All people are different. Everyone has their own preferences, interests, principles and moral standards that a person adheres to. Therefore, it is not surprising that at times people cannot find a common language, and conflict situations arise due to misunderstanding. They have different classifications, but the rules of behavior in conflicts are universal, so they are effective in any case.
What is conflict?
A conflict is usually understood as a situation in which two or more parties are involved, each of which adheres to its own position, incompatible with the interests of the other.
Conflict situations arise when the interests of individuals or groups are incompatible. And each has both positive and negative points. That is, the constructive and destructive functions of the conflict. And the rules of behavior in a conflict situation determine what character the quarrel will be.
Phases of conflict
Every disagreement is made up of threemilestones:
- Awareness. The participants in the conflict understand that they are defending different positions. Communication becomes bipolar, the subjects begin to stand up for their points of view.
- Strategy. The parties understand that they cannot agree on a certain issue. The strategy and rules of behavior in conflicts here come to the rescue as possible solutions to the problem. Each subject chooses a line of behavior acceptable to him.
- Action. Participants in the conflict choose ways to act. Each of them depends on the ultimate goal of the participant. For example, the subjects may try to reach a compromise or to remain each "on his own". This stage is considered the final one in the conflict.
How can you behave in a conflict?
The basic rules of behavior in conflicts consist of five behavioral strategies:
- Adjust. According to this method, one side of the quarrel is adjusted to the other. That is, although a person has a different opinion on a certain issue, he does not express it, fearing to spoil relations or be misunderstood.
- Avoid. Perhaps, among the entire list, which contains the rules of behavior in conflicts, this is the most common method. Participants of a misunderstanding leave the conflict situation, letting everything take its course or pretending that nothing happened.
- Find a compromise. A compromise is a solution that will be acceptable to both parties, as it will satisfy their interests to some extent.
- Compete. The subjects of the conflict take active positions and try to prove their opinion to the other side, opposing a different opinion.
- Cooperate. With this decision, the parties find a method that will help achieve the goals of both parties. For example, achieving the goals of one of the participants in the quarrel will help the other to realize his plans, so he helps the opponent.
Rules of conduct in conflicts: recommendations from psychologists
Despite the fact that conflictology is an independent discipline that considers the named situation at the scientific level, in the development of any confrontation there is a human factor. Therefore, the rules of behavior in a conflict are often developed by psychologists, whose competence is to take this into account. The recommendations of experts are as follows:
- A chance to speak out. Most conflicts arise for two reasons - a person is too tense and irritated to listen to another, or cannot express his point of view. In any case, to solve the problem, you need to speak up, blow off steam, listen to the other side and get your point across.
- Level out aggression. Every person wants to be considered with his opinion, and if this does not happen, many begin to get angry and annoyed. It is likely that the opponent will begin to show aggression. In this case, it is necessary to bring down the attack with non-standard and unexpected methods. For example, you can ask about something that does not relate to the subject of the conflict. And you can ask for advice - how,in his opinion, it is possible to resolve the conflict situation. The main thing is to switch attention to positive emotions.
- No "reciprocity". Rules of conduct in conflicts often insist that you cannot respond to aggression with aggression. It is better to ask the opponent to tell what he wants to get in the end. After all, the main thing is the result, and people often, seeing a problem, get hung up on their emotions about it.
- Respect. You cannot say that the opponent is doing wrong. It's better to talk about your feelings. For example, impulsive: “You betrayed me!” - replace with surprised: "I feel that I have been betrayed." Do not insult your opponent and ignore his words.
- No evidence. In conflicts, it is rarely possible to prove something. It is better to pay attention to what the other side is saying by asking simple questions about their position. It is worth keeping on an equal footing with a partner, talking calmly and confidently, then the opponent will calm down his aggression.
- Apology. The best way to discourage an overexcited opponent is to apologize. But this is only if the feeling and awareness of one's own guilt is present.
- Save the relationship. Regardless of how the dispute is resolved, it is better to say directly what in a particular situation caused a negative reaction and why. Politeness and sincerity are the main components for resolving conflicts. This is better than understatement, which will subsequently lead to a break in relations.
What mistakes does a conflicting person make
Very often inconflicts, a person relies on his own emotions, and not on common sense. That is why it is difficult to find a solution acceptable to both parties. The most common mistakes are that a person acts selfishly and acts under the influence of emotions. He does not want to solve the problem, but defends only his own opinion, which makes it difficult to find a compromise. The participant in the conflict does not want to take into account that there are many paths to a solution, but acts only within the framework of established norms or traditions. It also happens that a person, in principle, does not want to solve a problem - he either agrees with everyone, or switches to another topic, ignoring important issues.
Conflict is good
People have different attitudes towards conflicts. Someone prefers not to interfere and keep their opinion to themselves, but don’t feed someone with bread, let them just make a scandal and prove their case. But each conflict and its successful solution is an opportunity to grow above yourself, to achieve twice as much as you could before. Therefore, there are rules of conduct in conflicts so that each person has the opportunity to constructively defend their priorities.
