How to hold back tears when you want to cry: advice from psychologists

2024 Author: Miguel Ramacey | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 06:11

Tears refer to uncontrolled physiological reactions to traumatic stressful situations, whether it be pain, resentment or sudden joy. It is very difficult to force yourself to stop crying when the stress mechanics are already running, but you can learn to control your thoughts by artificially reducing the intensity of experiences by suppressing their importance. So is it possible to hold back tears when it is completely inappropriate, and what to do with pathological tearfulness?

Why do people cry?

You can talk about pathological tearfulness when a person reacts with tears to most episodes of strong emotional overstrain. No tear suppression techniques will help here - it is necessary to work with a psychologist who will work with the root cause of stress, which lies in the patient's childhood or acquired later.

Children cry when they don't understand thathappens, or when they lack personal experience to assess the situation. Having matured, a person begins to filter emotions in order of importance, focusing on the acquired skills. The strongest emotions require mandatory discharge, otherwise the individual risks bringing himself to a nervous breakdown.

Some people need to cry immediately upon receiving stressful information, and this reaction is called "immediate" - it is the hardest to deal with and it is best to let it manifest itself and clear the mind of negativity.

Another kind of reaction is called "delayed", and it can be observed in introverts who are used to not flaunt their feelings. Often these people do not allow themselves to relax and immerse themselves in emotions for a long time, but there comes a moment when stress accumulates and a person begins to cry, seemingly for no particular reason.

How to hold back tears of resentment?

People perceive criticism differently, and for some, even a sensible remark, said in passing, can unsettle and make you burst into tears. It's good when, having felt a lump in the throat, a person can hide from everyone and cry to his heart's content, but most often this is impossible.

There are several effective ways to hold back tears from resentment when talking:

• Switch to your breath - take a few deep breaths in and out, focusing only on these sensations.
• It hurts to pinch yourself, prick yourself with a pin, bite your tongue - that is, to distract yourself from psychological experiences in favor ofphysiological.
• Slowly scroll through the recipe of some dish in your mind, mentally recite a verse, remember three phone numbers of friends.

How to hold back tears in public? If possible, it is advisable to drink a glass of water in small, measured sips. A good option to keep calm is to shift your attention to some object with a lot of small details. While the nervous person will consider the subject, all his excitement will subside.

How to hold back tears of pain?

Even people with a high pain threshold sometimes have to cry from physical suffering, but not everyone is ready to put up with such a reaction of their body. How to hold back tears when you feel like crying?

You can try to quietly do a few exercises that block tearing:

• open your eyes as wide as possible and count to 10 without blinking;
• raise your eyebrows to the limit and hold out for 7-10 seconds;
• holding your head straight, look up, as if you need to make out something hanging over the top of your head.

When the pain begins to recede, it is necessary to completely relax the upper part of the face and open and close the mouth wide 3-4 times, as if pronouncing the letter "A".

Wedge with a wedge

In moments of deep stress, when tears are constantly welling up in your eyes and nothing is going well, you don’t need to forcibly evoke positive emotions in yourself, but it’s better to do the opposite - accept your sadness and let it dissolve on its own. Funny comedies and joyful musicwill serve as a reminder that while everything is bad here, someone is doing very well, and such thoughts will only add to the negative. How to hold back tears?

Philosophical life films and songs about unrequited love, sounding from headphones - this is the best way to reset yourself and get over grief in a short time. You can even make yourself a separate playlist of "music for depression" and include it in especially bleak moments - then the return to normal life will take less time.

Exit is on the move

How to hold back tears in secret from loved ones? The smartest women, in order not to burst into tears and wallow in self-pity, start cleaning. Active physical actions do not take away the opportunity to reflect on the situation, but they deprive stress of its main weapon - the lack of dynamics of events.

Being on the move, the human body intensely stimulates the production of estrogen hormones (androgens in men) and endorphins, which are responsible for increasing stress resistance and reducing anxiety. It has been proven that after 10 minutes of active cleaning (or after 5 minutes of exercising in the gym), a person not only calms down, but is already ready to make decisions that can alleviate his situation.

Q&A

According to psychologists, one of the most common causes of uncontrollable tearfulness in an adult lies in his inability to take responsibility for his own life. The emotional beam emanating from such a person is constantly directed towardsother people, catching any changes in their behavior and mood.

Such dependence on someone else's opinion gives many reasons for crying or depression - someone was rude, left at the wrong time, forgot to call, and now a person who does not have his own personal emotional settings is completely disoriented and ready to give up.

Correction of such a psychological disorder as tearfulness can take place without the help of a specialist, but it should always begin with the same questions asked to yourself: “What is my significance in my life? What controls my feelings and actions? Who controls me? By sincerely answering questions, a person will have to admit that his role in his own destiny is very insignificant, and if this is not corrected, there will only be more reasons for tears.

Mood of Mind

How to be calm and remain a benevolent person, if there is only negativity and turmoil around? Most home-work people think this way and see environmental pressures as the reason for their altered behavior. In fact, this is the same irresponsibility syndrome, but more generalized.

"I don't have time to take care of my appearance, I have small children," says the woman, justifying her tears over her friend's luxurious appearance. If we admit the fact that a friend also has children, but at the same time she can afford to attract attention, then another reason for tears will turn into a powerful incentive to fight her own laziness. However, to recognizeonly a few are capable of this, because working on oneself involves getting out of a comfortable state, but tears fit perfectly into the usual scheme of everyday life.

The right mental attitude, along with the development of responsibility, can turn a person's idea of himself, make him believe in his strengths and capabilities. Psychologists advise, when a person feels tears coming, provoked by feelings of hopelessness, envy or fatigue, to repeat the affirmation to himself: “I am not a victim!” This short phrase has an amazing effect on the individual's determination to act and suppresses any need to feel sorry for himself.

It is dangerous to hold back tears often

Loss of control over the emotional state can significantly reduce the quality of a person's life and make him an outcast of society. But the constant containment of emotions, a strict self-prohibition of “all sorts of weaknesses” will sooner or later lead to physiological problems, up to asthma or sciatica.

He althy, good emotions also need to be updated, and this happens when a person allows himself to accept that negativity, which still, drop by drop, seeps into the life of each person. Problems at work, illness, separation of loved ones - these are the situations that make you want to part with them as they come, without holding them in yourself for a minute. Accumulation of them, "exaggeration" of details provokes the development of sustained stress, complicated by numerous psychosomatic phenomena.

To anyonea person is recommended at least occasionally to splash out negative energy that inhibits all processes of a he althy body. Tears are one of the elementary components of such an energetic cleansing and should not be neglected.