Mikhail Efimovich Litvak - candidate of medical sciences and a well-known psychotherapist, conducted research in purposeful modeling of emotions, intellectual nirvana, oratory to develop methods for overcoming controversial and conflict situations in the family and at work. "Psychological Aikido" is also one of the techniques he developed, successfully implemented in the practice of counseling families, administrators, businessmen and leaders.
Psychological Aikido Method
In controversial situations, when it is necessary to show common sense and peace of mind, when it is necessary to convince the "enemy" and make sure that he does not feel offended, but voluntarily follows your position, the tactics of "psychological aikido" works especially effectively.
Aikido fighter falls in the direction in which he is pushed by the opponent. At the same time, he carries the opponent with him, a little energy - and he is already at the top, using the strength of hisenemy. The principle of psychological aikido is based on the same - on depreciation, but only in communication. If you were pushed from a height, that is, a fall was imposed, then initially you will absorb, trying to pay off the consequences of the push, and only then get back on your feet.
Fundamentals of Psychological Aikido
Psychological aikido is the most flexible and effective tactic for resolving disputes and conflict situations. Especially if the opponent is actively resisting. Before attacking the enemy, it is necessary to extinguish his resistance, that is, to remove his desire to object and prove. You need to win him over, make him accepting and understanding, and only then you can begin to convince him. So says the psychotherapist Litvak. "Psychological Aikido" is based on clear and fast persuasion with valid arguments. It's great if you use metaphors and truisms in your objections. Your speech should be beautiful and long. Various deceitful moves and tricks should be cleverly concealed. The opponent's position must be destroyed flexibly and technically, smoothly moving on to your offer.
That is, psychological aikido does not imply a complete denial of the opponent's position, initially you support it and only then move on to your weighty arguments. As a result, you will not only win over the enemy, but also strengthen your relationship with him. This is another conclusion made by the psychotherapist Litvak M. E. "Psychological Aikido" excludesthe emergence of conflicts, tension and irritation in communication.
At work and at home, situations often arise when conflicts develop according to one scenario, and you can predict in advance how your partner will behave in this or that case. This knowledge can also be used in the method of "psychological aikido" for preventive depreciation. Carnegie voiced this technique as follows: “Tell yourself what your accuser was about to say, and you will deprive him of the sail of the wind!” Carry out preventive depreciation at work. To do this, it is enough to come to the boss and tell him about your mistakes, without waiting for his criticism.
