How do adequate people behave?

2024 Author: Miguel Ramacey | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 06:11

Do we love eccentrics, those who constantly draw attention to themselves with strange and incomprehensible actions? It is unlikely, rather, they make fun of them, consider them funny and even afraid. Adequate people, unlike those who constantly fall out of the norms and standards of communication, are much more pleasant and reliable.

The word itself is of Latin origin. Adaequare - "equate, identify." Therefore, adequate people are those whose

behavior and way of expressing thoughts and feelings are acceptable, appropriate for the situation, circumstances, environment. But this concept should not be confused with conformism, opportunism, dullness. The ability to anticipate the reaction of the interlocutor, to comply with generally accepted norms, to restrain manifestations of emotions that are undesirable for a given situation - this is the result of not only good education. It is also an indicator of intelligence and spiritual development. Why are we afraid of the insane? Because we don't know what to expect from them. Adequate people, on the contrary, are quite predictable, and this does not mean that they are boring. In many situations (especially in business communication),when we expect to receive a certain reaction to our words and actions, manifestations of eccentricity are unacceptable. Imagine how you would feel if a saleswoman in a store, in response to your request to weigh 300 g of sausage or show a size 44 blouse, suddenly began to undress or clutched her head and cried? Surely you would be uncomfortable.

Of course, history knows many examples of bright, extraordinary deeds. Let us recall at least the famous Khrushchev's shoe. And it is far from always necessary to say only what is expected of us. It is rather not about the essence, but about the form.

Adequate people follow the convention, the style of communication adopted for a given situation in a given society. However, since the etiquette of different countries and nations differs not only in conventions, but also in the limits of what is permissible, it is worth paying special attention to this if we have a business or personal meeting with representatives of other peoples.

Often what is obvious to us and does not require additional comments may look strange or even offensive to our foreign guests or interlocutors. For example, it is natural for Russians to visit each other without warning, just to "drop in for a glass of tea." But the German in such a situation will not understand you and will even be outraged by your impudence. It is customary to warn and arrange a visit in advance.

There are many such examples, but it is not the peculiarities of national etiquette that concern us now.

Although the mentality greatly affects all spheres of human life. Take, for example, such a concept as adequate self-esteem, that is, not overestimated and not underestimated, corresponding to reality. But even here the differences creep in. If modesty is considered a virtue for a Russian or an Asian, then, say, an American or a Spaniard will not hesitate to present all his achievements in the most favorable light, embellishing them and emphasizing them once again. A lot depends on upbringing, on the model of behavior adopted in the family. But all this is also influenced by the prevailing system of values.

And it is they who determine whether two people will develop an adequate relationship. Whether the group members will be able to live up to their roles, mutual expectations, norms also depends on many factors. One thing remains certain: for standards to be met, they must be clear and obvious.