Throughout life, people have to constantly deal with various emotional upheavals, the most severe of which is betrayal. It is not surprising. It is quite difficult to forgive a person for a stab in the back and endure severe pain. The question of why people betray each other worries almost every modern person. In our article we will try to understand this topic in more detail. We will also consider whether to forgive betrayal.
What is betrayal?
"Why betray the closest people?" - a similar question can be heard quite often in the office of a psychologist. However, few people think about what betrayal is. This concept has its own meaning for each person. However, most often a traitor is called a person who was immersed in the inner world of his friend or lover,knew his secrets, was trusted, but for some reason she shook this trust with her unseemly act.
In some cases, people themselves become the perpetrators of betrayal, placing excessive hopes on the honesty of another person. Of course, you always want to feel that you live in a society that does not seek to use close relationships for material gain. However, God saves the safe. In most cases, practice shows that it is distrustful people who achieve much more success than naive individuals.
Examples of betrayal
In some cases, it is extremely difficult to determine the severity of an act committed by a loved one, since the very concept of "betrayal" most often depends on individual human perception. Usually, it means a situation when someone from close people acts dishonestly towards their friend or loved one:
- spread gossip or false rumors behind his back;
- gives secrets and secrets to third parties;
- setting up for money;
- cheats regularly.
And the worst thing about betrayal is that it is almost impossible to foresee. People can live a calm and measured life, enjoying every happy moment together. However, sooner or later the hour will come when a loved one will show his true face and cause severe mental pain.
Reasonsbetrayal
So why do people betray even their loved ones? It is unlikely that at least one psychologist in the world will give an exact answer to this question. Such an act can be provoked by a variety of factors. For example, a traitor may have serious financial problems and be willing to sacrifice their relationship with a loved one to get out of it. In some cases, normal natural instincts are to blame, for example, when a guy cheats on a girl he loves madly, succumbing to a fit of passion and the habits of an alpha male.
Sometimes betrayal can happen unconsciously. A person who likes to chat with comrades may accidentally let slip about your secret or the secret that you asked to keep. In this case, such an act is almost certainly worth forgiving. However, it also happens that a person forgives the betrayal of a loved one, and he again and again causes severe pain, again taking on the role of an offender. Should we forgive such people? Let's figure it out.
Should we forgive betrayal?
The answer to this question in each case is strictly individual. It all depends on the severity of the act committed by the person. For example, sometimes just talking to a friend is enough for him to realize his guilt and no longer betray your trust. In some cases, the offender may sincerely repent of the perfect act, but this still will not deter him from re-inflicting pain on a loved one.
So one thing can be saidfor sure. To forgive a person is a very noble and courageous act, for which the person himself is responsible. If you have forgiven a friend or loved one, subconsciously be prepared for the fact that an unpleasant event may happen again in your life. Of course, you should not completely change your relationship with a loved one, but protect yourself from another portion of the pain that you can inflict.
How can you tell if a betrayer feels guilty?
Most honest people after betrayal will feel extremely uncomfortable and will try to correct the situation. Sometimes a person can be enough for a banal "I'm sorry", and sometimes it becomes clear how they are heartbroken and even after forgiveness they try with all their might to make amends. Though it doesn't happen that often.
Why don't betrayers feel guilty? This phenomenon can occur for various reasons. Perhaps, somewhere in the depths of their souls, they harbored a grudge against their friend or lover. Or they are simply not used to repenting for their actions and consider themselves always right. Be that as it may, only you can decide for sure whether to forgive this person or not.
How to learn to forgive people
Now you know a lot about why people are betrayed. However, to learn to forgive people, such knowledge will not be enough. Try to comprehend everything properly, putting yourself in the place of your offender. Perhaps he had good reasons for betraying that you do not know about.
In most cases, it is extremely difficult to completely calm down, experiencing severe mental pain. Emotions now and then will take over the mind and go out. Try to keep your sanity. Cry and scream when you are alone with yourself, venting all the negativity.
Once you manage to regain your sanity, you will be able to fully understand the situation and see two sides of the coin at once. Perhaps after that you will be able to completely forgive the person for the perfect act, finding part of the guilt for the deed within yourself. Or at least you will be able to learn a valuable life lesson from all this.
How to keep faith in people
Betrayed by a friend and now you don't know how you can trust other people? Just give yourself time to cool down. At a difficult moment, it may seem that happiness will never return to your life, and people will continue to betray you. Try to believe in the best. Do not put everyone under the same brush. After a month or a year, luck will surely smile at you, and you will find the warm and pure relationship that you have been looking for.
We hope this article has helped you understand why people betray. If you still have some questions about this, then be sure to watch a short video, which will also find a lot of useful information for those people who have been betrayed. In no case do not cultivate your pain, but rather remember those warm moments that were between you and the offender.
