Today, the problem of consumer relations between people is very relevant for our society. After all, it is hardly possible to find such a person who would never encounter such a phenomenon in his life. Some people had to experience the consumer attitude. And it hardly gave them pleasure. Others simply observed such relationships from the outside. But all of them can hardly admit that sometimes they play the role of consumers in the eyes of others and close people. After all, it is quite difficult to understand this. This is usually said by the victim, who is tired of being used all the time.
What is this consumer attitude? This issue is worth looking into in more detail. After all, this will allow the wife to understand why the husband is constantly dissatisfied with the role of the eternal breadwinner, and the wife - why the wife is offended by him, talking aboutlack of respect and attention. Knowing in more detail that this is a consumer attitude, parents will understand why their generally well-behaved child is not able to say words of gratitude.
The global problem of humanity
Representatives of modern society are often considered adherents of the cult of consumption. This is facilitated by the ever-increasing level of social benefits. The growth of the consumer relations index quite often manifests itself only through the prism of satisfaction of certain requests.
People start collecting things. And they only do it because they can afford it. If something becomes unusable, then we, as a rule, throw it away, acquiring a new item in return. And again, we only do it because we can afford it.
Definition of concept
Consumer attitude is a phenomenon that has many negative aspects. Enough has been said about this already. However, all this is not so scary. After all, it is worse if it comes not to inanimate objects, which, in fact, are created in order to be used, but about the consumer attitude towards people. Victims of this phenomenon, describing the nature of their feelings, often indicate that they feel like an ordinary thing.
A person who shows a consumer attitude towards people uses others as a resource. At the same time, he does not care about their feelings at all and he does not have a desire to give anyone anything in return. In cases wherethe victim begins to realize his position and understands that everything cannot go on so easily, it is she who takes the initiative and breaks such a connection.
However, unfortunately, it is far from always possible to objectively assess the situation. Sometimes the victim lives with the consumer, suffers, but continues to suffer. Sometimes she worries in silence, sometimes she resents aloud, but endures, not fully realizing her situation.
Examples of a negative phenomenon
There are different kinds of consumer relations. How can they be expressed? In general, consumption is a process that allows you to fully satisfy your own desires and needs. At the same time, it allows a person to achieve goals using various means. Judging by the definition, the consumer attitude is a phenomenon that we encounter in one way or another every day in our lives. However, it is not always a problem. Its negative sides are manifested only when the interests of a certain person are infringed, due to which a person begins to realize his desires.
If we do not take into account the purely material aspect, then the consumer attitude in society is manifested in the following aspects:
- Often such troubles arise between a woman and a man. At the same time, the representatives of the stronger sex use women only to ensure that they maintain the comfort of life, satisfy purely physiological needs, they have them just for show, etc. There are a great many options for such relationships.
- Sometimes the consumers are ladies. They areuse the representatives of the stronger sex for their material gain, as well as for the realization of their femininity, etc.
- Another type of consumerism is the sometimes unfair attitude of children towards their parents. Moreover, this phenomenon is quite widespread. Parents sometimes do everything possible to bring their child into people. But in the end, the son or daughter not only does not thank them for their efforts, but also nullifies all their efforts.
- Consumer attitudes towards people can often be found in friendship. Almost every person has probably encountered this type of similar phenomenon. After all, there are such friends and girlfriends who appear only when they need something - to borrow money, spend the night, etc.
- Consumer relations appear at work as well. Most often, this phenomenon comes from the authorities. It uses its subordinates, squeezes all the juice out of them, but is not going to pay for it. Or vice versa. A person, being in a leadership position, tries to treat everyone in a good way. He respects other people's opinions and interests, but the annoying employee constantly asks to go home early without completing the task, as his grandmother allegedly fell ill again.
It should be borne in mind that in the event that any of the above types of relations with a person begins to cross all sorts of boundaries, and he feels that he is simply being used, this problem must be resolutely de alt with.
Consumer attitudes towards men
In the case of a patriarchal society, all the functions of the head of the family will certainlyassigned to the representative of the stronger sex. At this time, it is believed that a woman should obey the decisions that were made by him. On the one hand, it can be argued that a man is given a very privileged position. However, this medal has its flip side. Such social roles gradually lead to the fact that the personal traits of the spouses begin to be erased. Each of them is within the clear framework of patriarchal standards.
In such families both sides lose. The husband suffers from the fact that he is considered only as a source of income, family welfare and domestic comfort. No one perceives him as a living person with his desires, needs and emotions. Love in such marriages, as a rule, is either absent initially, or rather quickly begins to fade into the background, fading away.
The consumer attitude towards a man gradually leads to his realization that his wife needs him mainly only for material support. It's just wonderful when the head of the family is able to pay for a family vacation or give his soulmate an expensive thing. However, it is not normal if:
- his surprises and gifts are taken for granted;
- he never gets anything in return;
- in the absence of an expensive gift, a woman expresses misunderstanding, irritation and resentment;
- Communication with a spouse comes down to only one-sided reproaches with demands like “you must.”
In a similar situation, a manone should be aware of whether he is ready to endure such an attitude towards himself for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, re-educating an adult is unlikely to succeed. And if a certain scenario of family life has been laid in the head of a spouse since childhood, where only consumerism finds expression on her part, and where there is no mutual respect, support and sympathy, then it is unlikely that her approach to this issue can be changed with the help of quarrels, requests and conversations.
It is worth noting that a similar view of the role of a man in family relationships is sometimes developed by a lady already in marriage. This happens due to the fact that the spouse is the first to begin to treat his soulmate with a consumer attitude. He deprives her of her voice in important decisions, and also demands that the wife unconditionally perform "typically female" functions, raising children, working at home, etc. This is how he forces his wife to treat him the same way.
Consumer attitudes towards women
Many husbands sometimes do not even notice that they themselves create relationships in the family that are more like slave-owning than love. Such representatives of the stronger sex absolutely do not care about the mood of their wife. It doesn't matter to them how people around them look at their soulmate.
The consumer attitude of a man towards a woman is expressed in the fact that the spouse never helps her in solving everyday issues and problems. The main thing for him is order in the house, cooked food and the fact that the mother is raising children. But all this, they believe, should happen without their participation.
Wives in such families constantly complain about their lives in various forums, go to psychologists, seek support from their friends. They are not satisfied with the husband's indifference, his detachment and misunderstanding of the current situation. However, conversations directly with the head of the family do not give any positive results. After all, these men have a consumer attitude towards a woman precisely because they do not see in her a person who has her own beliefs, desires and habits. For them, the spouse is a slave who lives to fulfill his whims. As a rule, it is very difficult to achieve respect and a normal attitude towards a woman.
How to explain this consumer attitude? This phenomenon may not always be due to the high salary of the husband or his social status. After all, it often happens that a spouse who brings much smaller amounts to the family than his soulmate, and is less busy with other things, still strives to shift all domestic problems onto the fragile shoulders of his partner. And a similar phenomenon can be observed all the time. Most often, the foundations of such relationships are laid in boys in early childhood. Unfortunately, not all parents can understand in time that their child seeks only to receive from life, without giving anything to people in return.
Often a woman does not understand why she is so unlucky with her husband. She is trying to find the answer to the question of what she is doing wrong. But the reason, as a rule, lies precisely in the man. At the same time, psychologists distinguish three types of personality of representatives of a stronghalf of humanity, each of which in its own way relates to its half. Let's take a closer look at them.
Connoisseur
A man with this type of personality takes care of his soul mate. He treats her without fail with tenderness. For such men, it is especially important that their partner always look one hundred percent.
That's why they don't mind if their loved one strives for perfection. Such women do not focus on household chores, and their spouses tend to take on part of the family chores.
Democrat
A man with this type of personality respects the preferences and tastes of his wife. This happens even in those cases when he cannot agree with her on this or that issue. A Democrat would never wake his woman up on a day off to get up and cook him breakfast. He will patiently wait for her to get out of bed. In addition, this man himself will be able to cook himself scrambled eggs and sandwiches. In such a relationship, partners take care of each other without shifting their responsibilities onto other people's shoulders. Such a man respects a woman and sees a person in her.
Slavemaster
Such a man has developed a consumer attitude towards a woman. He is not interested in what his wife looks like and what she is wearing. It is worth noting that sometimes her appearance is also not important for a lady. After all, a woman simply does not have time for herself.
Psychologists note that such a consumer attitude of a man cannot lead to anythinggood. After all, people are only happy when they can make others happy. Otherwise, they will feel exhausted and unloved.
What to do so that the child does not grow up to be a consumer?
Most parents dream of seeing their child obedient, trying in every possible way to stop his manifestations of initiative. The result of this is childish infantilism, which persists in the future for many years. In those cases when, at the age of one, babies treat their parents, and indeed everyone around them, as a source of benefits, you should not blame the child for this. At his early stage of development, he simply does not realize where sweets and toys come from and at what cost adults get them. If a similar situation is repeated in the future, that is, in kindergarten, school and student age, then this is already abnormal.
How to wean a child from a consumer attitude to life? To do this, parents should leave him space that would allow him to make independent decisions. And let it be still at the minimum level that is available for the appropriate age of the child and is safe for him. Children should be allowed to help their parents. Then the exchange of goods will be bilateral between them. In this way, parents will be able to instill in their son or daughter values that are considered more important in society than consumer values. Thanks to such upbringing, children from the earliest years will acquire the ability to show gratitude and respect, compassion andhelp.
Consumer attitude in friendship
Spiritually close people always share their emotions, time, actions, and sometimes material values. That is why we can talk about friendship as a relationship that is based on a mutually beneficial exchange. Only in this case they will continue and develop. However, sometimes it happens that an equivalent exchange between people does not occur. In this case, sooner or later, but the giving side will certainly come to exhaustion. She will either have nothing to share, or she will lose the desire to do so.
What is the reason for the consumer attitude in friendship? It is based on disrespect for the values and personality of another person. Sometimes a situation arises when a person wants to be friends. However, at the same time, he shows inattention to the feelings and thoughts of another. He simply does not pay attention to his reaction to his actions and does not draw any conclusions. For example, he may hurt a friend badly and not notice it.
