"Loneliness on the Web" - this is the name of Janusz Wisniewski's most famous best-selling novel about virtual relationships. Disposable dating, soul mate and love on the Internet today is looking for almost every second, if not the first. Who is lured by virtuality to build relationships, how to conduct a conversation correctly, and can a virtual romance turn into a real one? Let's talk today on a burning topic.
Love on the Web - what is it?
Information and technological progress has brought not only a huge number of conveniences and advantages, but also created new difficulties. One of them is a virtual relationship at a distance. For many, the usual correspondence with the opposite sex is nothing more than another fun that will pass by itself. For others, in particular girls, this is a chance to meet the same one. However, most often such relationships end in a broken heart and low self-esteem.
Virtual relationships usually take place in correspondence: people exchange messages on social networks, dating sites or chats. Especially brave potential lovers can communicate via Skype.
Often virtual communication replaces the real one. The person is gradually drawn into communication through the monitor. Therefore, the natural need to talk to someone disappears on its own.
Virtual love and relationships: what's the difference?
We all need love, we have an innate need to love and be loved. Moreover, this need is manifested in recognition, approval, respect and full acceptance. When a person is in love, he is happy, full and full of strength and energy. Therefore, if a person does not find love in real life, he looks for it on the Internet.
Virtual love and virtual relationships are almost the same concepts. Love on the Web is a far-fetched fact that is based on fantasy, imagination and the imagination of a partner. Moreover, these ideas may not correspond to a real person at all. Therefore, people often get upset when meeting a virtual partner in life. Thought does not match reality. Moreover, the fact of unjustified expectations is manifested from appearance to demeanor and character. For example, "Ugh, she's not as beautiful as in the picture" or "He turned out to be so unprepossessing."
Virtual relationship is the communication of people in which they do not see each other, do not touch and do not do anything towards each otherto friend. However, they conditionally consider themselves a couple. Reinforce their “love” with emoticons with kisses, compliments and wishes for “good morning” and “good night.”
Virtual love is some mind games. Playing at love, a person does not see, does not hear, does not understand what is happening around him, in real life. And he can talk about himself for days. It is not certain that what is told will be true.
Very rarely virtual lovers meet in reality.
Both virtual relationships and virtual love both start quickly and end quickly. Especially after a real meeting.
What are online virtual relationships?
Love on the Internet brings different emotions. Consider the main types of relationships on the Web, which are easily determined by the fact of correspondence:
- Random. Two people met by chance on the Web: they liked the photos on the profile picture, for example. Moreover, casual communication can smoothly retrain into “virtual love”. Communication is free, without a specific goal, but soon a person begins to realize that he has found his person. For example, goals in life, positions, feelings agreed. Sometimes a chance meeting on the Web ends not only with great love in reality, but also with marriage.
- Epistolary. The epistolary genre cannot be said to be outdated. It just changed its form a little: the letter turned into messages on the Internet. Previously, the epistolary genre was called a novel in letters. Today, almost nothing has changed. Usually married men resort to epistolary relations, women - less often. The reason is boring life, in particular family life. Such a "verbal" game usually proceeds with an exchange of pleasantries, flirting and ends. However, in rare cases, an epistolary novel can intertwine suffering, passion, and even an oath of eternal love. In both cases, epistolary love ends after realizing the meaninglessness of relationships on the Internet. Moreover, there is no need to start a relationship in reality.
- Emotional relationships arise because of the search for a partner with whom you can talk heart to heart and speak out. Chats, forums are an ideal platform for these purposes. This form of love is like talking on a train. Two strangers talk about painful things, and upon exiting the car they will never see each other again. So it is with the spiritual form of relationships. It usually doesn't get to the point of meeting in real life.
- Intimate relationships are formed on the Internet because of a person's sexual need. Moreover, the goal is to find a partner for self-satisfaction. Recently, this phenomenon has become widespread. People thus emotionally dilute their monotonous life without resorting to physical betrayal.
- Regular relationships on the Internet are dictated by one goal: to find a soul mate. When during correspondence people feel that they are approaching each other, then in reality the relationship continues. Moreover, such relationships often end in a wedding and a happy family life.
Virtual relationships: psychology
Building a relationship between a woman anda man implies certain principles. Virtual relationships are based on these foundations:
- feature of communication is formed on experience, temperament, upbringing and social environment;
- in psychology, the basis of communication between the opposite sex is equality, which gives the right to conduct a dialogue;
- the individuality of each person.
Why do people meet online? This phenomenon is rather a consequence of our modern life. Now many young people are passionate about building a career and making money. They work hard. Therefore, there is practically no time left for relaxation and acquaintances in the club, at parties, exhibitions or restaurants. Other people are often complex because of their far-fetched shortcomings, so they are afraid to meet someone in real life. They feel much bolder in their comfort zone: at home in front of the monitor.
On the Internet, anyone can become a superhero, a successful businessman, a top beauty or a model. These are the masks that you can try on, and you won't get anything for it. In fact, such people in life turn out to be cowardly, unsociable and notorious.
What is the danger?
Building love online can have its consequences. First of all, addiction. People are so passionate about the fact of correspondence that they are completely immersed in the virtual world. Moreover, without embarrassment, a person introduces himself as anyone, tells anything, without being responsible for the words.
The problem of online communicationconnected with the fact that people here find friends and love, hiding from loneliness in real life. However, problems in life are not solved in this way, but on the contrary, they are aggravated. It is more difficult for a person dependent on communication on the Internet to contact people in the future. Gradually, this habit becomes dull. It is quite difficult to get out of this web on your own. Many resort to the help of a psychologist.
Main Internet communication problems:
- Self-identification. A person chooses a certain role for himself, putting on a comfortable mask. At the same time, the far-fetched role gradually turns into a habit. Man loses his individuality.
- Dependence. Problems, complexes, failures - all these components lead a person to online communication. At the same time, in real life, they only get worse, and the desire to be “online” increases. In other words, a person is leaving, hiding from his real problems. You can compare this phenomenon to a debtor who hides from creditors because of debts.
- The habit of cheating. Yes, virtuality allows lies, embellishment of one's biography.
Gradually, lying becomes a habit and "migrate" to real life.
Why do men like virtual love?
The answer is more than specific: lack of communication in life. Why does a man need a virtual relationship? Many men say they hone the practice of flirting. Moreover, it is mainly married men who choose this method of consolidating skills.
At the psychological level, flirting in men's correspondence is notregarded as treason. For them, this is nothing more than entertainment, which can be compared with their favorite computer game Tanks.
According to statistics, about 26% of all men over the age of 30 choose virtual relationships. Many of them practice virtual sex and completely refuse to start relationships in reality.
Why do men love virtual relationships? Because there are no obligations. Taking responsibility is difficult. Men "save" themselves from the routine of family life. And on the Internet, they put on masks in turn: today - an insidious seducer, tomorrow - a snake-tempter. However, unfortunately, not a single mask coexists in reality with such a “masked” man.
Psychologists say that men like virtual communication because of the mystery. They like to think out the image of a girl, fill her with personal expectations and fantasies. In a kind of mental way, a man himself makes his ideal out of a woman by correspondence. This is the kind of woman he misses in real life.
However, more often than not, such relationships do not end with anything. It is difficult for a man to match his chosen “mask” in reality. Moreover, in life, meeting a girl is also often not enough courage.
Pros of relationships on the World Wide Web
Of course, not everything is as bad as it might seem. There are also significant advantages in virtual love:
- the ability to communicate without leaving home, in comfortable conditions;
- you can carefully consider the answer to a difficult question;
- an opportunity to show off your best side;
- conflict can be avoided;
- no need to dress up and think over the image for small things;
- you can meet different interesting people;
- you can share your problems.
Of course, everyone can expand this list.
Cons of virtual love
Not everything is so rosy. There are also significant disadvantages that can easily outshine the pros. So, the cons of building love online:
- fear of meeting and not being disappointed in real life after active correspondence;
- addiction appears;
- difficulty to match the far-fetched image that was shown to the interlocutor in the correspondence;
- attachment to a person, and when the virtual relationship is over, there is mental discomfort and suffering.
The main disadvantage of virtual love is the loss of the skill of "live" real communication.
Rules of online communication
Virtual relationships involve interesting communication. Without it, nowhere. So, to make contact, you need to follow these rules:
- Do not respond to banal messages with a smiley or "Hi". Reply to full length messages.
- Finding the sweet spot will help you answer questions correctly. For example, do not answer too briefly or too long. You can answer the question without starting “from the fifth kilometer” and telling the details of your biography. Otherwise, the interlocutor will become bored with you.
- Obsession repelswoman. Therefore, men, if a woman has not responded to the first two messages from you, it means that she does not want to communicate with you.
- If you really liked the interlocutor, then you should not write about your feelings in the first message. It's intimidating. It is not worth talking about intimate topics with an unfamiliar interlocutor if he did not initiate a discussion of this topic.
- Women love with their ears. The right compliment never hurt anyone. At the same time, you need to give a compliment unobtrusively, carefully, without flattery.
The main rule in virtual communication is to be sincere. Just the way you are!
Tips for guys
Banny messages like “Hello! How are you? What are you doing?" left in the past. It became "hackneyed". And in general: why should a girl answer an unfamiliar guy, how is she doing and what does she do?
A guy should be interested in a girl from the first sentence. So, some advice from psychologists:
- Be playful, optimistic and humorous.
- Don't text a girl.
- Show interest in her field of activity, hobby. She needs to feel that you are interested in her.
- Be a conversation starter.
- Keep up interesting topics of conversation.
- Communicate culturally and it won't take long for her to see your respect.
The main thing is respect. You can be culturally arrogant. The key word is "cultural".
Is it necessarygo from virtual to real?
It all depends on your moral readiness and the purpose of communication. Sometimes it's better not to move from the virtual world to the real one. However, if the desire to meet in life is mutual, then why should one resist? If your desires are not justified, then let it be a lesson. As the saying goes, it's better to do something and regret than not do something and regret it too.
Don't have high hopes for a meeting in reality. Often people become just good friends. Often the first meeting in life becomes the last. The interlocutor should not meet your expectations, just like you - his.
Virtual relationships are all experiences: good or bad depends on the situation. However, this experience is invaluable. It is better to meet in life with a person, to communicate. In this case, you can consider it. What if, indeed, this person is the one you have been looking for for so long?!
