How not to take everything to heart? Psychologist's advice

2024 Author: Miguel Ramacey | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 06:11

Human life is filled with stress. These are natural processes that determine the rhythm of life, the constant development of society and technology, relationships with people throughout this life. Psychologists often joke: "If you have no problems, check if you have a pulse."

Of course, throughout the time allotted to a person, he is forced to adapt. For some, this is easier, but for some, difficulties can become an exorbitant burden. Someone can easily repulse the offender, and someone will scroll through what they heard in their head for a long time, getting upset and driving themselves into a dead corner of their own experiences. Familiar? Then you should learn how not to take everything to heart, and, finally, learn how to live happily.

Psychologists about sensitive people

People who take everything to heart are considered to be emotionally labile in psychology. This means that they are characterized by a fairly quick change of mood,emotional states can change from the highest degree of joy to deep despair even within one day. They are more sensitive to stimuli - both physical and psychological. The inner world is very rich, fantasy and imagination are developed.

In everyday life, these are often good-natured people who will always respond to a request for help, even to the detriment of their own interests. This is due to the fact that approval from others is very important to them. The same trait often plays a cruel joke with sensitive people, because in life there are not always those who came with good intentions and will repay good for good.

Vulnerable people become more attached to others, and therefore the breakup of relationships is experienced by them especially bitterly and for a long time.

The reason for the increased sensitivity to changes in life may be the type of temperament. More often these are melancholics, who react very brightly to all external stimuli. Many of them are creative individuals.

Such an emotional constitution has its origin in heredity and is the final result of upbringing and living conditions. This means that it is still possible to be more resistant to life's difficulties, if only you knew how. You can learn to stop taking everything personally by working on yourself.

Emotion management: how does it work?

Perhaps everyone knows the statement that all diseases are from nerves. Any emotional state in a certain way affects the physical well-being of a person. And in order not topsychosomatic diseases appeared (diseases of the body provoked by the psychological state of a person), you need to learn how to manage your feelings and emotions. How not to take everything to heart?

A person can control not only the movements of the body, but also the train of thought. Therefore, the easiest way to remove the surging negative experience may be to answer the question of whether this will be important in a year. And after 5 years? Thus, a person can figure out how big this problem is for him.

How to get rid of negative experiences?

If everyday stress has already become a part of life, and, waking up in the morning, a person mentally prepares himself for the worst, you should seriously think about auto-training. This is the same way of self-hypnosis, self-tuning, only for the best. According to the principle "I am the most charming and attractive." Only in this case, you need to choose your own option - "everything is fine", "I am calm", "there is always a way out". Indeed, there is a way out of any situation. It’s just that he doesn’t always completely suit a person.

Another way to channel and control emotions is relaxation. She will show you how not to take problems to heart and stay in a good mood. Here everyone can choose the most pleasant way for themselves - meditation, listening to soothing music or sounds, breathing practices or yoga. Or all together. The main thing is regularity. Auto-training and relaxation are excellent alternativesmedical intervention, because they help to cope with the source of the problem - negative thinking, and not just "pacify" physiological reactions to stress, as sedatives do.

How to properly respond to the words of others?

So, how not to take words to heart? First of all, you need to learn a few important points that apply to both sides of the dialogue.

1. One of the paradoxical pieces of advice given by psychologists is the following: "Offended? So don't be offended!" This is not a backhanded answer, like "balconies fall on the offended" or "you need to take everything easier." There is another meaning here. The fact is that caustic remarks, unreasonable criticism are a manifestation of the personality traits of the offender himself. He may be poorly brought up, be in a bad mood, or try to throw responsibility for his failures onto another. This in no way concerns the personality of the one who is offended. Therefore, he should not take on this negativity. You need to show sympathy for this person and not hold a grudge against him.
2. It is also worth distinguishing for what purpose certain words of the interlocutor were said. For example, if the sarcastic jokes of others appeared in response to a person's story about a successful purchase, consider whether this is a manifestation of ordinary envy. You certainly shouldn't be offended by this.
3. It is important for a sensitive person how he looks in the eyes of others. So if they try to offend himpublicly, he should remind himself that in this situation it is not he who looks more unprofitable and stupid, but just the offender. It is not worth responding to rudeness with rudeness, but it is also not recommended to be silent. It is necessary to calmly and with dignity note the incorrectness of the opponent’s remark and not continue the conversation in such a manner and atmosphere.
4. You don't have to wait for the approval of all people. Especially the unfamiliar. A person who is learning how not to take everything personally, first of all, should take care of his own self-esteem. A self-confident person is able to independently evaluate his successes, he can encourage and criticize himself. He does not need an outside opinion for this. Even the praise of an outsider should be tried to be forgotten as quickly as possible, so that in the future you will not be guided in your actions by such approval. Self-development is the path to self-sufficiency.

Living a New Way: Useful Attitudes

In the list of tips on how not to take everything personally, there should be certain attitudes or habits of acting and thinking in stressful situations:

• Using jokes. A developed sense of humor often makes it possible to translate a brewing conflict into a joke. And a person who is able to laugh at himself discourages any desire to do this to others.
• The ability to distinguish between constructive and non-constructive criticism. The second has already been mentioned above, and the first should be perceived as an opportunity for one's own growth and development goals.
• Beforelearn not to take anything to heart, a person must analyze their own patterns of behavior. It happens that being offended is a way to attract attention, to cause guilt in another, manipulation. In this case, it is worth getting rid of the root cause - feelings of inferiority, which provokes resentment.
• Find an outlet for yourself (a place, a favorite activity), which will help to cope with negative experiences.

And finally

Every person is unique. And you should not try to fit this uniqueness into the generally accepted framework. Much more important is to learn how to use your strengths and work on your shortcomings.

If a person is sensitive, it does not mean that he should become more pragmatic. He should use this quality where others cannot, for example, in creativity. And work on confidence and the ability to stand up for yourself. It is in this case that a person will be able to find the long-awaited harmony with himself.