Loneliness is especially acute in adolescence. A maturing person begins to be more and more critical of himself and others, his expectations and requirements change. And the problem: "I don't have a friend" becomes more and more painful. How can I help my teen deal with feelings of loneliness?
Which words to find?
If your son or daughter says "I don't have a friend" it means "I feel bad" to him or her. Try to be as attentive as possible to the child during this period. Talk to him as much as possible, just do not lecture, but try to understand. Be sincere, share your thoughts and experiences, memories of how you grew up, what was important to you then. Alas, much more often a teenager does not admit his problems, but prefers to carry everything in himself. Nevertheless, there are certain signals. A smart parent or teacher will notice them and try to help.
First of all, categorically avoid criticism! Remember that any comments are taken with hostility because they hurtan already sensitive fragile soul. A teenager has a very shaky self-esteem, he is only looking for himself and his place in this world. Therefore, if you react to the words: “I don’t have a friend” with criticism (“He doesn’t exist, because you are not enough …. smart, good, handsome, kind, trying”) and similar texts - be sure that you are in contact with the child
lose forever. Do not think that your comments will help him correct his shortcomings, that he will become better. This is one of the biggest misconceptions parents have. On the contrary, praise the teenager as often as possible, instill in him confidence in his attractiveness and abilities. In search of approval and recognition, children increasingly go into virtual reality, into communication with those who are just as lonely and unhappy. Not receiving praise and understanding in the family and school, they begin to look for them in various companies, which are far from always reliable and kindly disposed.
Besides, remember with what envy sometimes young beings look at those peers who seem to them more mature, successful, beautiful. For a girl, the thought "I don't have a friend" is often closely related to the example of girlfriends who have had boyfriends for a long time. It is in adolescence that one wants so much to be no worse than others, to be attractive and admirable. There is nothing shameful in this - this is a normal process of self-affirmation and the formation of a person.
It is also important for a teenager what kind of friend a person is, whether he knows how to accept him real, not try to change.
Not findingsupport from peers, they tend to communicate with elders, with adults. It also raises a kind of "prestige" of a teenager in their own eyes and in the opinion of classmates. That is why it is extremely important to constantly talk with children on the topics of interpersonal communication. It is necessary to teach them to understand themselves, to listen to their inner voice. And to distinguish the real from the superficial. A guy-friend for a girl is often not so much the one with whom you can share the most intimate, who you can trust, but the one with whom you want to show up at a party, who you can “boast” so that classmates envy. And this is also a normal stage of formation and development. Therefore, do not rush to reproach a teenager for not understanding people. Try to understand him and create a trusting atmosphere. This is the only way to help him get through this difficult period.
