Psychologists distinguish aggressive, passive and assertive behavior. What are their principles and characteristics, and which one is better?
Aggression and passivity
The activity of a passive person is limited by a framework that does not allow any initiative. This is an ideal performer who acts on command and never chooses on his own, and is usually not heard or seen. A person who adheres to an aggressive manner of behavior, on the contrary, is always in sight and in the center of events, that is, scandals. Accusing, insulting and intimidating, he persistently achieves his goals - satisfies his ambitions or simply causes moral damage to people he dislikes.
Manipulative behaviors
The aggressor may seem very active, but there is one caveat. Like a passive person, he is not responsible for anything: he only actively blames others for his problems. Thus, it is a clear manipulator. Passivity is also fraught with manipulation, because in the troubles of someone who does not decide anything himself, someone else is always to blame.
Assertive behavior
Aggression and passivity are two seeming opposites,but in reality it is the same thing. But people do not always manipulate their own kind. When they behave naturally, do not depend on external assessments and influences, act openly and are responsible for their actions, this is assertive behavior. Its name comes from the English verb assert - assert, defend one's rights.
Guidelines
A responsibility that an assertive person accepts. He acts of his own free will, and also understands that he has no right to blame other people for how he himself reacts to their behavior.
Self-respect and respect for others. These two things are directly related: a person who does not respect himself will not be respected by other people either.
Productive communication. It is defined by three qualities: truthfulness, openness and sincerity in expressing one's opinions, feelings and thoughts on any issue. Directness, however, has reasonable limits: you should not offend, upset or insult the interlocutor.
Self-confidence. It is based on the already mentioned self-respect, as well as on the knowledge of one's own merits, professional qualities and skills.
The desire to listen and understand the opponent. Assertive behavior means that a person knows how to listen and tries to understand someone else's point of view, and also recognizes its right to exist, even if it differs from his own.
Negotiations and compromises. This point follows from the previous one: although opinions on some issue may differ, it is necessary to agree in order toin order to live or work together comfortably, and it is necessary to take into account the interests of each of the parties involved.
Finding simple answers to complex questions. Manipulators, both passive and aggressive, like to confuse everything and put a shadow on the fence. In contrast, the assertive person does not complicate things where possible.
