Each of us uses verbal and non-verbal behavior when communicating. We convey information not only through speech, but also through a variety of means. In this article, we will take a closer look at verbal and non-verbal behavior. You will learn a lot of interesting facts about communication, as well as receive a number of valuable tips.
Verbal behavior
Verbal behavior involves communicating through words. From early childhood, we are taught to express our thoughts logically, so an adult usually does not have problems expressing them. Ornate speech and eloquence are acquired with experience. However, only 7% of what we say is perceived by others through the meaning that lies in the words. The rest is through non-verbal reactions and intonation. In business communication, oddly enough, the most important factor is the ability to listen, not to speak. Unfortunately, not many of us have learned to pay attention to what the interlocutor says.
Listening to emotions and facts islistening to the message in full. By doing so, a person increases the likelihood that the information conveyed to him will be understood. In addition, by this he shows that he respects the message conveyed by the speakers.
Keith Davis' Rules for Effective Communication
Professor Keith Davis identified the following 10 rules for effective listening.
- You can't take in information when you're talking, so stop talking.
- Help your interlocutor loosen up. It is necessary to make a person feel free, that is, to create a relaxed atmosphere.
- The speaker should show your willingness to listen. You should act and look interested. When listening to another, try to understand him, and not look for reasons to object.
- Irritating moments need to be eliminated. Avoid tapping on the table, drawing, shifting papers during communication. Perhaps with the door closed, the information will be perceived better?
- The speaker should be empathized. To do this, try to imagine yourself in his place.
- Be patient. Do not interrupt the interlocutor, do not save time.
- Hold your temper. If a person is angry, he gives the wrong meaning to his words.
- Do not allow criticism and disputes. This forces the speaker to take a defensive stance. He can also get angry or shut up. No need to argue. In fact, you will lose if you win the argument.
- Askinterlocutor questions. This will cheer him up and show him that he is being listened to.
- And finally, stop talking. This advice comes first and last, because everything else depends on it.
Besides the ability to effectively listen to your interlocutor, there are other ways to improve the art of communication. Before communicating ideas, you need to clarify them, that is, you should systematically analyze and think about the questions, ideas or problems that you plan to communicate to another. If you want to achieve success in your career or personal life, it is very important to take into account the various features of interpersonal interaction. Researchers say that, along with verbal (verbal) communication, non-verbal language that people use should also be taken into account.
Non-verbal language
It should be noted that this concept involves not only control of one's behavior, the ability to interpret facial expressions and gestures of a partner, but also a zone of a person's personal territory, its mental essence. In addition, this concept includes the national characteristics of the behavior of interlocutors, their relative position in the process of communication, the ability of partners to decipher the meaning of using such aids as cigarettes, glasses, lipstick, umbrella, mirror, etc.
Nonverbal behavior
When we think about communication, we have in mind first of all the language. However, it is only a part of the means of communication, and, perhaps, not the main one in such a process as communication. Nonverbal behavior often playseven a big role. We use many ways to communicate our feelings, thoughts, aspirations and desires to the people around us. Such means of communication are called non-verbal. This means that no words or sentences are used in them. Communication, considered in a broad sense, is not only verbal.
Non-verbal channels of communication
They can be divided into two categories. The first is non-verbal behavior, and the second is non-verbal characteristics.
Behavior "non-verbal" includes all kinds of behavior (except for the pronunciation of words) that take place in the process of communication. It includes:
- facial expression;
- posture, orientation and tilt of the body;
- gestures and foot movements;
- pitch, tone of voice and other vocal characteristics, intonation and pauses, speech speed;
- touch;
- communication distance;
- gaze as well as visual attention.
Thus, non-verbal behavior includes both what we usually associate with active self-expression, and what is more subtle and less vivid manifestations.
As far as non-behavioral non-verbal communication is concerned, it covers many cues and message sources that cannot be inferred directly from behavior. Interestingly, interpersonal communication is influenced by such trifles as the use of the type of clothing, time, architectural structures where we work and live, cosmeticadjustments we make to our appearance. All of these are defined as covert forms of communication. Such non-behavioral moments in the process of communication convey information to the interlocutor along with non-verbal behavior and language. Verbal and non-verbal communication when we perceive a person form a single whole.
Non-verbal behavior is a rather complex and deep topic in psychology. However, some points are not at all difficult to remember and take into account in everyday life. Below are some features of non-verbal behavior that are essential for effective communication to interpret.
Gestures and postures
The movements of the body and hands convey a lot of information about a person. In particular, they manifest the direct emotional reactions of the individual and the state of his body. They allow the interlocutor to judge what kind of temperament a person has, what kind of reactions he has (strong or weak, inert or mobile, slow or fast). In addition, body movements and various postures reflect many character traits, a person's degree of self-confidence, impulsiveness or caution, looseness or tightness. The social status of the individual is also shown in them.
Such expressions as "spread your shoulders" or "stand bent over" are not just descriptions of postures. They determine what psychological state the individual is in. It should also be noted that gestures and posture are non-verbal human behavior, in which the acquired by the individualcultural norms. For example, if a man is brought up, he will not talk while sitting, if his interlocutor is a woman and she is standing. This rule applies regardless of how a man evaluates the personal merits of this woman.
The signs that are transmitted by the body are very important at the first meeting, since aspects of the personality of the interlocutor's character do not appear immediately. For example, if you are applying for a job, you should sit up straight during the interview. This will show your interest. You should also look the interlocutor in the eye, but not too insistently.
The following is regarded as an aggressive body position: a person is in tension, he is ready to move. The body of such a person is slightly forward, as if he is preparing to throw. This pose seems to signal that aggression is possible on his part.
Gestures play a very important role in communication. Attracting attention, you can wave your hand invitingly. You can make a waving irritable gesture, twist your hand at your temple. Applause means gratitude or greeting. One or two handclaps is a way to get attention. Interestingly, clapping was used to attract the attention of the gods in a number of pagan religions (before sacrifice or prayer). Actually, modern applause went from there. The arsenal of meanings that were and are being transmitted by clapping in the palm of your hand is very wide. This is understandable, because this gesture is one of the few that produce a sound,and loud enough.
Mimicry
Mimicry is a non-verbal behavior of a person, which consists in the use of a person's face. We are able to isolate and interpret the most subtle movements of the facial muscles. Iconic features have the position or movement of various parts of the face. For example, we raise our eyebrows in surprise, fear, anger, or greeting. It is known that even Aristotle was engaged in physiognomy.
Mimicry in animals and primitive people
It should be noted that not only humans, but also higher animals have facial expressions as a non-verbal communicative behavior. The grimaces of great apes, although they are similar to human ones, often express other meanings. In particular, the grin, which people might mistake for a smile, expresses a threat in monkeys. The animal raises its gums to show off its fangs. Many mammals (wolves, tigers, dogs, etc.) do the same.
By the way, this sign of threat, apparently, was once peculiar to humans as well. This confirms that the grin among a number of primitive peoples is not only a smile, but also a sign of bitterness or threat. For these peoples, fangs subconsciously still serve as a military weapon. By the way, in modern culture, the memory of this meaning of such a grimace has been preserved: there is an idiom "show teeth", the meaning of which is "to demonstrate a threat or resistance".
Signals sent by the eyes
The signals sent by the eyes are also related to facial expressions. Women are known to shoot with their eyes,flirtatious. You can say yes by blinking your eyelashes. An open, direct look into the eyes of the interlocutor is considered a sign of a free and strong person. This view has its biological roots. Among primitive peoples, as well as in the animal kingdom, it is often a challenge. Gorillas, for example, tolerate people near them, but a person should not look into the eyes of the leader, as the latter will regard this as an encroachment on his leadership in the herd. There are cases when a cameraman was attacked by a male gorilla, as the animal thought that the flashing camera lens was a challenge, a direct look into the eyes. And today in human society, such non-verbal behavior is considered courageous. It is known that when people are not confident in themselves, when they are shy, they look away.
Tactile communication
It includes patting, touching, etc. The use of such elements of communication indicates status, mutual relations, as well as the degree of friendship between the interlocutors. Relationships between close people are expressed in stroking, hugging, kissing. Relations between comrades often involve patting on the shoulder, shaking hands. Teenagers, like baby animals, sometimes imitate fights. So they are fighting for leadership in a playful way. Similar relationships between teenagers are expressed in kicks, pokes or grabs.
It should be noted that signs that convey non-verbal means of communication (touch, posture, facial expressions, etc.) are not as unambiguous as words,which we pronounce. Most often they are interpreted taking into account the situation, that is, the conditions in which they are observed.
Clothes as a way of non-verbal communication
In communication between people, some other ways of non-verbal communication are also known. For example, they include jewelry and clothing. For example, if an employee came to work in smart clothes, we can assume from this sign that today is his birthday or he has an important meeting ahead of him. The use of clothing as a means of communication is often practiced in politics. For example, the cap of Luzhkov, the former mayor of Moscow, reported that he was the mayor "from the people", the mayor is a "hard worker".
Thus, the non-verbal behavior of a person in psychology can be considered in many aspects. This phenomenon is of interest not only for scientists, but also for ordinary people. It is not surprising, because the culture of non-verbal behavior, like the culture of speech, is used in everyday life. The ability to correctly interpret words and gestures is useful to everyone. A deep understanding of the meaning of people's verbal/non-verbal behavior contributes to effective communication.
