In life it often happens that a connection appears between people: friendship, love, friendship. However, it also happens that there is a certain craving or even dependence on someone. Consider in our article why people are attracted to each other, and what to do about it.
Definition and features
What is attraction to a person? This is a fairly simple question, the answer to which is in the word itself. So, craving is an attraction to another person, or constant thoughts about him, a desire to be near. All these signs can be regardless of whether the object of attraction is nearby or not. The attraction can be, for example, to a certain person of the opposite sex because of falling in love, or to your close friend, just because it is interesting with him.
Reasons
Why are you drawn to a person? Psychology as a science deals with this issue. There are several main reasons to consider:
- There is a so-called sexual craving. This is mainly characteristic of men who feel in love or desire for a certain woman.
- Habit is also a significant reason why people can be attracted to each other. For example, ex-husbands and wives who have lived together for many years and still feel affection after a divorce.
- Children and parents, as well as people close by blood, also often feel drawn and attached to each other.
- As one of the essential reasons - loneliness. Lonely people may lack warmth and companionship, and that is why they may feel longing for a certain person who fills in such gaps.
- Falling in love is a feeling that many people can start to feel drawn to the object of their sigh.
- According to some psychologists and psychoanalysts, cravings can be for a person who is somewhat reminiscent of a person who left a deep mark (or even a wound) in the "heart". But this is not always the case. It is possible to be attracted to a certain person, even if he just looks a bit like a former soul mate, but with whom there was a parting by mutual agreement, without sacrifice, and not necessarily painful.
- According to many psychologists, people are more drawn to those who resemble their parents. So, a girl may be attracted to a man who unconsciously reminds her of her father. Or a man reaches out to a woman who resembles his mother.
Thus, there can be an infinite number of reasons why a person is drawn to a person,but the most important ones are highlighted above. It's also worth noting that some of us are more likely to become addicted to other people than others. There is a type of individual that is called "victims" in psychology, so they may have a tendency to do so. A very striking and common example is a wife who has become dependent on her tyrant husband. And also addicts can be people who care about being needed by someone, who can't stand being alone.
Why are you drawn to your ex?
This is a question many people ask themselves after a painful breakup with a loved one. Breaking free from an ex addiction is a little more difficult if there has been a long marriage or long-term cohabitation.
The reasons, of course, can be all of the above factors. But the most important thing, why it can be drawn to the former, is the feeling of possible understatement, the desire to return everything. After all, people often build relationships with the expectation of duration, for "love to the grave." No one can even think at the beginning, being in love, that a month, a year, two or twenty years will pass, and a break will occur. As a rule, both people "suffer" from the gap and reach out to each other.
But consider another situation. If the relationship did not last long, then there may be other reasons why you are drawn to your loved one. Often, if someone alone initiated the breakup, and the other half did not suspect what would happen, then it canfeel the so-called "broken heart". There is a craving, a desire to be there, to return everything, to start from the beginning, but, alas, sometimes it is better to let go than to become depressed. Let's see how to do it below.
What to do if you are drawn to a person?
It so happened that you feel drawn to a person, but do not know what to do? If this is mutual, and the other person is also stretching, then everything can be very simple. The main thing is to let each other know that you are not indifferent. You can do this by starting to pay attention to this person, often communicate with him, but in no case resist such a craving, unless, of course, this goes beyond common sense. You can also try to get the person to notice you if they weren't paying any attention or noticing you in the first place. Perhaps this will be the beginning of a strong relationship.
But it happens that the dependence is not mutual, and even attempts to get closer are futile. As they say, you can not force a person against his will to experience any feelings. What to do in such a situation, we will consider below.
How to get rid of addiction by a person on your own?
The attraction to a person is not always mutual. Often in such cases it is better to get rid of such cravings so as not to fall into melancholy and painful dependence. How can this be done?
- Try to think less about the object of sighing. You may have to make an effort, because it is not so easy to do this, it will take more than one day.
- Otherway - to occupy yourself with something that can distract from cravings for a person. It is advisable to choose a non-routine activity, such as climbing, traveling, reading books, watching movies, and so on.
- A more radical way is to limit all communication with the person you are drawn to. You also need to stop following him on social networks, meet less, do not intersect.
Psychologists
In some cases, coping with addiction can be difficult on your own. Then the help of psychologists and trainings can help a lot, because if you share your experiences with someone else, open your soul, speak out, it can be easier. In addition, psychologists can give excellent advice and prevent depression. But the most important thing is to choose a competent specialist, approach this issue competently and go to sessions regularly. In some cases, psychiatric help may be required.
Trainings
Separately, you can also highlight all kinds of trainings, of which there are a lot. They can be directed to different goals and problems. Of course, they are not as individual as a session with a psychologist, since trainings are usually a group of people with a common problem and with one (or several leaders/leaders). Such classes last a certain number of times, and in the end it is understood that each person will receive a certain favorable experience or even solve his problem. The advantages of trainings are that when you see "brothers" in misfortune around you, you feel less alone. Anothera possible plus is a cheaper price than if you visit a psychologist individually.
But, perhaps, there are also disadvantages. Firstly, the cost of trainings is not always affordable. The more famous the presenters, the higher the price, as a rule. And secondly, the training itself is not always of high quality. In some cases, this is just a hoax or ordinary lectures on psychology, but with the aim of raising money.
And yet, as a rule, such classes are aimed at one idea (problem, goal). For people, everything can be very personal, and many need individual work. Especially if there is a question of dependence and why one is drawn to a certain person, because each such case is special.
Instead of a conclusion
Why is a person drawn to another person? As it turned out, there are many reasons: due to the characteristics of the psyche, attachment, hormones and much more. There are also many ways to get rid of addiction. The most important of them is to understand yourself and decide which path to choose: wait what happens next, stay with this feeling or try to get rid of it, seek help from another person, or try to start a new life.
