In modern society, one can often find such a trend when a girl does not want to give birth. It would seem that the desire for motherhood is inherent in female nature. This instinct manifests itself in different ways depending on the internal psychological readiness. Many ladies, especially the older generation, generally believe that the main purpose of a woman is to have children and take care of them. However, not everyone decides to realize themselves as a parent. Not every woman is really touched by small hands and feet. Not everyone wants to raise a child for many years, to pass on the accumulated experience to him.
Someone prefers to closely engage in their own lives, set themselves serious goals and strive to achieve them. Let us consider in more detail the reasons why women of fertile age do not want to give birth. All of them, one way or another, affect relationships with oneself or other people. very valuablelisten to the opinion of experienced professionals in family affairs. It is important to understand yourself, to understand where the roots of the situation come from.
The origin of the problem
In any difficult situation, it is important to understand what is really happening. Otherwise, an internal conflict will inevitably develop, which will not be so easy to resolve. In order for a problem to arise and form in principle, good reasons are required. Perhaps understanding will not come immediately, but it is necessary to strive for this.
Fear of responsibility
The most common reason that prevents the birth of an heir. The girl does not want to give birth to children when she is extremely unsure of herself, that she will be able to become a good mother. Fear of responsibility sometimes presses very hard, does not allow you to realize your best aspirations and dreams. People do not understand that they are thus not allowing themselves to become happy. Afraid to plan the appearance of a child, a woman only closes herself more tightly, does not allow her soul to open towards an amazing understanding of the essence and meaning of life.
Fear of responsibility comes from self-doubt. When in our existence there are already many disappointments, it becomes absolutely not up to giving life to someone else. The individual begins to be afraid to make a mistake, to do something wrong. The existing negative experience emerges like an avalanche. As a result, the situation begins to be controlled by fears, and not at all true ones.intentions of the individual.
Uncertainty in partner
This aspect plays an important role. In a harmonious relationship, both partners give and receive equally. Uncertainty about the intentions of the partner and the future in common with him blocks the desire to have a child. A woman may even begin to think that she doesn’t need it at all, they say, I don’t want to have children and that’s it. In fact, internal psychological protection works. It becomes easier to give up the opportunity to become a mother than to overcome numerous difficulties. If we are not confident in our loved one, then the understanding comes that in the event of difficulties, we will have to rely only on ourselves. Without support, it is quite difficult to achieve anything.
The fact is that not every girl can have a strong core in order to shift the sole care of the child onto her own shoulders. Alone, it is very difficult to overcome difficulties, to cope with emerging obstacles. The fact is that a woman herself wants to feel protected. She can not bear the thought that there will be nowhere to wait for help and understanding. When the second half cannot be relied upon, the girl has to shoulder everything on her own shoulders. Sometimes it makes you despair and stop believing in your own prospects.
Fear of pain
In some cases, the soul is tormented by the fear of something uncontrollable. We sometimes do not even realize how much our lives are controlled by fears and phobias. Childbirth is an incredibly difficult process, both physically and mentally. Everyone who has gone through thisas a rule, it forces out painful moments of contractions and attempts from memory. Sometimes a woman can be incredibly afraid of this, which tells herself and others that she does not want to have children. The fear of pain is sometimes so rooted in the mind that it pushes out the most secret dreams and desires. Consciousness begins to concentrate only on the negative, missing bright moments.
In difficult times it is impossible to think about happiness. If a girl does not want to give birth, fearing severe pain, then she needs to reconsider her beliefs. After all, treating life in this way, you can miss the brightest moments in it. Refusing to experience the joy of motherhood, we block our vital energies, we go against our nature. After all, it’s probably worth being patient once than trying to prove to yourself all your life that it would be better without a child. Saying to herself: “I don’t want to give birth, I’m afraid of pain,” a woman thereby severely limits her feminine nature, does not allow herself to experience happiness.
Psychological immaturity
It's about an infantile attitude to life. When all concerns are reduced to satisfying one's own needs, there are no necessary resources for achievements. A person begins to concentrate only on his own momentary whims. Of course, this does not lead to anything good, since it is not possible to fully realize the inherent potential. Psychological immaturity implies that a woman does not want to give birth and educate precisely because she is afraid of the ongoing changes. She constantlyconcentrates on his fears instead of taking full action.
Developed infantilism does not allow taking responsibility for the life of a little man. When we are afraid to take responsibility, then desires tend not to come true. The problem that a woman does not want to give birth is often that she is afraid of losing her freedom.
Lack of money
Unstable financial situations often make people put off having a baby. This is quite fair, because a child should not just endure and give birth. It is also extremely necessary to be able to educate and give him a good education. If there are no opportunities, then it is better to reconsider your life, try to correct some points in it in advance. When women do not want to give birth, there is always something behind it. Just like that, no one refuses their joy, the happiness of motherhood. Lack of money is a serious reason. If financial problems cannot be resolved in time, then it may happen that a decision will never be made. After all, you don’t want to doom a little person to suffering and need. When there are no sufficient material opportunities, many decide not to have children. This applies to both married couples and single women who have nowhere to get the necessary help and support. Today, many women put off the moment of having a baby. They have a chance to come to conscious parenthood or forget about their desire forever. It must be admitted that everyone has the right to choose whathe will be closer.
Reluctance to give away
When a woman lacks the desire to care and love, she says to herself: "I don't want to give birth." At the same time, a lady may well be successful in other areas: build a successful career, engage in art, science or dance. The reluctance to give is most often associated with emotional tightness. The presence of certain fears does not allow you to express your true desires. The inability to properly express feelings leads to unpleasant consequences. The fear of facing disappointment often prevents you from making the right decision. You can think for years about the fact that “I don’t want to have children at all,” but if the willingness to do this comes, as a rule, they don’t refuse it. A person himself must feel the presence of inner strength in himself, which will lead him to the desired result.
Only in this case it will be possible to talk about the fact that a deliberate step has been taken, which you will not have to regret later. The reluctance to give, as a rule, is associated with the fear of getting a bright negative reaction in response. The more traumas received in childhood and adolescence, the more difficult it is to accept the ongoing changes in life.
Career Focus
Quite often in the modern world, a woman chooses career advancement as her primary task, while family values go by the wayside. Some find that they never want to have children at all, others deliberately delay the moment of making a responsible decision. Focus ona career sometimes takes too much strength and energy, does not allow spending years on raising descendants. It's actually very tiring to be torn in two. It is not always possible to take a break and not solve emerging work problems through family dinners and conversations.
If the wife does not want to give birth, the husband may fall into despair and even begin to suffer. This is how families collapse, misunderstanding and emptiness grow. Often, modern girls feel confident only when they are able to earn enough money to satisfy any of their needs. Many people ask what to do if you do not want to give birth? Of course, you don't have to force yourself. It is necessary to revise your beliefs gradually, focusing primarily on your own values. Only then can you truly take responsibility for your life. If you constantly scold yourself, the situation will not change for the better. After analyzing the individual situation, it will be possible to understand what choice should be made in the future.
Complex family relationships
If there is no mutual understanding between spouses, it becomes very difficult to plan the birth of an heir. It is very important for a woman to feel that she has the opportunity to count on some kind of support from a man. Unsure of a future together with this person, she may show a reluctance to have a child. She sometimes has to suppress her maternal instinct, say: “I don’t want to give birth,” instead of starting to listen to her own desires. Difficult family relationships oftenare an obstacle to the development of a deep internal conflict, which begins to control the entire situation. Instead of solving disturbing problems, people close in on themselves and do not want to act.
When there is no trust, mutual respect, it becomes very difficult to maintain inner harmony, to come to an understanding of the essence of things. A person is forced to constantly build a chain of psychological defenses instead of starting to act actively, with a maximum focus on the desired result.
The arrival of the second child
In principle, not every family goes to this. If a woman finds that she does not want to have a second child, she needs to understand if this is her desire. Very often, various stereotypes and beliefs are imposed on us from the outside. If we stop listening to our own voice, we invariably get bogged down in fear and doubt. Sometimes it becomes scary just to make this fateful decision. The reason is simple: you will have to rebuild the whole way of life, change your habits, your views on the world. An accomplished mother can hardly think only of herself. For her, the needs and needs of the baby should come to the fore. When a girl thinks: “I don’t want to have a second child,” it is quite possible that she is simply not ready for this yet. Some people are turned away from this serious step by the presence of problems with their spouse, the other is afraid to be alone, the third is to lose freedom. For example, if the eldest son or daughter has already gone to first grade, the mother is unlikely to want to mess around with the baby again, devote a lot of time to him. When there are more childrenthan one, attention needs to be distributed between them, which is not always possible to do. Someone will still get less, because in the conditions of modern reality, when the degree of employment is simply colossal, it is not always possible to think about significant changes in your life.
Fear of losing freedom
A very common reason that many women often realize in their head. Fear is formed from ignorance of how to distribute personal resources in such a way as not to infringe on oneself, and to be able to give the baby everything he needs. The fear of losing personal freedom is quite common among women of childbearing age. This is not surprising: after all, there is responsibility for the life of another person, small and helpless. It must be said that the modern rhythm of life often requires maximum dedication and concentration from a person. Sometimes there is simply not enough time left for a child, because you have to urgently solve many different issues. The fear of losing freedom is sometimes so strong that it blocks any desires of a person, prevents understanding the necessary situations. If there are installations inside that the child can become a hindrance, then the decision can be made for years. Unfortunately, not everyone then decides on such experiments.
Failed pregnancy
If the previous experience of bearing a baby ended tragically, then subsequently there is a fear of a repetition of the situation. A woman discovers the following thought in herself: they say, I don’t want to give birth myself, it would be great to use the services of surrogate motherhood. On thein fact, this is also a veiled evasion of responsibility. Some people recognize this method as very original, but accept the decision of the unit. An unsuccessful pregnancy leaves an imprint on later life, forming a steady reluctance to reproduce.
If it was not possible to give birth not once, but several times, girls often despair, they begin to believe that no one can help them with anything. Simply there is a fear for the he alth, the further well-being. The very desire to have children gradually transforms into an obsessive state. Life begins to be ruled by fears, sometimes panic attacks occur, turning into a feeling of complete horror and own helplessness. Unfortunately, few dare to ask for help. Some people continue to carry everything in themselves for years, not seeing the opportunity to rethink the situation and come to a definite decision. Personal experience, certain beliefs matter here.
Meaningful attitude
In some rather rare cases, women really do not want to have children, and this intention is true. The fact is that not every person needs to acquire offspring to feel their own happiness. Some may well be happy devoting themselves to their favorite work, creativity, or realizing their own strengths in a career. A meaningful position does not imply the existence of certain justifications. It's just that a person allows himself to do what he likes, does not justify himself to anyone and does not make accusatory speeches. A true decision is always made in sound mind, calmly and measuredly. If this is a truthful decision, then it does not occur to anyone to justify themselves, to endlessly speculate and guess. A meaningful attitude always involves accepting responsibility. In this case, you do not have to blame others for your own failures. It is extremely important to understand what you can and should strive for.
Reviews of psychologists
When a woman says to herself: “I don't want to have any more children,” it means that she is trying to cope with some kind of pronounced internal conflict. Most likely, a fear of responsibility prevails over her, which is not so easy to take on. After all, when there is really no desire to have children, then such a question simply does not come to mind. If the other half constantly imposes on the girl the idea that it is necessary to acquire a large number of offspring, she needs to understand what her soul really wants. You should not think about why you don’t want to have children, but start actively thinking about your own desires. If for some reason the aspirations are not satisfied, then some especially suspicious natures tend to withdraw into themselves. Often on this basis, conflicts arise in the family. You can speculate long and hard why you don’t want to give birth, but the issue will be resolved only after a personal understanding of the problem.
Take your time
Don't push yourself with social stereotypes. If it is considered normal in society to have an offspring before the age of 25-30, this does not mean at all that it is necessary to squeeze your personality into a narrow framework. Take your time, you need to focus on your personality. There is nothing sadder when a person tries to live up to the expectations of others and at the same time forgets about his own needs. It is best to take a little time to understand what you really desire. Then you can remain confident that the decision will be correct, meaningful. There is no need to conform to the opinion of the majority. One should spend life in such a way as to be satisfied with oneself.
Dealing with fears
When numerous phobias fill the heart, it becomes incredibly difficult to make the right decision. Definitely need to work with fears. Only in this case will it be possible to remain true to yourself and really prepare for the appearance of a child. There is no need to constantly adjust to the opinion of society, because the people around you may not know your true needs. Dealing with fears involves working deep into difficult moments that bring emotional distress.
Defining personal boundaries
In order to understand whether you want to have a child or not, you need to be able to listen to your desires. There is nothing worse than trying to please the opinion of the majority, while forgetting about your own aspirations. It will be very useful to define personal boundaries, to understand your own intentions. The true intention differs from the false one in that it does not require any sacrifice from a person, does not force him to step over himself and his needs. It is important to understand what you really want. Then everything else will come into your life effortlessly.
Thus, if a womanannounces to herself or others that she does not want to give birth, this does not mean that she cannot be a good mother. It’s just that at the moment her internal state is controlled by the fear of accepting changes in her own life. Whatever the cause of what is happening, it must be de alt with. Otherwise, this tangle of unsolvable problems will not give you the opportunity to live in peace and make decisions based on your own convictions. It is necessary to comprehend the existing fears and take responsibility for what is happening. Freed from all doubts, new forces will appear for a life of pleasure. This is a very valuable acquisition that everyone should wish for.
