Probably, there is no such person in the world who would never take offense at someone in his life. One way or another, this feeling is familiar to everyone: it corrodes from the inside, does not allow you to think sensibly, make responsible decisions. Modern scientists have proven the devastating effect of resentment on the human body and the powerful damage it causes to the psyche. In other words, resentment is a slow movement into the abyss, which will invariably swallow the one who finds himself in it. This article will tell you what this disturbing incomprehensible feeling is, what danger it carries, how to get rid of it.
Where do the roots come from
If we turn to the nature of this mysterious phenomenon, the following unpleasant picture emerges. A person is offended by others when he is angry and irritated. He feels that he has been treated unfairly. At the heart of resentment is always wounded pride. That is, a person who is offended subconsciously puts himself above others and wants to control the situation. He wants the environment not only to take into account his opinion, but unquestioninglyobeyed. He needs to know, to have information, to control the behavior of loved ones.
Words of resentment can sit deep in the subconscious and hurt a person again and again, causing vivid painful memories. It would seem that time has passed, the offender is not around, but the person is still suffering, tormented by a couple of phrases thrown once in passing. Absurd? Then why do we sometimes live like this ourselves, realizing how difficult it is to free ourselves from resentment?
Destructive impact
Those who are offended a lot, for whom the behavior of the offended is a lifestyle, as a rule, persistent violations of an adequate perception of reality are revealed. They are able to see behind the words of their neighbor a second meaning, which was not originally invested by the interlocutor. It's just that these people always seem to be waiting for a trick, a stab in the back. They do not believe that others can sincerely love them and worry about their well-being. Often they do not have friends because of their natural wariness, which actually prevents them from finding happiness.
The reason for resentment is a panicky self-doubt, which can intensify and progress with age. That's what resentment is. Pictures of scenes that caused an unpleasant emotional response may not let go of a person for years, fixing the consciousness of a loser behind him. It is important to get rid of negative emotions in time.
Children's offense
We all come from childhood. What didn’t happen there: quarrels among peers, misunderstanding on the part of parents, jealousy fortowards a younger brother or sister. The resentment of a child is so powerful that it leaves a mark in adulthood. It necessarily leaves an imprint on the system of values, the worldview of a person. And in all these troubles, parents in rare cases are able to truly understand, console, caress.
They are so often busy that it remains only whims and other bad antics to attract their attention. Children's resentment is the most acute, because the child, in principle, is not protected from the influence of environmental factors and is often not able to fully protect himself. Sometimes we may not realize that we hurt our own child. A child's resentment is comparable only to a hurricane of emotions that is difficult to control.
Cheating spouse
Perhaps this is the most painful thing that can happen in the life of two people in love. And here the state of distrust, isolation is fully justified. It is necessary to survive the pain, put thoughts in their places. It is known that the closest and dearest person is able to actually take the heart out of the chest with their actions and deeds. Then resentment and pain literally overwhelm, not allowing you to see the truth, depriving you of the opportunity to learn to trust in the future, undermine faith in yourself and your strengths. An abandoned woman or abandoned man will need to go through several circles of hell, literally and figuratively, in order to restore their peace of mind.
Relations with the world and yourself
Few people know that resentment is an unconscious wish for death. Offended personusually not aware of it, but he displays an uncontrollable sense of aggression towards his opponent. Often what is not spoken to the face, has a huge negative energy. It turns out that at a subtle level, people are often ready to destroy each other. The one who does not allow himself to be offended is not capable of actually being offended by another. If a person is sufficiently confident in himself, then he is self-sufficient and strong. The one who loves himself has a positive attitude towards the world. He will not allow himself to accumulate destructive thoughts in his heart, rarely gets angry and is dissatisfied. When harmony prevails in a person, he knows how to truly rejoice and is always aimed at success.
The consequences of constant self-digging and dissatisfaction with others
There are cases when people brought themselves to a nervous breakdown, trying to find the causes of deep intrapersonal conflicts. You need to know where to look for the origins of the problem. Trust me, that's what psychologists are for. Otherwise, it would be easy enough for each of us to just dig deep into our own heads and thoughts.
Resentment is not just accumulated negativity over time. It is a painfully colored emotion that a person has experienced, perhaps for more than one year, and therefore getting rid of it is actually not so easy. To work out feelings, it is important to choose a competent approach that would allow a person to be filled with new positive emotions and joy.
Factors affecting he alth
Physical he alth is closely related topsycho-emotional attitude. That is why it is so important to take care of yourself, treat your own feelings with increased attention and do not forget about the most important individual needs. Unfortunately, scientists have found a link between resentment and cancer. That is, those who periodically experience the feeling that they have been treated unfairly, are annoyed, more likely to get cancer. In an offended person, cells in the body are activated, aimed at self-destruction. There is nothing surprising in the fact that after a while such a person completely exhausts himself.
Another important factor is the attitude towards an unpleasant situation that a person is offended by. There are people who, over time, are ready to forgive the opponent, even if he does not ask for it. Others sometimes cannot cope with the feeling of abandonment and rejection all their lives, they do not forgive and do not forget insults. It's really scary. A person who has not learned to cope with grievances will inevitably make himself sick in the future, it will be very difficult for him to live.
What comfort?
If you've ever been hurt by someone and don't know how to deal with the overwhelming feeling of being insulted, the following tips will help you. First of all, you should understand one simple thing: the more you carry resentment in yourself, the more it grows inside you. Stop feeding her, cherish her, and she will gradually melt away. Realize that you are only harming yourself. Resentment is, in fact, a living organism that reacts to how you feel about it. If you give him a lot of attention, he begins to grow andstrengthen. Do you need it? It is necessary to choose a way to forgive the offender. It is best if there is a direct connection with him. But even in the case when it is not possible to interact directly with him, you can let go of resentment from your heart. To do this is actually not as easy as it seems. You need to work on yourself and sincerely wish for the forgiveness of this person. If you think he deserves to be punished, then deep down you are still not ready to heal yourself.
A very good method is distraction. Works flawlessly. Find a hobby you like and do it in your free time. For some, knitting is suitable, for others, reading books or collecting dolls. Distraction is useful because it allows you to occupy anxious thoughts with something new, switch your attention and enjoy the process.
How to stop being offended?
For some people, resentment is synonymous with life. The accumulation of negative emotions occurs so often that it is not surprising. In order not to aggravate the situation even more, you need to learn how to get rid of your “reserves” in time. How to do it? Realize that everyone is different. This is quite difficult to understand, because we tend to evaluate people through the prism of our own feelings all the time. Although it is difficult, try to put yourself in the place of the offender. Reflect on what motivated him at the time of your quarrel. Maybe he did not want to offend you at all, you just reacted so sharply? It is best to do an analysis of feelings in writing, then highthe likelihood that you will forgive faster.
How to strengthen family relationships
A sincere trusting relationship is the ultimate dream of every normal person. Only, unfortunately, not everyone manages to be completely sincere with himself and people. It is necessary to learn to understand your partner well enough so that you do not hold a grudge against him over trifles. Try to spend more time together, respect his or her choice, make pleasant surprises for each other. If something happened between you, find it out right away, on the same day, do not wait until the cup of patience overflows.
Thus, quarrels, resentments are the lot of weak, insecure people. A strong person always understands what he needs and seeks to understand his neighbor. You need to make every effort to get rid of resentment. The more pain a person carries in himself, the worse it is for him: he alth suffers, the general psychological background, the likelihood of oncological diseases increases. Get rid of resentment - and life will seem easier!
