Some people do not attach importance to their actions, however, the constant optionality makes a person absolutely unreliable in the eyes of others. And especially close people. If you throw empty promises, without intending to fulfill them, then soon such behavior will definitely turn against a person. "Optional" is the softest epithet that those around him will describe.
What could be the exception?
Of course, psychologists sometimes advise using this method in order to get rid of constant, too intrusive requests. Over time, this result begins to act, and the number of people who want to get the right “for free” is significantly reduced. The only catch is that such an optionality is fraught with much more negative aspects than positive ones. More on that later.
So, an optional person can't keep his word, what to do?
Whatforms the learned quality
First of all, failure to fulfill obligations entails a complete lack of responsibility. Non-obligation flourishes in the person who lacks the mechanism of responsibility for not fulfilling his own promises. This attitude towards promises is formed not as a result of forgetfulness or absent-mindedness, but as a result of the belief that this forgetfulness can easily get away with it.
What does an optional person mean
First of all, this is a disrespectful attitude towards people, unwillingness or inability to think about others. A synonym can be the phrase "irresponsible person". This is selfishness, and such people are usually concerned with the realization of only their desires and intentions, but the rest are left behind. It doesn't matter if it's a friend or close relative. In this game, vested self-interest will always hold the upper hand. Often we can talk about optionality as a consequence of impulsiveness. This means that a person easily gives in to his mood. He can throw promises right and left and be firmly convinced that it will be so. Only then, these impulsive actions are replaced by awareness of the realities of life. This is where the non-obligation in a person appears. Also, this quality is used by people as a method of getting rid of indecision. Here you promised everyone around and you grow up sharply in your own eyes. But it is only at the moment of distribution of promises that we seem to ourselves omnipotent and confident. And then what? It all falls apart like fluff. Then there is only emptiness and a lot of promises. Also appliesthis is punctuality.
Negative Consequences
Before making empty promises, remember the following disadvantages of optionality:
- A few broken promises and the trust of your friends and loved ones will decrease. Colleagues will begin to resent, friends may turn away altogether, and relatives will hold a grudge.
- In the circle of acquaintances, the opinion will be fixed that you are a frivolous person who cannot be trusted, and even more so, to entrust an important matter.
- Incompetence ruins even the he althiest and strongest relationships. After all, where is there without quarrels and negative emotions? Hence, there is an absolute unwillingness to continue to maintain contact with such a person.
- In work, this is completely negative behavior. After all, optionality and irresponsibility are quite a good reason to refuse to work with you. Lost clients, lack of prospects, decrease in earnings - all this, as a result, will lead to the fact that the business will begin to fade, and you will definitely not wait for a promotion at work.
- Unwillingness to fulfill this promise leads to the fact that a person begins to hide, avoid those to whom he gave the word. As a result, the contemptuous attitude of others.
- And, of course, you can forget about your authority forever.
And this is just a general list, these consequences can lead to more serious, psychological problems. And here already punctuality is the second thing. Changes in consciousness begin, new habits are formed, most often harmful. The longer this goes onthe more difficult it is to say goodbye to all this in the future.
What's going on in your head?
Over time, there are also internal problems. The studied quality harms not only others, but also the most optional person who likes to throw promises:
- The more you throw words to the wind, the faster it will become a habit, and it will already leave its mark on your character. Over time, such a person becomes optional in relation to himself. Deeds and decisions are postponed until later, and this "later" never comes. With this mindset, it is very difficult to achieve really meaningful goals.
- Another result is a lack of self-confidence. Over time, a person begins to doubt his abilities and fears the right job.
- As a result, despondency, apathy, a sense of inferiority become faithful companions in life.
- Self-respect drops to zero.
- Over time, optional people are constantly not in the best mood. All because unfulfilled promises are a heavy burden on the heart and constantly remind of themselves.
Think a thousand times, do you need this?
How to overcome the optionality in yourself
It is very difficult to get rid of a habit that has been developed over the years, you will have to be patient and have an incredible desire to do whatever it takes. Everything is determined by the forces of inertia and people in this matter are no exception. Fortunately, this law canturn to your advantage. But only gradually, stage by stage, you can develop a different attitude towards your own promises and become a person who deserves the trust of others.
Advice from psychologists
So where to start:
- Can't say no? It's time to learn. Many people are simply afraid to refuse a request, so as not to cause negative emotions about themselves in other people. And only left with one on one, comes the realization that you don’t want to do what you have already promised. This is where you have to dodge, postpone, avoid meetings and not pick up the phone when it comes to fulfilling obligations. Not the best behavior. This way, being friendless is much easier than simply saying no.
- Before you promise to fulfill this or that request, it is better to make sure that you can do it. By refusing right away, you will make life easier for the one who asked, because you can safely look for other opportunities to complete the task. A good no is much better than a bad yes.
- The main sign of optionality is the word "later". If you have already promised, immediately decide when the assignment should be completed. The habit of postponing will not lead to good things. Illusions “I’ll definitely do everything tomorrow” do not work. Tomorrow never comes. Remember, the best time to act is here and now. Make life easier for yourself, the faster you fulfill the promise, the faster you can get rid of the burden on your shoulders.
- Chop at the root of all attempts to fulfill someone else'srequest later. Set aside some time in the coming days and just get to work, no excuses. Believe me, the feeling of relief when everything is over is better than any praise. This way you will definitely become the master of your word.
Optional is a common cause of quarrels and omissions.
What is the result?
How many good relationships have been ruined by irresponsibility, and what can we say about a ruined career? It is better to be patient and develop a new good habit. Keep your word firmly so that you will not only be a respected person among people, but, first of all, respect yourself.
