For most people, mother is the most dear and irreplaceable person. It is very difficult and painful to imagine that someday it will not be, but sooner or later it will happen. In this article, we will share the advice of psychologists who tell how to live without a mother.
Such different situations
The world is arranged in such a way that children, when they reach a certain age, leave their native nest and begin to equip their lives elsewhere. This applies not only to human nature, but to all life on the planet. Each being does not experience a feeling of pity or worries when the time comes to part, but only accepts this situation as a given.
There is also the rule “nothing lasts forever” in the world. Even trees standing for 300-400 years die, even stars will go out sooner or later. This truth must be treated with understanding and humility. Of course, it is impossible to prepare for the loss of a loved one, but knowing that this is an inevitable life cycle should help you cope with heartache. Let's find out how to live without mom indifferent situations.
If it's time to separate
Now there are dozens of study programs at universities that offer favorable conditions for both living and subsequent employment. But there is one drawback - most educational institutions are located far from your city, sometimes they are located completely abroad. In this case, the family decides to send the future student to such a place, initiating an independent life. How to live without a mother, being in an unfamiliar city, where completely strangers surround?
Understand that sooner or later you will have to start an independent life, be responsible for your actions, learn to make decisions, both right and wrong. Do not be afraid that you will be far from your mother and loved ones, because now there is an opportunity to maintain regular contact. These are video calls and various instant messengers.
How to decide to live without a mother in another city? Be rational, soberly assess the situation. Nobody forces you to go to study in an unfamiliar place, you may well enter the nearest university or college, but is it worth it? What prospects await you when you leave your hometown? Be prepared for difficulties, but remember that they are all solvable. During the time that you spend away from home, you can learn to be responsible and independent. After all, as soon as you feel freedom, you will begin to succumb to temptations and provocations. It is at this moment that a person begins to cultivate a steel rod inside himself,which will teach you to separate the important from the insignificant, the good from the bad, the useful from the harmful.
Death is inevitable
It often happens that due to illness, as a result of an accident or for other reasons, the closest and dearest person leaves. Let's find out how to get over your mom's death. The advice of psychologists will show whether it is possible to cope with this loss and what ways to deal with mental pain.
Sooner or later you will have to understand and accept the fact that each person is measured by his own time and death is inevitable. You can cry and moan, beat the walls with your fists, but such an event cannot be canceled or stopped, it is not in the power of man. You will have to live with this understanding further, but no one forbids you to be sad and remember your mother.
On the contrary, sadness must sooner or later pour out in the form of tears and crying. Only by experiencing the full pain of loss can you afford to let it go and start building a new life. But many simply do not know what to do if their mother died, how to live on. Perhaps the first reaction will be to isolate yourself from the outside world, withdraw into yourself and stop being interested in anything. This is the wrong path, it only leads to the degradation of the personality and the devastation of the inner world.
Family First
Thinking about how to live without a mother, do not forget about your children and loved ones who need you more than ever. It is better not to close yourself off from them, but to continue to communicate with people, go to work, run away from terrible thoughts. If ayou have to say it, it's worth it. Do not be afraid to seek help from friends and family, talk about your feelings and suffering. Prayer and fellowship with a confessor helps some people.
Understand that a loved one is not gone forever, because he is there as long as you remember him and keep warm memories. Think regularly about how to live without a mother, while remembering that over time, suffering and memories will become light and pure sadness, but this is worth waiting for.
If you lost your mother, it does not mean that life is broken and has become useless. This is not true at all. Yes, you have experienced bereavement and pain, which disturbs your mental and emotional state. However, the world needs you, your energy and desire to change something. Think that every day on the planet people lose their closest people who replaced the whole Universe for them, but they cope with pain, build their families, dedicate themselves to new activities and work.
Set a goal for yourself
Many are wondering: how to continue to live when mom is gone? Psychologists unanimously argue that the best way to cope with mental pain is work. This does not necessarily mean that you will have to visit a company that is hated, where neither employees nor their skills are valued. Work means any hobby that you enjoy. It should distract, heal wounds, help get rid of negative thoughts.
At the very beginning of the journey, when you are just faced with a loss, try not to withdraw into yourself. Allow yourself to be sad for a few days, and then dive back into the currents of life. It is not necessary to start doing something great and super complex. Go to the park, rent a bike, visit the museum. Let your friends and family keep you company. This will be a great start to deal with the heartache after the loss.
Most likely, you will experience a sense of shame, because "not even a few years after her death, and I started hanging out with friends, laughing and going to public places." Believe me, you do not need to be in mourning for years, because the pain of losing a loved one will always be present inside.
When you abstract in a situation, you will begin to see what is happening around you, you can increase the load and direct your energy in the right direction. Start learning languages, set goals for yourself, achieve them. Your goal is to do absolutely whatever you want, just to realize that you are still alive.
Only bright memories
Here's another tip for coping with your mom's death: Don't let your negative thoughts run wild. You should look at this situation with warmth, allowing only bright memories to overcome you. How to achieve this?
Passing past the cafe where you sat with your mother, your favorite park bench, the supermarket near the house, remember only the funniest and sweetest moments. You should not look for mistakes in past situations, causing guilt and self-pity. The thought “I remember my mother treating a stray dog near this store, maybe we saved her life” is notshould develop into “that day my mother and I had a big fight, I said too many bad things to her and accused her of touching a dirty and stray dog, how stupid I was.”
Feel the vibrations of this world
You can learn to live without a mother. Yes, you either lost a loved one, or are very far from him. However, this is no reason to forget that you are still alive.
You must have come across moments when you sit on the beach or watch the sunset and there is a feeling of delight. This is a wonderful feeling that should not be ignored or missed. So your consciousness is trying to show you that you are connected with this world. Unfortunately, a person cannot change the course of life events, but joining a single stream and enjoying the flickering view can be the right decision.
Don't dwell on the past and the future, live only in the present. Realize that you cannot change anything, everything that has been done will be left behind. But don't have false illusions about the future, don't try to look behind the dense veil of tomorrow. Do not waste time thinking about how to live without a mother in the world. After all, in any case, you will exist both with it and without it until your time comes to say goodbye to this world.
But if you can't change anything, then why not just succumb to the flow of life, using every minute for your own good, directing energy in the right direction? Open yourself to this world, imagine how proud your mother would be of you, that sadness and heartache could notbreak your steel rod.
Cruel but still an experience
After the death of parents, profound changes come, both internal and external. For the most part, the changes are positive, because when the pain subsided, and sadness remained a bright spot in the soul, a person gains wisdom and the realization that now he is mature and solely responsible for his actions.
Loss immediately divides people into two categories: those who are ready to cope with this situation, and those who break. In the first case, people understand that they cannot just give up. They accept the fact that death is inevitable, so they continue to live on, trying to make the most of all resources and knowledge in order to become happy, successful, wiser in the short time that was allotted to them.
Others, on the contrary, are not able to cope with that sadness and pain, do not allow others to help them, withdraw into themselves and close themselves off from society.
After the death of your mother, you will never be the same person again. Perhaps you will be able to free yourself from its shackles, you will begin to live in a completely different way, you will begin to try something new. It all depends on your relationship with your mother. But the fact that you will start a different life is a fact. You can choose any path you wish, using the experience gained.
New perspectives and opportunities
When you are away from your parents, a completely different world opens up before you, which is full of possibilities. Of course, living without a mother is hard, especially when you have to carryresponsibility for all your actions, lead an independent lifestyle and cope with the first serious domestic problems.
But the most difficult period lasts up to two or three years, and after that comes the realization that you have gained freedom of choice, have the opportunity to engage in any activity (which does not harm your he alth and is not dangerous).
You can not only study or work, but also devote your free time to hobbies, creativity, science. Dreaming of joining the gym? Dare! Do you want to learn how to play the piano? Why not. Interested in how our world works? Look for science-themed clubs.
Enjoy life, do not waste time on bitterness and resentment, regret and disappointment. It doesn't matter how you lost a person, but you are still in this world, full of strength and have great opportunities to do absolutely anything you want.
Relationship between mother and child
Children will be able to cope with the pain of loss or parting if you explain to them in an accessible way how the mechanisms of life work. Most people live without a mother, because they are attached to her, if not on the mental, then on the physical level. If a woman herself makes her child dependent on her, then it is likely that the child will not be able to come to terms with parting or loss.
When children become more mature and have an awareness of this world, you need to prepare them for the fact that sooner or later you will leave them, so do not dwell on your relationship, but be ready to continuelive, build your family and career, let happiness consume them.
If a child cannot live without a mother, then it is the parents who are to blame. This is because they deliberately make their child dependent on them, not allowing them to make independent decisions. And the older the children get, the worse the situation gets. Remember that there are a huge number of women in the world who are afraid to let their sons go. They control their every move, criticize the choices and impose their opinions.
How to prevent this? Trust your child, be both a friend and a parent. Support him, never humiliate or insult him, believe and help in all endeavors. So the child will both love you and not be one hundred percent dependent, because from early childhood he will learn to lead an independent lifestyle.
How to learn to live without a mother: useful tips
Our world is arranged in such a way that any mother teaches her child the skills that will be useful for him to survive, feed and build his own family. A tigress teaches cubs to hunt, frogs teach tadpoles to hide from predators. But in the world of people, everything is much more complicated, because a person protects his child to the last, protecting him from dangers even when it is time for him to fly out of the nest a long time ago.
If you know that sooner or later you will have to live without your mother, then you need to learn some skills and learn from her wisdom:
- Be your own. There is nothing more important than the ability to secure a roof over your head, food andclothes. Learn to cook first, whether you're a woman or a man. Learn how to shop, which foods to buy first, how to save money, and how to tell the difference between fresh and spoiled.
- Decision making. Start taking responsibility for your actions, analyze the importance of your activities. Ask for advice on how to communicate with the opposite sex, which hospital is better to go to, and then analyze the information received and create an ideal behavior model for you. Don't be afraid to make responsible decisions. No one guarantees that they will not lead you to failure, but this is how people earn their first experience and become wiser.
- Review the life of your parents. Think about what mistakes they made, what decisions were right on their way. The experience gained can be directed to yourself in order to try to make your life better.
In addition to these tips, there are several more. Each mother is the mistress of the house, the keeper of the hearth. She knows best how to wash white clothes, how to bake chicken in the oven and how to iron shirts. Learn everything your mom can do to be the best version of yourself.
Learn how to allocate the budget, see what purchases are considered useless and wasteful. Get acquainted with the appliances - washing machine, refrigerator, stove. Explore their possible functions, ask for useful tips. For example, did you know that you can descale any kettle without using chemicals? To do this, just pour citric acid into it, pourwater, turn on the appliance, wait for the boil, and then leave for 10 minutes.
Yes, it's hard to live without a mother, but learn one important thing, that in this world no one lives forever. This will help to cope with mental pain, as well as restore emotional balance. Do not forget that you are an absolutely unique person who was given life. Use it well, don't waste your time on suffering and regrets.
