"I don't want to get married and have children," say girls who prefer freedom. But the line between peace and longing is so thin that these two sensations can endlessly balance, replacing each other. A woman comes up with many reasons for herself, justifying her independence. And this is her sincere idea of happiness. But there comes a time when loneliness becomes unbearable, and thoughts about the family and the child are frequent guests in the head of the fair sex.
The power of equality
Some women say, "I don't want to get married and have kids, and that's okay in my idea of happiness." It is difficult to disagree with them, since every person has the right to build his life the way he wants. A century has already passed since equality between the sexes became a habitual way of life. So whymen can afford to remain single until old age, but women are forbidden? There are no arguments to refute such a point of view if a woman constantly feels comfortable. But if even the slightest doubt arises in her soul, there is reason to think about her future and reconsider her views on life.
The main motives that encourage a woman to be alone
When a woman declares: “I don’t want to get married and have children,” she has strong evidence for this for herself and those around her. There are several main reasons why a girl avoids a serious relationship:
- unwillingness to infringe on one's personal interests;
- career and position in society are priority over family;
- material independence.
All these aspects far exceed family well-being in the eyes of a girl. Very often, the fair sex makes such conclusions after a serious relationship with men. Comparing life before and after them, the woman is even more established in her positions.
Reasons why girls prefer to stay single
"I don't want to get married and have children," that's what women say with good reason. This conclusion can be reached by a number of the following circumstances:
- Career. Many of the fair sex devote their entire lives to a career and do not want to sacrifice it under any circumstances.
- Waiting. Many girls are soobsessed with the dream of meeting their ideal man, that they are not ready to give up their principles even after decades of searching.
- Complexes. This is an attitude in which a girl deliberately dooms herself to an unhappy family life (they won’t be able to sincerely love me, they will deceive me, betray me).
- Rebel. Girls do not want to obey anyone and make compromises, they ignore all the arguments and arguments of friends and relatives.
- Divorce. Women who have passed this stage and do not allow a similar situation to happen again.
- Freedom. For these women, marriage is associated with a prison that will deprive them of their freedom of action.
- Fear. Some ladies are afraid that after registering a relationship, the sharpness of feelings will disappear and romance will disappear, but they do not agree to everyday life.
- Pedophobia. This is a fear of babies, during the bearing of which the figure deteriorates, and after birth, the opportunity to pay enough attention to their appearance disappears.
- Victim. This is a category of ladies who are used to living for the sake of others. They raise brothers and sisters, nephews, children of girlfriends and devote their whole lives to them, forgetting about personal happiness.
Pros of living alone
The question of why girls don't want to get married and have kids is obvious when you look at the benefits of a free life. These include:
- having a huge amount of free time;
- a constant opportunity to look after your appearance;
- lack of household obligations;
- uncontrollable time;
- the opportunity to communicate with other men;
- career building;
- the possibility of unlimited communication with friends and relatives;
- material independence.
Cons of being single
The state when “I want to do whatever I want” is no longer happy, when evenings and nights of loneliness appear, they seem endless. Weekends and holidays are no longer encouraging, one hope for a vacation. There are other negative sides of freedom and independence:
- there is a state of uselessness;
- woman often falls into despair;
- melancholy and depression appear;
- neuroses arise;
- he alth is deteriorating;
- the meaning of life is lost;
- no moral and material support;
- no regular sex life;
- there is no hormone of happiness (life ceases to please);
- there is fear of the future.
Danger of being alone
The situation where "I want to do whatever I want" becomes dangerous if such a desire takes root over the years. A woman gets used to loneliness and ceases to feel the need for a man. As long as she has parents and relatives, loneliness is not a problem. But after a while they will be gone, and the woman will remain absolutely helpless. She is not used to communicating with men and building relationships, so her chances of doing this in old age have a minimal positive percentage. A lonely woman can be stalkedsuch dangers:
- Any breakdown in an apartment or a business that requires male power is impossible to perform. And calling experts on every little thing is problematic.
- Everyone I know has families of their own, and no one is interested in spending time with a single woman. It is worth preparing for the fact that loneliness will become a constant norm of life both on weekdays and on holidays.
- Lack of regular sex life will provoke the development of chronic diseases.
- Material difficulties are possible, in which no one will come to the rescue.
- The risk of falling into the hands of swindlers for a single woman is very high.
Myths about marriage
Many girls come to the conclusion: "I don't want to get married and have children." 30 years is considered a great age for a man, because at this time he has a huge selection of potential brides. A thirty-year-old woman is already considered an old maid, and her chances of a happy marriage are drastically reduced. It is these myths that are the reason for girls to draw erroneous conclusions and lose hope for well-being in their personal lives. There are other misconceptions:
- 30 years is a turning point, after which only defective girls remain unclaimed. This is a delusion, because the rhythm of life has accelerated significantly. At this age, in many countries, women are just beginning to think about their personal lives. Our country is no exception.
- After 30 it is difficult to endure and give birth to a he althy child. Modern scientists have determined the optimal age for childbirth - this is 34 years old, at which time mom and baby will be at their maximumready to meet.
- After thirty, it is difficult for a woman to find a worthy gentleman, since everyone is already married. Many young men prefer to marry adult serious women, rather than infantile young girls who are not yet ready for family life.
- Men prefer young blondes. This is a myth, since the average statistical age of women entering into marriage is 30 years old. Hair color doesn't matter.
Stereotypes
Stereotypes about marriage have firmly entered the lives of women. It is they who do not allow the fair sex to feel happy. Among them are the following misconceptions:
- Do like everyone else. This does not correspond to today's time at all, since living according to a pattern, limiting oneself in desires or forcing one to do what one does not want, slows down development and stops progress.
- Marry early as beauty fades. Family life has nothing to do with fading beauty. A woman needs to be he althy, neat and well-groomed, this is a guarantee of attractiveness.
- To get married by convenience. This is a personal matter for every girl, since you can be happy both in love and in material well-being (it is better when these two aspects are combined).
- You have to give birth to keep a guy. This is misleading because children are never the bonding element of a marriage. Even with children, people get divorced, and childless families often feel very happy.
Does a woman need a family?
Before you say: “I don’t want to get married and have children”, you need to try to figure out if this is really so. In order to remedy the situation, it is recommended to take three steps:
- Analyze the situation in your family. Try to understand how the parents lived, whether this family was full and happy, and what was the reason for the girl to refuse to enter into a serious relationship.
- Voice the attitude that has been formulated in the head since childhood. For example: “A man is a burden because he requires increased attention and can betray at any moment.” Such an attitude is considered wrong, it is based on resentment and the sad experience of parents. It is necessary to try not to extend it to other men and reformulate in a positive direction.
- Find successful examples of happy families. See what advantages women have from communicating with their husband and children, how pleasant it is for them to enjoy each other's company and rejoice at the success of the kids.
Reasons why women don't want to have children
Often girls have a question what to do if you don't want children. They are trying to figure out: perhaps something is wrong with them, because there are so many examples of happy mothers. Do not be afraid of such a worldview, you need to understand the reasons for its occurrence. They are as follows:
- lack of morale;
- appearance of huge responsibility;
- lack of material base for a decentupbringing and maintenance of the child;
- lack of a decent man nearby;
- dramatic lifestyle change;
- fear of pregnancy and childbirth;
- fear of changing appearance before and after childbirth;
- impossibility of building a career.
It is worth noting that the expression “I don’t want to get married and have children” always comes from the lips of women who have not yet found their true love. All reasoning about this will be irrelevant when the man of your dreams appears nearby. Fears and fears will disappear, priorities will change. Therefore, do not waste time on long reflections, but quickly go in search of your soulmate.
