Sooner or later, almost all people face the problem of raising children. Everyone's approach to raising children is different. As they say: how many people - so many opinions. However, this issue has been studied in psychology for a long time and a search is being made for the most appropriate methods of education that contribute to the full development of the child.
Which parenting styles are used by parents
As you know, experts distinguish four styles of parenting:
- authoritarian style (characterized by excessively strict control by parents, suppression of the initiative and will of the child);
- democratic style (characterized by partnership with the child, separation of powers, trust and soft control);
- permissive style (characterized by non-interference in the affairs of the child, excessive freedom and lack of parental control);
- chaotic style (characterized by the lack of a clear line of parental behavior, lack of system and inadequacy of actions in relation to one situation).
It is believed that the best parenting style is democratic. But not everything is so simple. After all, a child is not a robot with a given program, a child is a small person with his own needs, characteristics and requests, so it is impossible to use only one style. Each child needs an individual approach.
Pros and cons of the conniving style
This style has many disadvantages, including the following:
- parents do not give child referral;
- virtually no prohibitions and restrictions;
- lack of clear rules of conduct;
- emotional distance and coldness.
In the process of growth and development, the child needs adult control and intervention, as well as adult support and emotional communication, which parents who adhere to the permissive style cannot provide. But still, as the child grows older, parental intervention should become less and less. Otherwise, what kind of independence can we talk about?
Starting from adolescence, the child must learn independence, as well as be responsible for their actions. Just from this age, it is simply necessary to include elements of a permissive parenting style, which become advantages (if used correctly):
- freedom of choice;
- recognition of the child's right to independence and self-control;
- adjustment of outdated rules of behavior together with the child;
- recognition of the adolescent's right to intimacy and maintaining some distance in emotional relationships.
Combination of different styles in education
Educators and psychologists have long come to the conclusion that it is practically impossible to adhere to only one style, since situations are different and require different influences. In fact, parents have to use elements from different styles, so it's safe to talk about combining parenting styles.
Authoritarian-permissive style will be characterized by a balance between control and laissez-faire. But since both of these styles involve emotional coldness and distance in relationships, when they are mixed, the child will remain deprived of intimacy and trusting relationships.
If you combine a democratic and conniving style, then against the backdrop of partnerships and trust, parental control may decrease. It's fine in adolescence, but undesirable with small children.
Which parenting style is best?
This question is almost impossible to answer because all parents and children are different. Each family is different, so you need to create an individual parenting style that is both stable and capable of development and improvement.
Undoubtedly, upbringing requires a lot of time and effort from parents. But looking at your he althy, happy andsuccessful child, no parent will regret the expended energy. After all, the dream of any parent is for his child to be a full-fledged personality.
