One has only to observe one's emotions for a little while, and a clear thought comes: they are often too volatile. Today I want, tomorrow I don't. I like it, but now I'm sick of the sight. And all this for no reason. Or rather, we think so. And this confirms such a thing as jet formation.
Concept
Reaction formation in psychology is a hypertrophied, excessive reaction to a subconscious prohibition. It is expressed in a deliberately vivid manifestation of the opposite feeling. Even the very name "reactive" indicates the main definition (due to the reaction). That is, for such a phenomenon, two or more components are necessary. As a rule, this is a subconscious barrier and a thought in conflict with it.
A bit of theory
Here it is necessary to say about the ambivalent (dual) nature of our emotions. This means that being under the influence of more or less strongfeelings, we experience two poles, two extremes at the same time. One of them we just do not realize. This, however, will not prevent us, in which case, to quickly switch to it.
To begin with, let's determine that we are much more influenced by the words of a loved one than from an outsider. It is obvious. The usual "thank you" from a loved one warms the soul much more than a thankful tirade from a homeless person for whom we poured a handful of change.
This also works in reverse. As paradoxical as it sounds, but, according to the principle of ambivalence, the more we love a person, the more we hate him. If the same homeless person sends you to hell, you will not be very upset, it will just be unpleasant. After all, this is a complete stranger to you. However, it is worth doing the same to a loved one - the reaction will be much sharper, even unpredictable.
Logically, you hate your loved ones more than street alcoholics. Yes, logic is such a thing, sometimes it can make you very angry. In fact, it's all about the duality of emotions. As love develops, "potential" hatred also increases. The more we rejoice today, the more likely there will be melancholy tomorrow. In neglected situations, such ambivalence is permanent (constant change of extreme moods) and is one of the signs of schizophrenia.
Working principle
The prerequisites for such behavior are laid at an early age and are expressed as stereotypic althinking. That is, a person has a certain rigid (hard, unyielding) attitude in his head. Anything can serve as its source: the words of parents, moralizing at school, certain social stereotypes, etc. In itself, it is not dangerous and is not something exceptional; each of us carries the stereotypes of our environment.
But we know that conflict requires two sides, which means that reaction formation begins with the intervention of outside thought. Moreover, this "violator of boundaries" should directly contradict the stereotype that has become ossified in thinking.
And then everything is like in chemistry: two substances are mixed and a reaction occurs. A desired thought comes into conflict with a rigid stereotype, which does not allow it to be realized. At this stage, reactive formation occurs. Not having access to what it wants, the emotion directs all its power in the opposite direction. It turns out an absolutely opposite feeling, equal in strength to the original one.
The strength of the reaction directly depends on the concentration of each element. If a strong, established stereotype collides with a strong thought and a strong desire, then the reaction will not keep you waiting, hitting with overwhelming force. In this case, the main driving mechanism of reactive formation will be its unconsciousness. That is, a person will believe in the sincerity of his feelings, not assuming that this is only a product of an internal prohibition.
Psychological protection
The main function of reactive education is psychological protection. And from whomprotection, you ask? Well, of course, from myself. Our own stereotypes build terrible theories of developments. We believe them, of course. In fact, we ourselves are just a set of stereotypes.
And to prevent this dreadful future from coming, we need to cut off some thought paths. As if we put prohibition signs on the road: “Kindness and affection is a manifestation of weakness”, “If you give up, they will laugh and disgrace you”, “If they find out that you do not have enough money for fashionable repairs, they will brand you a beggar for life”, “If you don’t against gays - you yourself are gay and stuff like that. Such stereotypes block many feelings, turning them into opposites: excessive hardness, inadmissible extravagance or bright aggression.
But if you decide to overcome such thinking in yourself, well, it remains only to wish you good luck in this unambiguously difficult task. True, often such a struggle turns into a battle with windmills. The environment has the strongest influence on everyone, whether they like it or not.
Example
Let's consider a vivid example of reactive education in relationships. A man loves one woman very much, and this feeling breaks into his consciousness, knocking everything in its path with a joyful gait. A man wants to talk about his love every day. But here a stereotype gets in the way of a beautiful feeling. He seems to be saying: “What are you doing? You can’t show your feelings like that, it’s not like a man.witches! . And since the stereotype is too strong a thing to simply step over, the man gives in. But this storm of emotions needs to be directed somewhere, otherwise the head may simply burst (this is unverified information). Then the love relationship switches to hostile.
Family
So much has been said above about the influence of the environment on a person. The environment, of course, strongly influences the nature of thinking, but do not forget that the main factor is the family. The child "adopts" the actions of his parents. They will always stay with him for the rest of his life. Therefore, it is impossible to underestimate the responsibility of such a thing as education.
Very often reactive education occurs at school at the first sign of sympathy for the opposite sex. For example, a boy liked a girl, and he seems to enter into a dialogue with his own stereotypes:
- Maybe go give her flowers?
- What are you doing? Have you ever seen your dad treat your mom like this?
- No, but I want to attract attention… Maybe hit her on the head with a briefcase?
- This is a good idea!
And no matter how later you explain to the boy that courtship is a little different, the model of behavior in the family will remain at the highest level. Of course, he will not soon realize the duality of his feelings, but for now he will be sure that all girls are fools, for him this is now an axiom.
