Limiting mental attitudes almost never work. They destroy human life, preventing them from taking full advantage of all its possibilities. Therefore, to fight them is the task of everyone who would like to be happy.
How are negative attitudes formed?
To explore the concept of limiting beliefs in detail, we must first define what limiting beliefs actually are. A person's firm confidence in something is the rule of life for a person. She does not doubt it and, according to it, performs certain actions. The theory of limiting beliefs says that an attitude can be passed on from parents, or from those people whose opinion is important. A person follows this thesis without subjecting it to critical evaluation. In addition, he can create his own belief based on everyday experience, and follow such a concept already consciously.
When is it a limiting belief? Every moral principlespeaks of a certain experience of a person and serves as a guide for him in the whirlpool of life events. At one moment it can be useful, save him from trouble. But time passes, the situation changes, and the old belief is no longer valid, it loses its relevance. Moreover, it begins to slow down the further development of the individual, negatively affect his psychological, physical and material well-being.
On the negative nature of material possessions
A common example of a limited belief is "Money is evil." It used to be useful. For example, in the difficult years of the revolutionary past, when it was life-threatening to be a rich person, and following such a principle could literally become saving for a person. This belief was then passed on from parents to children, from generation to generation. Throughout Soviet history, it coincided with the principles of survival accepted in society.
But then came another historical era - the time of the market economy. And here this limiting belief no longer helped a person, but prevented him from surviving. The presence of material we alth and money began to mean the possibility of obtaining education, quality medical services and other benefits. An outdated moral principle came into conflict with reality and began to limit a person in his abilities.
Is poverty a shame?
Another example of limited belief related to finances. It sounds like this: "It's a shame to be poor." But in reality this idea is far from the truth. A person should be ashamed of those actions or words that harm other people or offend them in any way.
If the individual does nothing wrong, and his whole trouble is that he cannot make ends meet in adverse economic conditions, then there is absolutely no guilt and no reason to be ashamed.
If there is such a limiting belief, it is imperative to fight against it, as it lowers self-esteem. Thus, this destructive principle further deprives a person of the opportunity to believe in himself and improve his financial condition. Those who are not ashamed of themselves in any circumstances - neither in poverty nor in we alth, overcome life's difficulties faster and more efficiently, because they do not consider the lack of livelihood to be something shameful.
Other destructive money attitudes
The list of limiting financial beliefs goes on:
- "Only criminals drive expensive cars."
- "All rich people are just very lucky."
- "Money brings nothing but misfortune."
- "Money is never enough."
- "There were no we althy people in our family, so I will always be poor."
- "Financial security can only be achieved by a person who has a good start - inheritance from parents, useful connections, sponsorship of the rich."
- "To earn large sums, you need to work from morning to night, seven days a week."
Common female misconception
The limiting beliefs in our heads are associated with a wide variety of areas of life. And many of these destructive ideas have to do with personal life. One of the common negative beliefs inherent in women is this: “Men cannot be trusted under any circumstances. They only want one thing from women.”
Once, in a certain historical period of time, such a concept could be viable. The woman who adhered to it in her life could avoid unnecessary extramarital affairs, unwanted pregnancies, condemnation from her family and society. With his guidance, she could successfully marry and maintain her reputation.
But as for the modern lady, who lives in times of a different social order and affordable contraception, such a belief can make it difficult to look at members of the opposite sex without prejudice. Guided by this idea, a woman dooms herself to loneliness with her own hands. This is how this belief becomes limiting.
Other negative love attitudes
Other common limiting love beliefs that prevent you from being happy are:
"All men (women) are bad people." In this definition, various impartial words are often inserted into the address of the opposite sex. Women who think so, and in reality, only unworthy men come across on the path of life. In all relationships with them, the same sad story is repeated - exactly untiluntil they realize the need to let go of limiting beliefs
If a man adheres to such an attitude, then this also negatively affects his personal happiness. Usually, for the stronger sex, such an attitude looks like “All women are mercantile, they only need money from men.” If such an attitude extends to a certain part of the population, it is foolish to judge one hundred percent of all women by it. The presence of such an idea leads to the fact that on his way a man meets exactly such ladies who are not averse to using his wallet.
- "I am not worthy of happiness and love." Girls who have such an idea in their heads sincerely dream of happiness in their personal lives. But what happens to them when they meet their chosen one? This belief begins to prevent them from building meaningful relationships. Such ladies constantly begin to worry and worry about something, they torment their partner with suspicions because of their uncertainty about the sincerity of the feelings of the chosen one. Often men break off relations with these girls on their own initiative. But even while the relationship lasts, there is no particular joy in them, but only clarifications and scandals.
- "In today's world there is no place for romance and sincerity." Perhaps in our reality there is no place for the romance of the past. But people still experience feelings of delight, love and inspiration. And modern romance is no worse than the past.
Destructive Career Ideas
The following list of limiting beliefsdirectly related to education and professional life:
- “Only a higher education guarantees a highly paid position. And I don’t have one, which means I’ll never find a good job.”
- "Only true professionals can do anything. Therefore, I need to complete three higher educations and defend my doctoral dissertation before starting practical work.
- "You can't upset your family. Therefore, I must go to study in the very institution they insist on.”
- “You can only try new things when you are young. And at 30 (40, 50, 60) - it's too late. Nobody needs old people anywhere.”
About myself and about life
The following examples of limiting beliefs in our heads relate to life in general and to ourselves.
- "I've been born this way. I can’t help myself.”
- “Beauty standards are 90 x 60 x 90. I don’t meet them, so I will always be miserable.”
- "Everyone is selfish and thinks only of himself."
- "This is how the world works. Some get everything, others get nothing.”
- "A man comes into this world to carry his cross (to atone for sins, to suffer)".
- "Life is all about running in circles."
Negative attitudes that parents instill in children
It often happens that already quite an adult person suffers from negative beliefs that affect his life from an early age. limiting beliefs inour head, which were instilled in the early years, are the most persistent. After all, a person has been guided by them for decades, and during this time they are firmly rooted in the unconscious. Examples of such settings are:
- "If you are naughty, no one will hang out with you."
- "Woe is my onion…".
- "Here's a fool, ready to give away everything…".
- "You are exactly like your father (your mother)."
Get rid of destructive ideas
Depending on how severe negative attitudes are, a person is gradually forced to face their destructive consequences in life. He is content with the little that he has, does not have the opportunity to develop further. The question naturally arises: how to remove limiting beliefs and make them stop spoiling life?
The first thing to learn to do is to notice the arising of destructive thoughts. Whenever the idea “I can’t” comes to mind, you need to be aware that it is the flip side of the positive “I can” mindset.
It is necessary every time to imagine the opposite of what the negative idea wants to impose. It is always necessary to understand that a person has a free choice and he should not allow negativity to gain power over him. Dealing with limiting beliefs is often very time consuming. It takes some people years to cope with the destructive attitudes that have been with them since childhood and adolescence.years.
When another negative thought comes to mind, it should be challenged. To do this, it is useful to ask yourself a few questions:
- Why should things be this way and not otherwise?
- Who said I can't achieve my goal? Is this someone I knew as a child, adolescence, or later in life?
- What positive belief can I replace this idea with?
Replay the situation
Sometimes it is useful to mentally return to the past, once again scroll through the memory of the circumstances that provoked the emergence of a negative belief. For example, if parents called rich people “hucksters,” you can mentally add your own opinion to this criticism: “My father considered all rich people to be scammers, but in reality they are not. There are many among them who were able to achieve success through their own efforts.”
Or: “My mother thought all men are cheaters, but in reality things are different - she just got unlucky with it. This does not mean that the same fate awaits me. On the contrary, I will be able to use the wisdom of my mother and not repeat the mistakes that she made.”
Find confirmation of negative attitude - is it real?
To get rid of a destructive belief, it is helpful to try to find objective evidence to support it. For example, confirmation that only losers make mistakes will be the fact that there is not a single successful person who has not made a mistake at least once. Similarly, nowhere can you get an official certificate thaton the whole planet Earth, absolutely all men are deceivers.
Importance of visualization
Since getting rid of limiting beliefs means, first of all, reprogramming the subconscious, in this case, you cannot do without working with images. The fact is that the unconscious of a person operates precisely with visual symbols. Logical arguments are often powerless before him.
Therefore, in order to achieve the eradication of a negative belief, one should resort to positive visualization as often as possible. Once the thoughts that make you feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable have been identified, the next step is to let them go and begin to visualize what you want.
NLP way: "Meta-Yes" and "Meta-No"
This simple technology allows you to change negative beliefs into positive ones. It is performed as follows:
- Identify a limiting belief to get rid of. Rate its intensity on a scale of 1 to 10.
- Represent his physical image (in the form of a scroll, a poster with a slogan, an item with an inscription).
- Then it is necessary to define any thing in relation to which only a firm "no" will be said. For example, an offer to sell your immortal soul to dark forces.
- Then you should practice your skill to say this firm refusal ("Meta-No"). Words should be pronounced confidently, but without shouting and unnecessary emotions.
- Then mentally turn to the destructive belief and start itdrive away by saying "Meta-No". This must be done until the image of this belief in the imagination is somewhere far beyond the horizon.
- After that, you need to imagine a situation or a person to whom a firm “Yes” will always be said (to a child, a relative, a nice gift).
- Imagine that somewhere beyond the horizon a positive belief has already begun to form. Your Meta-Da needs to start "baiting" this positive mindset to get closer.
- When it approaches, you should determine the place in your physical body (it does not have to be the head) where you would like to place a positive belief, and gladly “put” it there.
- After that, an assessment is made, checking how many points on a scale from 1 to 10 the old belief is relevant. If something is not to your liking, or the persuasion is still too strong, repeat steps 5 to 8.
By regularly talking to yourself in a positive way and imagining the desired (rather than alarming) outcome of events, a person gradually gets rid of the destructive attitudes in his head. This process takes a lot of courage and time. But its result is a happy and fulfilling life.
