Today, a very important question is on the agenda: "Why do men cheat on their wives, but don't leave?" This causes serious scandals and rupture of relations. It is very difficult to survive, understand and forgive the betrayal of a spouse, it is even more difficult to start a relationship from scratch, without looking back at what happened. Today we will talk about the causes of adultery. This will help you to see the harbingers of trouble and take action in time. In fact, betrayal is not the end of a relationship, you just need to find the strength in yourself for a frank conversation and the desire to go through this difficult period together.
Family Relations
When young people get married, it seems to them that happiness will last forever. But a year passes, then another, petty quarrels accumulate, the first disappointments appear. The partner no longer looks so perfect. Nevertheless, it is important for a man to feel a quiet, safe harbor, a reliable berth. This is an explanation of why men cheat on their wives, but do not leave. A wife is stability, a special status, reliability, warmth andcomfort of home. And a mistress is an adventure that ends well. To go to her means to break your life and start building anew, from scratch. At the same time, a man understands that, having become a wife, his mistress will lose a special charm, so attractive today.
Cheating is a complex phenomenon that can have many causes. Often a man does not stop loving his wife, he still wants a relationship with her. He diligently hides the connection on the side, is ashamed of her, but cannot resist the temptation. Let's look at the main reasons why men cheat on their wives, but do not leave.
Expert Opinion
One of the first reasons experts call physiology. Men are polygamous by nature, they crave sexual diversity and a large number of partners. Society taboos such desires, promoting marital fidelity, but instincts do not disappear. This explains why men cheat on their wives but don't leave. They have a biologically programmed need to leave as many offspring as possible, and for this you need to have many partners. But this is not the only reason. According to Western sociologists, 99% of adultery is committed simply because of the banal boredom, the monotony of life. There are a number of other reasons that push a man to do this, we will talk about them later.
Major changes
Painfully familiar situation. Before marriage, a woman came on dates with a perfect haircut, manicure, watched her diet and weight, and now she walks around the house in a stretched T-shirt. This is especially true for coupleswhere a woman does not work. Housewives are more prone to depression because of the monotony and home routine, and for a man there is nothing worse than coming home, where a woman in a worn dressing gown is sitting gloomy, like a cloud. Of course, family relationships play a big role. The psychology of people is such that the more attention one person pays to another, the more warmth and affection he receives in return. Therefore, if a man, instead of looking for entertainment on the side, will more often say compliments, invite his wife on dates and give gifts, the more likely he is to see again the radiance of loving eyes, a romantic dinner and a new dress on his beloved.
No one understands me
Indeed, very often men who cheat on their wives say that they do not understand them. But in fact, it sounds strange, as if a woman would be able to fully unravel his mysterious nature from the first meeting. The thing is that you need to patiently build relationships in the family. The psychology of people is such that only primary love is given to us in advance, due to a hormonal surge. Then you have to make efforts for true love to come. To do this, you need to learn to communicate, listen and hear, solve problems within the family, pronounce everything that does not suit you. Then you won't have to look for consolation on the side.
Excitement, risk, novelty
The psychology of a cheating man is such that he feels like a hunter at this moment. Ancient instincts wake up, a pleasant feeling of danger and violation of the ban. All this ticklesnerves, excites the imagination, gives amazing sensations. It is akin to drug intoxication: when the fuse passes, you want to return it. However, sensations are dulled and you need to look for something new, brighter, and so on ad infinitum. A happy family is one in which spouses are able to find new sensations within their own relationship.
Relationships need work
Psychologists believe that every woman can support a spark of passion in a family. In addition, this is her direct task. This is necessary not only for men, monotony and everyday life are detrimental to both partners. New underwear and clothes in a woman's wardrobe should appear regularly, the man who, without providing for his family, demands that his wife be well-groomed is bad. And you can come up with a lot of ways to revive the former passion. Invite your spouse to a rented apartment, leaving the children in the care of their grandmother. Believe me, a happy family is worth the effort. Romantic dinner and erotic massage, signs of attention - these are all tools that can be used to "prevent" cheating. But psychologists say that there is the most important and reliable remedy: before entering the house after work, stop for a minute. You need to take a deep breath and exhale at least 5 times, while mentally saying goodbye to work, current problems and worries. Imagine the image of your beloved man, and the way you saw him in the happiest moments of your family life. Do you want more moments like this? Try to feel again those feelings that you experienced then, smile and enter the house.
Treason without explanation
The psychology of a cheating man is quite complex. Sometimes he himself cannot explain why he is so drawn to the left. It seems that there are no obvious prerequisites, everything is fine at home, but still he stubbornly spends time and money looking for new relationships. Perhaps he got married too early, and it seems to him that he has not yet had time to work up. Or the call of ancient instincts makes him again and again takes the path of a hunter and gatherer. In any case, women can recognize such a "macho" even at the beginning of a relationship. Just watch how he behaves on the street and indoors, where there are many beautiful women. If even now, when there is an ardent passion between you, he still tries to hit on other young ladies, then it will only get worse.
Just sex
As already mentioned, men are polygamous by nature. It is not so important what a woman's figure is - if she appears naked in front of a man every day, then she ceases to excite him. This object has been conquered, it's time to move on. Not all researchers agree with this statement, but nevertheless, many adhere to this particular point of view. If a man is monogamous, it is only because he realizes that friendship and love are more important than casual relationships on the side.
What is the purpose of cheating
Why do men cheat? For them, sex and love are two big differences. A man can love his wife and have sexual relations with other women. More often itnot permanent, but one-time meetings. This separation of love and sex allows a man to easily cheat and not feel guilty. Although the latter is questionable. Guilt appears later and is not due to the fact of sex itself, but to the possible consequences. What happens if the wife finds out? Will a random passion haunt him? And there is also a risk of catching one of the sexually transmitted diseases. There is a chance that, having weighed well all that he received from his adventure, the man will forever become a monogamous family man. In order not to be too late, even before you go on a date, imagine the worst possible scenario. For example, your random girlfriend will tell her wife what happened. The fact of treason, presented in this way, is very difficult to survive. Is it worth it?
Rights and obligations of the parties
It's very interesting to know what percentage of men cheat. Various sources report figures from 70 to 90% of the entire male population of the Earth. Impressive, isn't it? This is due to the physiological need of men for sex. It is much higher than that of women. In addition, the load on the fine floor is very high. A woman works at work, performs a large number of household duties, takes care of children. As a result, very tired in the evening. You do not have the strength for intimacy, and your husband, bored at the computer, stares to the left? Obviously, the problem has matured so much that it is time to solve it. Sit down at the negotiating table. A man complains about the lack of sex? Okay, write down on paper all your responsibilities related to home, family, children, andoffer him to take exactly half. Ask if he agrees with the prospect of fully providing for the family so that you are at home and have time to complete the home work front by the time he arrives? Divide all the hardships of the family burden in half, and both will feel better.
How to understand that a man is cheating
It's actually not hard at all. Just watch your soulmate every day. If a man begins to regularly stay late at work, vaguely explaining the reasons, he often has things to do on weekends, and even on holidays there are urgent assignments, then you should take a closer look. Does he carry his phone everywhere, does he go to another room if he gets a call, does he get nervous if you pick up the phone? All these are indirect signs that he has something to hide. Review your budget to see if there are more unplanned expenses?
What to do if a man cheats
There is no point in throwing scandals and quarrels, even if you are 100% sure that you are right in your suspicions. Another mistake would be to try to find his mistress and see who he traded you for, or take revenge. Often an offended woman also decides to change in revenge - this step is also better to postpone. So far, you only need one thing - to speak out, to work out your emotions. For this, a friend or a professional psychologist is suitable. Only after experiencing the first shock, you can think about what decision to make. Divorce is not always the best way out; in some cases, you can survive the betrayal and continue the relationship. The help of a family psychologist will notsuperfluous.
Summarize
We looked at the main reasons for cheating. Now you know how many men cheat on their wives. The statistics are ruthless, it puts almost the entire male population on the list of womanizers. In fact, this is not so, most of them, just like women, value their relationships and are not ready to risk them for the sake of a momentary hobby. In any case, forewarned is forearmed. If you have an idea about the causes and signs of adultery, then you will do everything possible to avoid it.
