Honesty is the foundation of all human relationships. No one will drive a car, walk on the sidewalk, take a train or plane unless we make sure that other people take their responsibilities seriously. Culture, civilization and society depend on such belief. But what causes the problems of a person who treats everything incredulously? And why does a crack appear, shielding people from each other?
Where does the problem with believing in people come from?
Relationships can develop over the years, but a familiar connection can be destroyed in an instant. A very distrustful person in the past often faced negative communication experiences, whether it be people or organizations that are endearing. Psychological research proves that children of divorced parents and those who have experienced abuse of their identity at home show more suspicion, caution and insecurity in new relationships in the future.
Problems sometimes arise from negative interactions inearly childhood, but can also be formed due to social rejection in adolescence, traumatic adult experiences, betrayal in friendship or love.
There are also situations when a person loses significant financial resources or notices acute injustice on the part of authoritative persons, therefore, in the future, he is suspicious of the competence of management institutions. For example, the fragile state of the national economy has led many citizens to lose confidence in the integrity of the banking system and government institutions.
One way or another, an unpleasant experience can haunt a distrustful person throughout the next life.
Main signs: how to understand that I have a problem?
People make choices every day about who to believe and who not. Some are more conducive to themselves, opening up almost immediately, while others arouse suspicion of good intentions. And rightly so, because absolute honesty would become a new topic for high-profile debate. But a value judgment doesn't always live up to expectations.
Signs of a distrustful person include the following:
- Lack of intimacy or friendships.
- Dramatic and violent reactions to everyday things.
- Suspicion or concern about friends and family.
- Uncertainty in the interlocutor.
- The belief that others will definitely deceive or betray without justifiable reasons.
- Instant termination of contacts whenrevealing flaws or lies.
Psychological issues and common beliefs
So why are people distrustful? The fact is that a protective mechanism is triggered in a situation of betrayal or refusal. This can lead to anxiety, anger, or low self-esteem in the future.
A person becomes a hostage to beliefs and is unable to get rid of them:
- "If I open up, it will hurt again."
- "Everyone wants to get me."
- "I shouldn't show real feelings."
People with the above thoughts create a social barrier, trying to secure the emotional side from any conflict, building a wall between themselves and the world. Often, this defense is a way to avoid pain, breakups, or guilt.
A belief system marred by breaches of trust can be a significant burden both mentally and physically. All-consuming anxiety and stress easily become everyday companions. Fortunately, the shackles don't have to stay forever.
How to regain trust?
Before we can begin to deal with the situation, it is necessary to recognize that the problem is real and exists. Honesty is the first step towards change. Don't lie to yourself.
An incredulous person can turn to a qualified specialist who will individually understand the problem. There are also group therapies that provide an opportunity to share joint experiences with community members and build an honest dialogue.
True, the financial side of the issue is notalways allows you to professionally solve the situation, therefore it is recommended to follow simple tips.
Four General Principles for Increasing Faith in People
- Don't stop analyzing. The first key to overcoming problems is to identify the source that has caused the barrier to communication with others. You should stop and think about what happened in the situation, remember the details, consider them objectively from different angles and highlight the mistakes. Remember that being honest with yourself is important.
- Rewrite your history. It is easy for a distrustful person to build a wall of suspicion and it is difficult to maintain the belief that not everyone wants to hurt. Instead of getting angry or falling victim to someone else's actions, try to learn from the situation.
- Accept vulnerability. The innate ability of a person is to love and trust others. No one is born with the goal of being afraid and shielding himself from others. Only the experience that appears throughout life teaches us to be afraid. You should understand the difference: it is dangerous to be in a burning building, to walk on the roadway, and not to talk to other people. You are a living person.
- Heal the wounded heart. If you are faced with distrust due to the harsh treatment of peers, a loved one or parents, then in this case it is recommended to ask for the help of a specialist to start a thorough work on yourself. Sometimes it takes a lot of determination to talk to a psychologist because you are going to believe a stranger. Undoubtedly, the first step is always difficult, butit will help get rid of despair and heavy burdens.
Distrust is formed due to many factors, but it is possible to fight it. Find the wound, apply the right medicine, and learn to open your heart again. Start life again.
