Karpman's triangle is a model of relationships between individuals of three different types. This is a kind of game that reflects reality. The author of this theory is Stephen Karpman.
Karpman triangle: model description
This model implies the division of personalities into three types: Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer. A conflict arises between the first and second, but the third is trying to resolve the situation and help out the victim. A feature of this model is that such a situation can persist for many years, to some extent arranging for each of the parties. The Persecutor, as a strong personality, terrorizes others, the Victim finds satisfaction in shifting responsibility for his failures to others, but the Rescuer sees his destiny in helping each and every one of difficult situations.
Despite the fact that the roles in the Karpman triangle are clearly distributed, this does not mean that they always remain so. It is difficult for people to constantly adhere to the same position, and therefore the Victim can sometimes turn into the Persecutor, the Rescuer into the Victim, and so on. It should be noted that these transformations are not permanent, butare episodic.
Codependent relationships
If we make it a rule to analyze situations around us, we can conclude that many of them illustrate the Karpman triangle. Co-dependent relationships are a kind of synonym, or the basis of this psychological phenomenon. This means a situation where certain types of personality are in conflict, but at the same time they absolutely cannot imagine their life without each other.
The Victim, the Persecutor and the Rescuer are the main actors on whose interaction the Karpman triangle is based. The co-dependent relationship between them is based on the fact that they are self-fulfilling at the expense of each other. Thus, the Victim finds its justification in the attacks of the Persecutor, who, in turn, receives satisfaction by dominating her. The Rescuer shows his aggression towards the Persecutor under the pretext of protecting the Victim. This is a vicious circle (or rather, a triangle), which is not so easy to break. The main difficulty is that the subjects themselves do not want this.
The Role of the Victim
One of the roles of this psychological model is the Victim. Karpman's triangle implies that such individuals tend to completely relieve themselves of responsibility for the events taking place in their lives. In addition, such a person tries in every possible way to achieve attention and compassion for himself. Another option is the provocation of the aggressors. Having achieved his goal, the Victim begins to manipulate them, demanding some compensation.
It is worth noting that exactlyKarpman assigns a key meaning to the victim in his triangle. This is due to the fact that this character can quickly turn into a Chaser or a Rescuer. At the same time, the Victim does not fundamentally change his beliefs, still trying to avoid any responsibility for his actions.
It is worth noting that in some situations the Karpman triangle consists only of characters of this type. You can get out of the Victim only by changing the emotional background. She must feel the possibility of making changes in her life, and also realize the fact that they are impossible without taking responsibility.
Role of the Stalker
The persecutor, by nature, strives for leadership and dominance over others. He tries to manipulate the Victim, fully justifying these actions in his mind. It is quite natural that the object of attacks begins to resist in every possible way. By suppressing this protest, the Persecutor asserts himself and receives moral satisfaction. Thus, it can be judged that the oppression of others is his basic need.
Another feature of the Pursuer's role is that his actions are not groundless. Within himself, he finds a complete justification and explanation for them. The absence of such can completely destroy his beliefs. However, if the Persecutor encounters resistance from the Victim, then this is an additional incentive to maintain his line of behavior.
The Role of the Rescuer
Rescuer is a rather complex figure from a psychological point of view. There is a desire for the manifestation of aggression in him, which he stubbornly suppresses in himself. For one reason or another, this person cannot move to the status of the Persecutor, and therefore he has to look for another use for his unused resources. He finds his purpose in protecting the Victim.
It is worth noting that the ultimate goal of the Rescuer is not at all to bring the Victim out of the "distressed" situation. In this case, he risks losing the path of his self-realization. And it consists in the fact that the Rescuer shows hidden aggression against the Persecutor under the pretext of protecting the Victim. From this we can conclude that it is not profitable for him to exit the last triangle.
How to get out of the triangle
We constantly find ourselves in certain life situations, and sometimes we create them ourselves. Finding a way out of the Karpman triangle is sometimes a difficult task. The longer we are exposed to others, the deeper we become mired in their scenarios and intrigues. If you feel psychological discomfort, then you just need to end your participation in this triangle.
The first step to solving the problem is to recognize that this situation can be described as the Karpman triangle. How to get out of this dependence is largely determined by the role played. It is not so easy to determine it, because sometimes you can draw unpleasant conclusions for yourself. However, in order to solve the problem, you will need to objectively consider your behavior in order to determine whether you are a Victim, a Persecutor or a Rescuer.
Recommendations for the Victim
This figure is one of the most complex and key in such a model as the Karpman triangle. How to get out of the role of the Victim? It is quite difficult, but you can make it easier by following some recommendations:
- you should gradually start taking independent steps to improve your life;
- it is important to stop shifting responsibility for your problems and troubles to others;
- understand that you will have to pay to some extent for every service rendered to you;
- get rid of the habit of making excuses - you have every right to do as you please;
- if you have a Rescuer in your life, try to get the benefit of communicating with him without trying to push him against the Chaser.
Recommendations for the Lifeguard
The following actions will help the rescuer to leave the Karpman triangle:
- if no request for help has been received, then in no case do not interfere in other people's relations;
- do not consider yourself smarter than others;
- before making promises to anyone, make sure you are 100% able to keep them;
- if you yourself volunteer to help, then you should not count on gratitude;
- if you are helping for a benefit or a favor in return, don't be shy about ittalk;
- find a path of self-realization that does not involve interfering with other people's problems;
- if you feel called to help others, then do it where it is really needed.
Recommendations for the stalker
If the Karpman triangle has become an undesirable situation for the Chaser, then he should start working on himself in the following areas:
- before showing aggression towards others, you must clearly make sure that it is not groundless, but is the result of someone's indecent behavior;
- you must realize that you are fallible just like other people;
- look for the cause of your problems and failures in your behavior, and not in the people around you;
- understand the fact that, just as you do not consider it necessary to consider an alternative opinion, other people also do not have to accept your point of view at all;
- find other ways to fulfill yourself other than oppressing and dominating others;
- make your profit by motivating people, not by pressure on them.
Karpman's Triangle: real life examples
In ordinary life, there are quite a lot of situations that can illustrate the Karpman triangle. So, the most common example is the relationship of a wife, husband and mother-in-law. The first, of course, acts as the Victim, which is constantly terrorized by the Persecutor (it is easy to guess that this is the mother of the spouse). Husband in this gameacts as a Rescuer who is trying to establish relationships between members of his family. In the process of resolving or aggravating the conflict, its participants can change positions, switching to other roles.
Another example of the Karpman triangle is raising a child in a family. The Persecutor parent is a strict parent, while the Rescuer parent pities and spoils their child. The child in this case takes the position of the Victim. Not wanting to follow strict rules, he pits the Chaser and the Rescuer. Having solved his problem in this way, he goes into the shadows, and the conflict between his parents continues to develop.
Conclusions
Most of the situations that occur in our lives can fall under the description of the Karpman triangle theory. No matter how hard we try, no one can avoid taking the role of the Victim, the Persecutor or the Aggressor in this or that situation. Nevertheless, the game can be delayed, which is fraught with serious psychological and practical problems. Then it's time to get out of this pattern.
Getting out of the Karpman triangle is possible only if you are clearly aware of your role in this game. It is not so easy to do this, because not everyone is given a sober assessment of the situation and admitting their vices. If you were able to clearly assess your role, then it remains only to follow the appropriate recommendations.
To leave the Karpman Triangle, the Victim must learntake responsibility for your own failures. As for the Persecutor, he should find another source of self-expression, in addition to unmotivated aggression and humiliation of the dignity of others. The rescuer, on the other hand, must realize that he may not always be right, and therefore there is no need to rush to help if there is no corresponding request.
