Most likely, you have experienced an inexplicable sense of responsibility to someone, as if you owe something to someone - this is a sense of duty. You cannot explain to yourself why it occurs, but nevertheless you feel it. Let's try to figure out what it is and why people experience it.
Definition of concept
A sense of duty is a feeling within ourselves, formed in us from birth. It is influenced by the people we grow up around and how we are raised and taught.
When it appears, it tells us what we should do, no matter why. We get the impression that we just have to.
Of course, quite often people only see what others owe them. They make their demands not only to close people, but to the whole society. In addition, they are completely sure that they are right. However, these are just details. Each of us owes something to someone and, probably, a person does not have enough life to pay off all debts.
A sense of duty and responsibility is well received in society, itcultivated and praised, which is not surprising, because it forces people to do their job. It doesn't matter if you have a desire for it or not, you must, and therefore you must, so do it. When a sense of duty pushes a person to do something, then questions on his part are absolutely inappropriate.
In addition, few people ask themselves why I owe something. And in the case when it concerns myself, did I or other people decide so?
Influence on a person
The problem with a sense of duty is that, being in such a state, a person becomes less self-confident, his self-esteem decreases. He begins to feel hopeless. A person asks questions about how significant he is, and, most likely, comes to not the best conclusions. In this case, other people are more important for a person, and not himself.
However, life is short, it is foolish to spend it constantly thinking about your importance and why everything is this way and not otherwise. After all, if a person proves to himself and to the whole world that he is significant, his vitality goes away, and his emotional and physical state also worsens.
Building a sense of duty
Why do we get this feeling? For example, a child should go to kindergarten, but perhaps he does not like it and does not want it. Therefore, we can say that the education of a sense of duty in a person begins from early childhood.
After kindergarten, he is sent to school, they expect good grades from him, they write him downdifferent sections, but his parents do it, because it’s accepted, it’s necessary, but does he want it himself? In most cases, the child's opinion is not asked at all.
You need to attend school in order to enter a good university, get a higher education, which is necessary for employment in a well-paid job. Various sections are needed for general development and broadening of horizons, according to parents.
Children start attending and learning English from early childhood. Nobody asks if they want it. Parents think they should do it. Children listen and follow instructions so as not to upset mom and dad, which is why they learn English.
All of the above are common examples of duty.
Psychologists' opinion
Psychologists have their own opinion on this matter. They define duty as a person's acceptance of the responsibilities of others. Many confuse feelings of gratitude with guilt towards someone, so they try to get rid of this feeling by doing their job.
It often happens that a person has an internal conflict of feeling and duty. Being in such a state and communicating with people around, a person has an inexplicable feeling, it seems to him that he owes them something. Most often, the answer to this behavior lies in his childhood.
It is not uncommon for parents to take very strong care of their child, completely controlling his actions. They do not give him the right to choose and make all decisions for him. This behavior of parents can lead to the fact that when the child grows up, he will not be able to independently choose what he needs.
After all, when he was little, his parents decided absolutely everything for him. They told him who to be friends with, where to play, when to eat and how much he can rest. Such overprotection leads to the fact that the child is constantly in a tense state.
He has a fear of making a mistake, of doing something wrong, because by doing so he will upset his parents, who care so much about him. As a result, over time, this will have a deplorable effect on his determination. As an adult, he will constantly seek support and also avoid making big decisions, because he is used to having it always done for him.
How the “debtor” thinks
In the future, a child who grew up in such a family will be afraid to decide anything on his own, so it is easier and better for him to do what others say. For example, the same parents.
It will be normal for him not to pay attention to his needs and interests. Instead, he will put others before himself.
Such a person has a sense of duty to parents, employees, teachers, friends and just acquaintances. The opinion of others for him is not subject to doubt, he will unquestioningly obey and agree in everything.
Consequently, the child develops a highly inflated sense of duty due to overprotection. The love of parents should not have a bad effect on the child, so it is necessary to give him the will and rightchoice. This is necessary so that in the future he does not turn into someone who is ready to do anything just to be noticed and praised.
Busting with debt
An exaggerated sense of duty is what makes a person insecure. He suffers from low self-esteem and considers himself inferior, so he pleases others in every possible way. Such a person completely forgets about himself.
He devotes all his energy to satisfying the desires and needs of others, so he constantly lacks vitality.
This behavior leads not only to a lack of understanding of one's value and significance, but also to a rejection of one's personality. Man does not love himself.
How to deal with a sense of duty?
In order for this feeling to disappear, first of all, you need to understand who you really did wrong. You need to ask these people for forgiveness and just let go of the situation. This is especially recommended when the material aspect is absent. When you receive forgiveness, the guilt will go away, and in return you will feel gratitude.
Never forget that you don't really owe anything to anyone. You do not need to adapt to others, try to live up to their ideals in order to earn praise and approval. Only you can reward yourself with this. The same goes for your opinion - don't force it on others.
If you feel a sense of duty to your family, friend or soulmate, then you livethis man's life, forgetting about his own.
The problem of a sense of duty is solved quite simply. First of all, it is necessary to recognize that it really exists. Then realize that only you can improve your life and make it simple and comfortable. It is up to you, don't waste precious time serving others.
It is recommended to replace the word "duty" with the word "I want", in which case it will be easier for you to perceive and also fulfill what you think are your duties.
Things to always remember
Only you create yourself and are the creator of your own destiny. All your actions, thoughts and feelings affect your life and the pleasure you get from it.
Never doubt that you are valuable just because you exist. After all, each person is unique and significant. You are already a person, so you don't need to please others to feel useful and important. This in itself is so. A sense of duty is not a sentence, it is wrong thinking that is easy to correct. Pull yourself together and be responsible only for your own life, and do not live someone else's.
