There are people with whom we feel comfortable talking, we can talk, laugh and have fun with them. And there are those with whom, on the contrary, it is impossible to find a common topic for conversation. The main thing here is to establish contact.
How to please the interlocutor?
Establishing contact involves three main steps:
- Verbal interaction. It implies proper communication with a person. The speech should not contain obscene expressions and swear words. The purer and more beautiful it is, the more pleasant it is to listen to.
- Voice interaction. It is necessary to communicate in a calm tone, carefully pronouncing each phrase. If a person chatters or swallows half of the words, then it is quite difficult to understand him.
- Visual communication. A pleasant interlocutor should look neat, it is necessary that the facial expression be friendly, so that he smells good. It is unlikely that someone will be pleased to communicate with a groomed person.
Non-verbal communication. This concept refers to the technology of gestures. If a person constantly fusses, waving his arms and making sudden movements in an attempt to explain something to the interlocutor, then he will arouse suspicion. Psychologists say that an open, confident posture contributes to trust
Thus, the technique of establishing contact with a client rests on three main pillars: a neat appearance, competent communication and a beautiful voice. Judge for yourself, who would have aroused more confidence in you? A pleasant person who knows how to convey information correctly or unkempt, pronouncing chaotic phrases and making incomprehensible gestures. Agree, the conclusion is obvious.
The first stage is the regulation of relationships
Beautiful appearance and competent speech are not enough to establish psychological contact. To make the meeting as productive as possible, there are five more basic steps that need to be taken.
The first stage involves the regulation of relationships. A person who is in an unfamiliar society for him will feel slight discomfort. The first thing to do is to remove this psychological barrier.
In the first meeting, you should agree more and argue less. Let your opinion be slightly different from the opinion of the interlocutor, you will resolve this disagreement later. Now your main goal is to relieve verbal tension. If the meeting takes place in a business setting, it is recommended to talk a little on generalized topics, for example, about the weather,sports competitions or politics. Here, your assessment of what is happening should also match.
If, after 20 minutes of communication, the duration of pauses has decreased, and the dialogue has become more productive, then the first stage of the process of establishing and developing contacts between people can be considered completed.
Stage two - point of contact
At the second stage of communication with the interlocutor, it is necessary to find common ground. The interested person needs to know in advance more information about the person with whom the meeting is planned. Perhaps he is an avid hunter or fisherman, collects antiques, and is engaged in needlework. You can find out everything about his interests on social networks or through mutual friends. About your favorite hobby, you need to say as if by chance.
The second stage can be considered successful if the interlocutor noticeably perks up during the conversation and periodically returns to his favorite topic. The correct finding of common ground guarantees fruitful cooperation and a pleasant impression of yourself.
Third stage - establishing a single principle
Establishing a common principle is the most important step in the communication process. This concept refers to the formation of an opinion about your interlocutor. In total, there are several principles on which further relationships can be based.
- "I'm ready" - a person is a self-confident person. It's difficult, almost impossibleconfuse something. She will perceive any problem not as a limitation, but as a test of her abilities.
- "I am open" - a person is completely open to his partner. He does not flatter him and directly talks about his positive and negative qualities. Such a psychological object will not say that he will always arrive on time, he will say that he, like everyone else, has human qualities that he cannot control (there will be no flight of the vehicle, the alarm clock will not ring, the pipe will break at home, etc.). e)
- "I'm straight" - a person always tells the truth about everything and never embellishes to look better.
All of the above principles play a positive role in the process of establishing contacts between people. There are several principles that can lead to a negative opinion in the interlocutor.
- "I'm reserved" - a person hardly makes contact, he does not want to provide information about himself and is not ready for a productive dialogue.
- "I'm not sure" - a person will always doubt his abilities, he will not be able to give an affirmative answer to any question.
Such qualities will let the interlocutor understand what kind of person is sitting in front of him, and whether he will have a desire to continue communication with him.
Fourth stage - pitfalls
The fourth stage begins when the process of establishing a business contact has dragged on for several days. With close proximity, partners will begin to notice that they know incomplete information about each other. Finding out the truth about these "pitfalls" is possible only by acting as an initiator. For example, it seemed to you that the person with you is not direct and open enough. Ask him a provocative question and carefully analyze his reaction. This method will quickly dispel all possible doubts.
Fifth stage - adaptation
The last (final) stage of establishing contact implies the adaptation of partners to each other. By this period, the two psychological objects already know all the positive and negative qualities about each other. Now, based on this information, they can approach their partner.
What is it for?
It is worth talking separately about why you need to develop this connection in the process of communication:
- It is important to know the techniques and ways of establishing contact with the client in order to inspire confidence in him. A properly organized conversation will set him up in a positive way - this is the basis of a productive relationship.
- These qualities are essential in an interview. A person who is neatly dressed, speaks beautifully, and puts on positive communication principles is more likely to get this job.
- Every businessman should know about the process of establishing and developing contacts. Proper communication will have a huge impact on his activities. Who wants to cooperate with an ignoramus who is unpleasant to deal with?
- CorrectRelationship building is essential for everyone. After all, every day people closely interact with other personalities in shops, restaurants, transport and other public places. "Quality" communication creates a positive opinion about yourself.
Feedback
Feedback is another method of establishing contact. This approach will allow you to form the right opinion about your interlocutor.
- You need to pay attention to how a person answers the question. If he looks into his eyes, then this indicates that he is as interested as possible, the topic of communication is really close to him. A languid look at the situation in the room or the window indicates a lack of interest.
- It is a very good sign if a person makes some notes in a notebook during a conversation. This suggests that he responsibly approaches the negotiations. You should pay attention to what moments he focused his attention on as much as possible.
- During negotiations various barriers will appear. For example, a person will not understand the interpretation of various terms and formulations. It's a good sign if he asks a lot of questions and tries to get to the bottom of the conversation going on.
Feedback is a very subtle psychological approach. If you want to create a good impression of yourself, it is important to pay attention to these nuances in advance.
Appearance
The most effective way to make contact whennegotiations - creating an attractive image. It is undesirable for an interview to dress up in the most expensive suits. It is important that the image is restrained and neat.
A woman is recommended to wear a stylish dress for negotiations, which will emphasize all the advantages and hide the flaws of her figure. Another good option is a formal suit. In no case should clothes show legs and chest. Such a depraved image is unlikely to inspire confidence in the interlocutor. Hair should be styled as much as possible. It is necessary that the makeup is not defiant, but, on the contrary, emphasizes the natural beauty of the face. For a manicure, you should choose discreet varnishes.
Men are advised to go to the meeting in a business suit. Classic jeans with a shirt can be a great alternative. It is not at all necessary that the clothes be from an elite designer. Usually interlocutors pay attention to the quality of shoes and the brand of watches. An accessory can create a special impression about a person.
We should also talk about the color palette. For an interview, it is not recommended to combine several bright colors. For example, if the blouse or shirt is bright, then the accessories, trousers or skirt and shoes should be neutral.
Non-Verbal Communication
Non-verbal communication plays an important role. Psychologists call it hidden dialogue. How a person behaves during a conversation can tell a lot. For example, if he sits idly by, then he is most likely closedor is hiding something. An open, relaxed posture indicates his willingness to communicate.
You should be alert if a person is nervous. This may indicate that he is not confident in himself or is hiding something. Facilitating signals will be the following: if the interlocutor begins to touch something in his hands, for example, actively fiddling with a button from clothes or a teaspoon.
You need to carefully examine the facial expression. A huge plus if a person has a friendly smile on his face. This is a sign that he is in the mood for productive communication.
Establishing contact with the child
Separately worth talking about establishing contact with the child. If you do it right, you can noticeably get closer. There are several effective psychological methods to improve communication. Among them are the following:
- Intensive rhythm brings its own rules into our lives. Mothers are engaged in building their careers, appearance, household chores and other useful things. No matter how hard it is, it is worth allocating at least one hour a day to communicate or play with your baby.
- You should communicate with your son or daughter as calmly as possible, without raising your tones. If a parent constantly scolds his offspring, then there is a high degree of probability that he will grow up as a closed person.
- You just need to love your child. Read books with him, go for walks, clean the house, cook together and just chat. Even the most qualified nanny with a pedagogical education cannot replace the care of a beloved mother.
Establishing contact with a child is really very important. It contributes to the formation of trusting relationships between close people, which is important.
Conclusion
If you do not know how to communicate with people, every interview ends in failure, you have problems in relations with relatives, then it's time to think about how to learn how to establish contact between people. A few simple rules will allow you to do this much more successfully.
