Do you often think about who is close to you? We take the people around us for granted: some come into our life, others leave it, but subconsciously we always feel who can be trusted and who cannot, who is close to us in spirit. Many are looking for a loved one for a long time. What should it be and how to find it - we will consider in this article.
Definition in psychology
In psychology there is a term "psychological intimacy". According to the famous psychotherapist Erik Erikoson, the definition is: "the desire and ability of people to take care of each other, to be able to give everything without a trace, while not being afraid to lose themselves."
Eric Berne defined intimacy as "a person's game-free, sincere behavior that usually does not lead to trouble until some kind of game intervenes." Under the gamethe psychotherapist meant in this case deceit, competition, manipulation, including on a subconscious level. Such relationships soon tire partners, as a result of which the feeling of intimacy disappears.
According to V. V. Makarov: in a relationship, everyone should be with a kind of psychotherapist for each other, who in any situation can support his soul mate. Sometimes, instead, a traumatic factor occurs between a couple, namely dependence on a person, a pronounced hierarchy, total control, and more. This all leads to the destruction of relationships.
Each person gives a definition of this concept. Some believe that a loved one is someone who is always there and can support in difficult times. Life refutes this statement, as close ones can be a thousand kilometers apart.
Others think that a loved one and a loved one are one and the same. And to some extent, it is. Feelings of love and kinship, in fact, are synonymous. A person who is consanguineous most often turns out to be close. But still, the main criterion is not the similarity of DNA, but a warm relationship. Thus, a close person is someone who respects your opinion and is always ready to help.
Parents
Undoubtedly, one of the most important and close people in life are parents. After all, it is they who help the baby take the first steps and become a full-fledged personality. Mom and dad are always worried about their children, they know how to sincerely rejoice for success, and alsohelp in any situation, not only in word, but also in deed. Therefore, their advice and approval is important even for an adult and accomplished person. Of course, not everyone can classify their parents as close people. But their place, as a rule, is occupied by other relatives. It can be uncles, aunts, grandfathers or grandmothers. People who sincerely wish you well and are interested in your success are the dearest and closest.
Child
Child for each parent is the closest person. The continuation of you and the whole family lies in children, for this reason people protect their offspring and value them. Despite the fact that children grow up quickly and move away from their parents, they still experience some kind of connection. It is important that there is trust between them. Sincere participation in the life of the child and moral support help everyone feel protected and needed. The life of every person becomes full when there is a clear confidence that he is loved and appreciated.
A close person is you
Many people are afraid of loneliness and are always in search of "their man". Sometimes, in the eternal search, they forget about the development of their own personality. And solitude, where you can be alone with yourself, promotes personal growth.
You must always be mentally prepared for the fact that a person can be left alone, as children grow up, loved ones can leave, and parents also do not last forever. Do not forget that there is always a close person next to you - it is you. Some individuals are notendure loneliness, even within one day they become bored. But it’s worth considering how others will be interested in that person who is bored with himself. It is important sometimes to be alone and listen to your true desires and thoughts. Such practices contribute to finding peace of mind and peace.
Brothers and sisters
As a rule, blood relatives, including brothers and sisters, are considered close people. The main reason lies in the fact that the interests and worldview in the family circle, as a rule, coincide. There are times when, when communicating with a loved one, you notice a similarity in thoughts. This is what allows you to understand that someone shares your point of view, and thus you feel not alone.
Sisters and brothers often swear among themselves, but with age, as a rule, this happens much less often, because it comes to the understanding that life can separate them from friends, but not from blood relatives. Blood ties are stronger than friendships. Relatives are valuable for every person, not only because of the reflection of their own personality in them, but also because of the presence of joint warm memories.
Spouses
Finding a soul mate is considered a great success. As a rule, sooner or later everyone is looking for their soul mate in order to subsequently become a husband or wife. But to become close people for each other will not work right away. Sometimes a couple needs to overcome certain difficulties,so that understanding and trust arise between them, which is the basis for creating and maintaining a strong alliance. Despite the fact that a wife or husband is chosen of their own free will, their life paths can diverge after a certain amount of time. It also happens that close people become strangers. Anything can serve as a reason for this, but one of the main ones is a change in life values and the loss of common interests.
How do we attract a loved one?
Every day we come across different people: everyone has their own appearance, timbre of voice, life position. But among them we sometimes meet a person close to us.
According to the law of physics, opposites attract. But in some respects it does not always work, because there must be something in common. It is not for nothing that at various events a silent and talkative person is seated at the table, in order to avoid boredom and aggressive clashes. Thus, they complement each other in some way.
The closest person does not have to be of the opposite sex or a relative. Undoubtedly, the family is the most precious value that is worth protecting. But despite this, you can meet a close person in spirit, while not being blood relatives. An example of this is male friendship, in which the relationship is not to a friend, but as to a brother. When close people are nearby, we feel carefree and calm.
What makes us close?
There is no single answer to this question,because everyone has their own life stories and cases. But we can say with confidence that relations between close and dear people are built on mutual understanding, respect, attentiveness and gratitude. You need to be able to compromise, understand and forgive. After all, it is close people who know how to feel each other.
Dreams
What is the dream of a loved one? Undoubtedly, dreams with them visit us much more often than others. This is due to the fact that it is about them that we think and experience more often. Thus, it can be assumed that such dreams are a reflection of our attitude towards them. In many dream books, illness or death of loved ones and relatives is interpreted as an improvement in he alth and long life. But there are other meanings, depending on different details. In addition, for example, the death of a loved one may portend his wedding soon.
In the case when you dreamed of a congenial person whom you have not seen for a long time, then such a dream can promise an important event associated with him or an early meeting. Also, relatives can dream of unexpected surprises, good news and changes. To dream of a loved one in good he alth is a good sign for both.
But despite the huge number of positive values, there are also negative ones. When asked why a loved one dies or gets sick in a dream, certain dream books say that in real life this leads to tense and difficult relationships. They also warn you of an important test in the near future.
The death of a loved one in a dream canmean a serious loss. Also, this may indicate that there is a disagreement between you, which should be resolved in the near future with the help of a frank conversation. If you dreamed of a loved one with whom you are currently in a quarrel, then such a dream can be considered as an important sign for reconciliation.
As it turned out, there are many options for interpreting certain dreams, both positive and negative. However, it is up to you to decide which option to choose.
Illusion of proximity
Proximity to a person is periodically confused with "commodity-consumer relations". But at its core, true intimacy lies in a caring attitude and desire to learn and discuss the needs of your partner, which will later turn into mutual respect for each other.
Real intimacy from illusion, according to psychologists, is characterized by a willingness to compromise in various situations. After all, if people are really close, then the needs of each are taken into account in a couple and ways of implementation are found, because a sense of comfort is important for both partners and that is why they achieve a favorable atmosphere through joint efforts.
It is impossible to achieve complete psychological intimacy in a short time. This process takes place over a long period of time, only when people take steps towards each other. But everyone tends to change throughout their lives, in this regard, you can study your partner forever. Thus, we can conclude that proximity has no logical conclusion. Intimacy is the need to constantly monitor a person's reactions and listen to their desires.
In closeness, studying your person and observing changes plays an important role, which is actually an interesting process, because personal development has no boundaries, you just need to support and help him in this if necessary.
How to find your soul mate
Every person, by nature, cannot be alone for a long time. Therefore, sooner or later he will be in search of people close to him, with whom he will feel truly happy.
Don't just rely on fate and wait for a soul mate to find you. The following advice from psychologists can help in your search:
- Be alone with yourself more often and sort out your inner world and determine your true goals and desires.
- Chat as much as possible with new people of different ages and social status. Try to be as open and sincere as possible, this is the only way you can meet your like-minded people.
How not to lose a loved one
In everyday life, our relationships with loved ones are tested for strength every day. Undoubtedly, in any relationship, sometimes there are quarrels, misunderstandings and conflicts. But do not forget: in order to achieve a favorable homely atmosphere, you need to work on yourself. But initially you need to be confident in your partner, to clearly know what he wants for you.happiness and is ready to work on relationships with you. If you are connected by common views and life positions, then you are already on the right track. The following rules will help strengthen relationships and become a close person for your chosen one:
- Any he althy relationship is built on respect and care.
- Do not limit the chosen one in personal space.
- Don't forget that no one is perfect.
- Don't try to change your partner. Remember, everyone is unique in their own way, and with the help of support and help, you can raise their self-esteem and improve relationships.
- In any situation, do not forget about decency.
- Check out your other half's hobbies.
- Learn to express your love with respect and to pay attention to your loved one.
- Undoubtedly, everyone is special, who has his own point of view, personal qualities, priorities and ideas. But despite this, it is necessary to accept it as it is and work on relationships in the team. It is through joint work that you can reach any heights much faster. Do not forget what unites you. Common interests and hobbies help to strengthen an alliance that needs to be cherished. But differences between close people are an integral part of he althy relationships.
- Never humiliate your partner or allow yourself to insult him, even when you are very angry. Whatever the circumstances, it is unacceptable: a rude attitude, a discussion of his shortcomings both in private, and even more so, surrounded by third parties.
- As often as possible, support your chosen one in his plans and self-expression. To avoid the feeling of a wall between you, it is important to show empathy and patience to each other, if necessary, and also try not to show jealousy and distrust.
- When there is a quarrel, do not postpone reconciliation until tomorrow.
- Be an example and be the first to apologize. To a loved one, you must be noble, open, generous and always ready for reconciliation.
- Don't shift problems onto your partner. The joint solution of various kinds of situations contributes to the rallying of relations.
- Try to spend more time with each other. The general pleasant pastime is only good for the relationship. Watch movies together more often, talk more on various topics, remember interesting joint moments from life, make plans, dream and laugh more, then your life together will sparkle with new colors.
