What is the difference between responsible and irresponsible parents? Answers to this question can be very different. For some, responsibility does not go beyond "fed, shod and fed." For others, it is simply unthinkable not to take your child to almost all the most useful circles that are in the city. That is why there is a lot of debate about what responsible parenting is and what approaches adults should take in raising their child.
The answer is, as always, somewhere in between. Each child is a separate person, and his path is to gradually move away from mom and dad. And the main task of adults is to teach children to live independently.
What is a responsible parent?
There are many definitions and characteristics that indicate what they are,good fathers and mothers. In particular, they must be responsible. Everyone knows about it, of course. However, the understanding of what responsible parenting is is rather vague for most people.
Everyone who brings up his child builds his own line of behavior. It is based, as a rule, on personal experience, as well as on memories of their own childhood. However, there are also general recommendations of psychologists intended for fathers and mothers who strive to form responsible parenthood.
What does this concept mean? Responsible parenting is understood as a high degree of trust that adults show in relations with a child, and a balance of various aspects of upbringing. This is their desire, as well as the ability to support their son or daughter financially, which should not harm the education of a growing person and the formation of personal qualities.
It should also be understood that responsible parenthood is not one state or another. It is a process, or rather a set of processes that proceed in different directions.
It is worth understanding that a responsible parent is not at all someone who can be called kind. The latter concept characterizes only the emotional side of the relationship with the child. So, a good parent is always disposed towards his son or daughter, and therefore can provide him with greater independence. But in some cases this is regarded as the oblivion of many, and especially importantaspects of a child's life.
It is also impossible to draw parallels between responsible and caring parents. Indeed, if increased attention is shown to a child, in which the main thing is that he be he althy and not be “worse than others”, mothers and fathers often do not develop the spiritual life of their child and his character enough.
Key qualities of responsible parents
Dads and moms should use the following key ingredients in their daily parenting:
- Communicative. Parents need to communicate regularly with their child, being aware of his preferences and interests. Responsible fathers and mothers are always ready to share their hobbies with the child, influencing them and correcting them, if necessary, within reasonable limits.
- Emotional. When in contact with a child, parents should empathize with him. Listening to important topics for a son or daughter, moms and dads need to act as assistants or advisers. With emotional interaction, a child's response should occur. He will certainly open up to the parent, telling about his experiences and discussing the problems with him.
- Normative. This is an element of socially responsible parenthood. What is it for? For the full socialization of a growing person with the simultaneous assimilation of the rules and norms adopted in society. In this direction, the parent should become an expert for the child, because an adult has the necessary experience of interacting with various social institutions, which his son or daughter does not have. Moms and dads in this case should be an example forimitations.
- Protective. One of the most important tasks of any parent is to preserve and further strengthen the he alth of the child and his life. This is a responsible task, given the fact that care for children in the country, in particular, he alth care, is increasingly becoming paid.
- Economic. For parents belonging to the poor and near-poor, the material support of children often becomes a problem that overshadows all others, because the child must be adequately dressed and have pocket money. In some cases, mothers and fathers seek to pay for education, which in our country is increasingly organized on a paid basis.
- Spiritual. In the current conditions of constant change in value orientations in society, it is important to instill in a child the ability to master basic life values that are priorities for any society. This includes family and he alth, life and culture of the people. Sometimes the transfer of basic values becomes the most difficult problem. After all, a child, even while still in the family, is influenced by powerful information and value flows, which are not always consistent with the instructions of the parents. This may include exposure to television advertising, the Internet, peer groups and other agents of socialization. Based on world experience, it becomes clear that the reproduction of all basic values in any country can be made a manageable process. However, this will happen only if the society itself is interested in preserving the spiritual heritage of its people.
Maturity
Psychologists mean by responsible parenthood a concept that has two dimensions. The first of these involves the achievement of maturity by a person, including civil, spiritual, psychological, emotional and social.
All this allows him to successfully adapt in society and achieve a certain status. Only a mature person is able to bear responsibility. Only in this case, he is able to fully educate his child. And if the person has not yet reached maturity? In this case, he is unlikely to become responsible for his children. Only after it can be said about a person that he has matured as a person, there is no doubt that he will definitely find a job for himself, acquire housing, build relationships in the family correctly, etc. By maturity, we also mean getting an education, because it allows you to earn money and be financially secure. In social terms, maturity helps parents create all the conditions for the birth of a child and his upbringing.
Main Functions
There is also a second dimension of responsible parenting. Under it, psychologists understand the performance of certain functions by moms and dads. Among them are the basic ones related to the satisfaction of the material and physiological needs of children. These are living conditions, clothes and food.
Nevertheless, according to psychologists, the creation of good material conditions necessary for the birth and upbringing of a son or daughter is a necessary condition for responsible parents, but notthe only one. It is not enough just to feed and clothe a child, to provide him with various socially significant benefits. Moms and dads need to be in the psychic reality of their child. And this is possible only if you spend time with your child, talk with him and try to understand his problems. In other words, between the psychological, pedagogical and material impact on children, adults should find some kind of golden mean.
Basic Skills
How to become a responsible parent?
This will require mastering three basic skills. Adults need:
- actively listen to your baby, understanding what he wants to tell;
- be able to express your words and feelings in such a way that they are accessible to the understanding of the child;
- when resolving conflict situations, use the principle of "both are right", that is, do everything possible so that all participants are satisfied with the result of the conversation.
Guidelines
Responsible parenthood is based on the following positions:
- Let your child be different. Such a principle will give him a chance to discover his own potential and develop it by finding a life purpose.
- Let kids make mistakes. Their own failures will help them improve themselves and achieve new successes.
- Do not prevent the child from expressing negative feelings. Only in this way will he begin to manage his emotions, which will allow him to gain confidence and the ability towork as a team.
- Let kids want more. Only in this case will they begin to realize that they deserve it, and at the same time learn to put off their desires for later. A child should be able to dream big, while being happy with what he has.
- Let your son or daughter say no. In this case, they will develop their will, defining a genuine and positive sense of their own "I". A child who has gained the right to say “no” begins to become more aware of his own thoughts, feelings and desires. At the same time, he has the opportunity to show his inner core, which in the future will allow him to boldly go through life.
Problems of the modern family
Today, there is a rather contradictory situation in society. On the one hand, it begins to turn its eyes to the needs and problems of the family, and on the other hand, there is a rather low level of adult competence in raising their children.
Many mothers and fathers say that no one ever taught them how to form a culture of family life and responsible parenthood. They are raising their children on the basis of their life experience. Sometimes moms and dads use the path of trial and error. Many of them take as a model their own upbringing, which was not always constructive and competent.
Pedagogical education for parents
Educational institutions do not stand aside from family problems. When planning work with moms and dads of students, they certainly plan the organization of the Schoolresponsible parenting. Pedagogical education in this case is necessary for a number of reasons. Among them:
- needs of modern society, which needs the interaction of social institutions and the family, which will allow the formation of value orientations in the younger generation;
- obtained innovative domestic and foreign experience in the education of a generation that will live in a constantly changing world;
- openness of the pedagogical community to society, innovation and past experience.
Principles of parent education
When considering issues of responsible parenting at the parent-teacher meeting, the teacher should take into account the following:
- Moms and dads have the primary right to raise their children. It is they who, first of all, should take care of their well-being, he alth and development.
- During the activities of responsible parenthood, the teacher must give only reliable information. When preparing a report, the teacher should use specialized medical, psychological, legal and other literature.
- When preparing an event on responsible parenthood, the information collected by the teacher should be practice-oriented. This will allow parents to use it in life without any problems.
- When holding a classroom or school-wide parent meeting on responsible parenthood, mutual respect and cooperation must be sought. Only with trustspecialists with mothers and fathers of students, as well as constructive searches for solutions to pressing issues, it is possible to achieve elimination of problems in raising children.
The main tasks of pedagogical education of parents
Why does an educational institution need to develop a responsible parenting program? Such a system will provide mothers and fathers with an orientation field where they can obtain the optimal knowledge and conditions necessary for the normal upbringing of children in a family environment. In addition, activities on responsible parenthood carried out according to a pre-planned plan will allow for the provision of advisory assistance. For many mothers and fathers, this will be an important help in overcoming psychological, pedagogical and sociocultural problems that are directly related to raising children. The activities included in the Responsible Parenting Plan will also help adults set their own goals. This is necessary to achieve the most effective results in raising children.
In addition, among the main tasks of the responsible parenting program are the following questions:
- increasing the level of psychological comfort in every family;
- strengthening the motivation of parents to raise he althy children;
- inculcating family values;
- teaching students the skills and knowledge in ethics and psychology that they will later need to fulfill parental functions.
How effective the implementation of the program will be, you canjudged by parents. In addition, the criteria for obtaining positive results will be:
- Growth of activity of parents in the educational process of the child. This should translate into increased attendance at school meetings. Also, an increasing number of parents should express their desire to be trained in the program in question and participate in class and educational activities.
- Growth of social activity of adults.
- Organization of children's free time by parents in the form of planning a child's vacation time and receiving additional education for them.
It is worth noting that the "Law on Responsible Parenthood" has been adopted in the Russian Federation. This document was developed by the Republic of Sakha (Yakutia) and is valid on its territory.
