Psychologists say that the most difficult period for a man is the age from 37 to 43 years. It is also called a midlife crisis. The psychology of a man at the age of 40 is the subject of study for leading experts, since it is very difficult to find answers to many questions. This fatal period can bring significant destruction to all areas of a man's life. At the same time, not only your own self-esteem suffers, but also your personal life.
Reasons for disappointments
A 35-40 year old man is pretty predictable. The woman is no longer surprised by his bad mood and constant reproaches. A short list of male "compositions" can be given.
- "I want more freedom, you restrict me and do not let me live in peace." It doesn't matter that these "interests" are completely incompatible with the role of a husband.
- "I work hard, so I will live the way I want to." Although at the same time the wife can also spend the whole day at work, and in the eveningstake care of the household and children. What matters is what a man does.
- "You follow me and forbid me to communicate with my friends."
- "You are a bad mother and raised your children wrong." To the counter question of his wife: “What were you doing at that time?” - at best, you can get one answer: “Worked.”
- "You are only interested in your own hobbies and interests, you are not interested in my life." But if a wife shows interest in her husband, it is perceived as an interference in his personal space and control.
- "You only want my money."
- "The house is dirty, the children are ill-mannered, the food is tasteless." Wives of 40-year-old husbands have to listen to such a “song” every day.
- "Don't ask me why I act like this, you won't understand anyway."
- "Why do I suffer? I have one life, let's get a divorce.”
When a man turns 40, he thinks of only one thing - to escape from the "prison" in which he found himself. It depresses him that every day he has to return to the evil witch, when there are so many beautiful fairies around. Such a “breaking” leads to the fact that a man destroys his family and sets off towards the new and unknown. The fact that another life does not always turn out to be better is of little concern to him during this period. He is sure that a miracle awaits him ahead, which will bring happiness.
Man is a hero
40 years for a man is the age when he begins to take stock. If he has some success, then he sincerely considers himself a winner and longs for universal approval and delight. Firstqueue from the wife. But she cannot always share his confidence in her own exclusivity. The wife has stopped admiring her husband and giving him compliments, which hurts his pride very much. Photos of men who are in this state often betray their dissatisfaction.
To satisfy his ambitions, a man is looking for a girl who will look at him with loving eyes and catch every word. It seems to him that if you do not find such a fan now, then it will be too late later. This fear is so strong that a man is ready to throw himself into the pool with his head and destroy everything that was created by such labor.
Youth is running out
A man begins to understand that the fifth decade has been exchanged, besides, the body begins to play pranks: it will hurt there, then it will stab here. The realization that old age is not as far away as it seemed a couple of years ago, and perhaps the best years are behind, causes a man to panic. Photos of men taken several years ago are another confirmation of this.
Erectile dysfunction
Women may not even try to understand what it means to a man. The fear of impotence or a weak erection cannot be compared with the feelings of the fair sex about a new wrinkle or cellulite. Violation of sexual function for a man is like the end of life. When a man reaches 45, his psychology changes.
Even if there is no real problem yet, such thoughts make a man angry and aggressive. He gets irritated over trifles and tries to get rid of the internalnegativity. But under stress, testosterone, the hormone of aggressiveness, splashes out in large quantities, so a vicious circle is obtained. Often it is the wife who becomes the hostage of the situation.
The psychology of a man at the age of 40 has a characteristic feature - he is completely focused on his own achievements and intimate victories. He is sure that sexual relations with his wife have already become obsolete and do not bring satisfaction. There remains only a sense of duty, which does not at all inspire feats. Rather, on the contrary. The man feels unhappy, he understands that he was tortured by the claims of his wife and that he blames her for the fact that his dreams have not yet been realized. During a crisis, he does not want to take care of children and delve into their problems, all this seems to him not important. The main thing now is your own ego and satisfaction of your needs.
Of course, in all troubles, in the understanding of a man, the wife is to blame. He is sure that she has ceased to understand him, that he is alone in the family and everyone uses him.
The crisis of forty years is a real earthquake
The psychology of a man at the age of 40 is such that he goes rogue and does not think about anything. The thirst for freedom is very strong, and it seems to him that if he does not "jump on the departing train" now, then it will be too late.
Initial psychology and experts are sure that at this age the behavior of a man is similar to that of adolescence, and his thoughts are just as confused. He wants romance and thrills, so he starts light affairs and flirts with everyone. The most interesting thing is that a man sincerelyhe seems to be in love. For the sake of his passion, he is ready to deceive his wife and forgets about the children. He is inspired only by that woman who is absolutely not like his demanding and angry wife.
How a forty-year-old married man behaves
Almost every wife of a forty-year-old husband has noticed changes in his behavior, which are caused by interest in other women. At the beginning of the “spree”, a man may not plan to leave his family, but a new sexual charge and long-forgotten emotions give him an incentive to live. After all, the passion for his wife has long subsided, although not every woman is ready to admit this fact.
The peak of sexual activity falls on the age of thirty, so it is quite natural that by the age of forty a man is no longer so strong in this regard. But this state of affairs does not suit him at all, so he blames the woman for everything. In his understanding, it is she who cannot turn him on.
Confirmation of his own theory a man is looking for on the side. With new women, he feels quite confident, which is not surprising, because emotions are strong, and novelty always excites fantasy. But over time, everything returns to normal, because it is impossible to deceive nature.
The psychology of men in the family is such that if the wife accepts such a situation and does not consider it necessary to destroy the family because of her husband's "dope", then the marriage can exist in this mode for several more years. Most likely, when the crisis is over, the husband will again become loving and caring. But not every woman is ready to forgive betrayal.
Divorce Peak
Whenthe age of “a man after 40” comes, his psychology changes dramatically. Everything that he once aspired to now seems completely unimportant to him. He easily leaves the family and is firmly convinced that he will never return there. Well, who voluntarily returns to prison? But over time, his life with the new good fairy turns into a theater of the absurd: the man begins to compare her with the "old" wife, whom, as it turned out, he cannot completely let go. Commitments begin to burden him again, so he "runs away" to where he can be alone.
What a woman should do
There is an opinion that a man's interest can be returned with a new image. But, as practice shows, this is complete nonsense. A woman should always take care of herself and look well-groomed, regardless of her husband's attitude towards her.
Most often, a man goes not to the woman who is younger or more beautiful, but to the one who, as it seems to him, understands him better and does not demand anything, agreeing to his “rules of the game”. It is this young lady that attracts him the most. He does not want to "strain", spend big money on courtship and sacrifice his interests for the sake of a woman. But the most important thing a man is looking for is novelty.
If a woman wants to keep her family together
In this case, she needs to keep her mouth shut and not discuss the misbehavior of her own husband. If a woman can show wisdom, then the man will “go crazy” and return to the family. You should not share your problem with friends and neighbors, so as not to cause unnecessarygossip.
You can enlist the support of the mother-in-law, because it is unlikely that she approves of the behavior of her married son. But sometimes you can “run into” the opposite situation: the mother-in-law can blame her wife for all the troubles, because she is a bad housewife and cooks tasteless. And in general, husbands do not leave good wives. So it’s worth considering a few times whether it is necessary to interfere in the family problems of parents.
Who is this rival
A man is unlikely to tell himself who his mistress is and with whom he is cheating on his wife. Therefore, almost all women try to get information about their rival on their own, so as not to fight the enemy with their eyes closed. But it will not lead to anything good, except for mental torment. Moreover, you do not need to look for contacts with your mistress and sort things out with her. It will be a definite loss.
If a woman wants to save her family, you can't kick her husband out on her own. When life is soul to soul behind you, you should not make decisions in haste. Often a man in this difficult period for him expects support, understanding and action from his wife, but he behaves so aggressively that his behavior is repulsive. At this moment, it seems to him that he will always think this way. But someday the crisis will end, and it will not be possible to return the family. As life shows, it is at this moment that the wife has a man who loves her and the children and is ready to move mountains for them.
How to help a man
So, a man after 40… His psychology implies a certain waterline during this period, which divides life into "before" and "after". As soon as the wife sees the firstsymptoms of a crisis, it is worth devoting more time to a man, surrounding him with unobtrusive care and warmth.
During this period, a man begins to think about he alth and prefers to eat right. The wife needs to take this nuance into account and diversify or completely change her usual diet. If the husband is smart enough, he will appreciate the efforts and patience of his wife and will not allow betrayal in the form of treason. After such a test, their life can change dramatically and become even better than it was before the crisis. A man must be aware of every act and understand what it can lead to. The craving for novelty, no matter how strong it may be, should not prevail over reason and adequacy.
Four patterns of crisis
The psychology of a man at the age of 40, like behavior, is changing dramatically. Experts identify four models of the crisis.
- The world is collapsing. It seems to a man that nothing works out for him, life passes by and all desires remain unfulfilled.
- Pseudo-development. The man is completely dissatisfied with his life, although there are no visible reasons for this. But at the same time, he demonstratively radiates happiness.
- Resentment at fate. A person with this mindset has the hardest time coping with a crisis.
- Full implementation. A man who is confident in his abilities and does not suffer from hidden complexes overcomes this difficult period with the least losses. He does not destroy the family and does not indulge in all serious. Life taught him that problems should be solved, not run from them.
Knowing the secrets of the psychology of men, you can survivea fatal crisis, without spoiling your life and without causing pain to those around you who sincerely love and experience.
