Learning to influence other people is not easy. However, knowing the subtleties of psychology will help you learn how to do this. It takes a lot of practice, but eventually the behavior we recommend in this article will become a habit. So, how to influence a person?
There are many ways. However, Dale Carnegie gave the most effective advice to his readers. How to influence people, he told in his book "How to win friends …". This is the most famous book of the famous writer and orator. The advice he gives is very valuable. We will also discuss most of his recommendations.
Can people be manipulated?
Of course you can. However, it is important to consider: you will not be able to hypnotize the right person. But it is quite possible to convince. And the highest degree of skill is to make him believe that he himself made this decision. How to achieve this? First of all, it is necessary to build relationships based on mutualsympathy. Self-confident people with eloquence and sincerity always enlist the support of others.
Before you start practicing influencing other people, think about why you need it. You need a specific goal. Without it, you are unlikely to succeed in this field.
Smile is everything
She has the interlocutors to each other. She demonstrates friendliness and willingness to cooperate. We unconsciously have sympathy for those who greet us with a smile. And in response, we begin to smile just as contagiously. And the smile should be sincere. People subconsciously recognize fakeness.
Besides, a sincere smile also affects your emotional state and improves your mood at times. It reduces stress and stimulates mental activity. So smile as often as possible.
Approval, not criticism
Dale Carnegie notes that people's desire to receive praise from others is very high. Therefore, if you want to achieve someone's favor and willingness to provide service, you must show yourself as a person who is grateful and generous with praise, and not prone to criticism.
So, Abraham Lincoln in his younger years often ridiculed his opponents. Until one of the people offended by him challenged him to a duel. Since then, Abraham has learned to be more tolerant of the shortcomings of others. During the Civil War, when his associates spoke harshly about the southerners, he even remarked: "Don't criticize them. In similar circumstances, we would be exactly the same."
It takes a strong character and even the ability to empathize not to judge others and to forgive their mistakes and imperfections. Never criticize anyone, especially in the company of other people.
Learn to sincerely praise people, thank more often and apologize if necessary. To achieve sincerity towards others will help a certain way of thinking. The poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson claimed that every person he met was superior in some way. And one should always be ready to consider these virtues and acknowledge them.
Get involved and interested
Benjamin Disraeli once said, "Talk to a man about himself and he will listen to you for hours."
People are primarily interested in themselves, so they are always pleased to meet a person who shares this interest. Psychologists advise to talk less and listen more. The one who does not know how to listen and constantly talks about himself is an egoist who cannot evoke positive emotions in others.
Frequently ask your interlocutor questions on topics of interest to him and nod sympathetically in response to his remarks. Sigmund Freud knew how to show his interest in the interlocutor so skillfully that he relaxed and talked about all his secret experiences.
Theodore Rooseveld carefully prepared before meeting with a new acquaintance - he studied his hobbies, as he understood that the way to a person's heart lies through a discussion of his interests. Moreover, he also took the time to talk to the staff and learn more aboutevery person. He knew the names of all the servants. The latter treated him with great sympathy. He showed people that he appreciated them - and in return he received much more.
Call by name more often
The sound of one's own name is pleasant for everyone. Dale Carnegie believed that it is part of the personality and seems to confirm the fact of its existence. This makes the interlocutor feel positive emotions towards the one who says his name.
Also, Dale Carnegie advises to memorize (or rather write down) important information about the right people. For example, date of birth, marital status, number of children. This will help to win the favor of a person and exert a significant influence on him if necessary.
Avoid arguments
They say that truth is born in a dispute. However, psychologists say that in practice, each opponent has his own opinion. Therefore, in essence, the dispute is an absolutely useless waste of time and effort.
By arguing, you are trying to prove to a person that he is wrong. That is, you consider yourself much smarter and more experienced than him in this matter. And even if it is, you are degrading the other person.
As a result, both sides have a conflictogen, which easily develops into a conflict situation. And it won't lead to anything good. However, you will part as enemies.
Dale Carnegie, explaining how to influence a person, advises not to enter into controversy at all. Of course, you can also express your opinion. However, be sureadd that this is just your point of view. At the same time, Carnegie advises to think about the opinion of another person in more detail before proving the opposite with foam at the mouth.
However, if an argument is unavoidable, try to remain calm and confident. Before the conversation, think carefully about your own arguments. Your opinion must be supported by facts that the interlocutor cannot refute. Only then will you win this controversy.
Admit your mistakes
Dale Carnegie advises learning to admit your own wrong. And you need to do this before the interlocutor points out to you. Admit your mistake quickly and decisively. Thus, you will satisfy the vanity of the interlocutor, and a little later he will decide to show indulgence and generously forgive you.
Carnegie himself once used his tactics on an officer of the law. He found him walking his dog in the park without a muzzle. However, Dale did not allow him to file charges, sincerely assuring that he was very sorry for his misconduct and would not do it again. As a result, the policeman released him without a fine. Yes, and you will agree that criticizing yourself is much more pleasant than allowing others to do it.
Use your opponent's weakness
Please note that a tired person is more receptive to the arguments or beliefs of the interlocutor. The thing is that fatigue affects the level of psychic energy, reducing it. If you ask a tired person for a favor, you will most likely getthe next answer is: "OK, I'll do it tomorrow." The good news is that he most likely will still do it. After all, people who do not keep their promises suffer from psychological discomfort.
If you need to ask someone for a favor, it's a good idea to apply the three-yes rule. The first few of your remarks should make the interlocutor want to agree with you. For example: "What a beautiful tie! Probably a branded item?". After two affirmative remarks, your interlocutor agrees to fulfill any of your requests.
Reflect
Repeat your own words more often, but in a different context. This will cause a flash of friendly disposition towards you. This technique is especially often used by psychotherapists.
Moreover, when communicating, many people subconsciously begin to copy the behavior of the interlocutor, his facial expressions and gestures. This is the effect people have on others. However, this can also be done for a specific purpose. After all, people tend to be sympathetic to those who are similar to them.
Influencing others with intonation
A person's activity is influenced by his subconscious. You just need to get to him, bypassing the wary consciousness. To do this, psychologists recommend using intonation.
Imagine that you are in a group of people who need to be set up to receive positive emotions. You start telling them about some neutral or funny event (watching a movie,conversation with a child, etc.), especially emphasizing intonation such words as "pleasant", "cheerful", "relaxed". You can even pronounce them with an arrangement. People listening to you automatically try on these images for themselves - and now the atmosphere in the room is much less tense.
The main thing is to make sure that you do not inadvertently give people a negative attitude. How to have a negative impact on a person? It's very simple - just highlight words like "bad", "sad", "tragic" with intonation.
Conclusion
Now you know the seemingly insignificant factors that affect a person. Such methods of manipulation are especially effective in the business sphere. When you have to communicate with a large number of colleagues, knowing how to influence a person is very important. And you need to do this in such a way that he does not convict you of this. Now you know how to influence a person.
In your personal life, these tricks can also come in handy. So feel free to practice them on your loved ones and see what effect you manage to achieve.
