The age of crisis in men falls approximately in the middle of life. It occurs when growing children no longer require much attention, professional activity becomes stable, it would seem that everything will only get better. Depression is common at this age. And more and more people are asking when the midlife crisis ends for men.
Description
The midlife crisis comes when a person realizes that the previously unlimited, seemingly unlimited range of time with which you can do whatever your heart desires, has now been significantly reduced. When half a life passes, the outlook changes dramatically. Gradually, a person realizes that he will not be able to achieve everything. Instead of asking, "What else can I do?" - appears: "What else can I do?"
The last male crisis is a natural stage for almost everyone. During this period, a person experiences anger, depression, a feeling of despondency and monotony in relationships. And this leads to the fact that people turn towards other hobbies,younger female representatives, they are regularly visited by thoughts of cheating on their wife. The crisis age in men becomes a problem for many people, for people with any condition, status. This is a natural phenomenon.
How does it manifest itself?
It looks like a period of complete rethinking. Then people review their previous achievements, life circumstances, decisions, plans, dreams. And it brings certain results. New desires and aspirations arise. They are pushing a man at 45 to change everything. Very often this phenomenon is combined with emotional swings, depressive manifestations, long decisions.
The reason lies in the conclusions that a mature person makes regarding his life. It turns out that, probably, a person has achieved a lot in life, but not as planned, something is missing. Instead of a cottage - an apartment, instead of a shepherd dog - a spitz, and instead of a beauty with a figure of 90-60-90 next to Katya in an old bathrobe with stretch marks and overweight. And often she wonders how to help a man in a midlife crisis.
There are a few things to keep in mind here. First, as a rule, a person can cope with such symptoms on his own. But why, even if he can manage on his own, not use this situation to bring about a change for the better in his life? Create an adventure to work on yourself.
Our life is a road. At the age of 40-50, a person is halfway there. Then you can look back and look at yourself in your youth, remember the dreams, expectations of previous years and compare with the present. Then the big one startsrethinking what's going on. There is not much time left. It is this realization that pushes a man at 60, at 40 to change, sometimes radical. Such a comparison of the dream with the current life is necessary, because it pushes forward to action, allows you to think about your decisions and choices.
Symptoms
Midlife crisis usually affects men around 35-45 years old. Often it goes unnoticed, but despite this, it is people with this course of depression that are especially vulnerable to this condition. The stages of the age crisis are most difficult for people who:
- are sensitive;
- had a difficult childhood - being raised by aggressive parents, the absence of a parent;
- have recently lost someone or broken up with a loved one;
- have he alth problems that get worse in middle age.
Such people will especially benefit from support. The crisis age in men is part of the aging process and the acquisition by a person of a new view of the world over time. It is difficult to define universal symptoms that would make it easy to diagnose this condition in everyone. This is connected, of course, with the fact that the human psyche changes, feelings and emotions are a very individual matter. Nevertheless, we can talk about some symptoms that act as psychological characteristics of age-related crises. These include the following:
- work that I used to like does not bring positive emotions anymore;
- the emergence of interest in violation of ethical standards;
- the appearance of all kinds of depressive manifestations and an acute feeling of constant monotony, nostalgia for the old days;
- dissatisfaction with partner, relationship: they seem excessively insipid, he shifts the blame to the woman;
- appearance of excessive attention to one's own appearance, extremely intense exercise in fitness clubs, buying new clothes;
- decreased interest in wife, intimacy and romantic dates;
- interest in young women - it is during this period that male representatives awaken the strongest passion for those who are much younger than them.
For example, a symptom of such a crisis would be the sudden interest of a 45-year-old man in a 20-year-old girl. It is noteworthy that in his attraction to a young and seductive woman, the male representative proves to himself that he is still afloat.
How to cope?
Keeping the symptoms of such depression affects the partner of the "victim" in the most direct way. For this reason, here are recommendations that will help her directly. So, worth it:
- remind the person going through this period of what you have gone through together;
- keep fit and feel your own attractiveness, so that he also feels that a beautiful partner is nearby;
- realize your and his fantasies in the intimate sphere;
- organize a trip together without children.
Manythey say that the crisis age in men is a condition that is impossible to fight, and you just need to wait out this time. Unfortunately, the period of crisis equally touches both the man and the woman who is his partner. On the one hand, she feels guilty for bringing her husband to such a state, on the other hand, powerlessness, because she cannot always help him.
Development details
A man's midlife crisis can start innocently. So, a man's subjective perception of time at the age of 30 can change - a year that seems unimaginably long to a child, seems much shorter to an adult. Other priorities appear.
The task of development in adolescents is to form a sense of their own identity and integration into a peer group. For young adults (under 25 years of age), the priority is to create close bonds with others, to start a family.
Men in their 30s come to the fore with the need to take care of other people, not just themselves. And halfway through, a person is faced with a dilemma: “What next in life to do? If he chooses the first option, then sooner or later life enters a phase of stagnation and emptiness and a midlife crisis begins.
A person stops caring about loved ones, lives as if he no longer wants to take care of anyone,except for himself. Comfort, laziness, inability to self-sacrifice come to the fore. Since life only for pleasure leads sooner or later to a feeling of emptiness, mental illness can also develop against this background.
Sometimes a midlife crisis manifests itself in the fact that a person who is bored in a stable life acquires an unusual hobby (for example, extreme racing) or goes to look for "real life full of dangers." It happens that the revolution consists in the realization of the desire to connect fate with a woman who is much younger than him, in order to start all over again.
Monkey midlife crisis
Scientists from the University of Edinburgh and the University of Warwick have shown that midlife crises also occur in chimpanzees and orangutans. Observations were made on 500 individuals living in 5 countries. The monkeys were observed by scientists and volunteers. It turned out that in the middle of their lives, animals are much less happy than in their youth and old age. The results of the study may suggest that the midlife crisis is related to evolution, and not to the problems that accompany people, such as divorce, credit, or the need to change a car for a new one.
Risk groups
Is there a particular group of people who are particularly vulnerable to such a threat? Psychologists are unanimous here: the past can influence this. If someone failed to form a full sense of their own identity during puberty, he still does not know who he is, does not accept his ownpersonality, and then fails when trying to establish really deep and mutually beneficial connections with other people. The concentration only on oneself in such a person increases significantly.
When did the term appear?
The term "midlife crisis" was first formulated by Canadian psychologist Elliott Jacques in the 60s of the XX century. But it must be borne in mind that all subsequent studies of this phenomenon show that nothing special happens in men who are "halfway". It seems that personality changes after the age of 40 may show up, but certainly not in all men. But in reality, this phenomenon affects only about 5% of people, and mostly those who have higher education. Males between 40 and 49 years of age are more likely to have more problems with the use of alcoholic beverages, sleeping pills and sedatives than ever before. More often they talk about apathy, less often show enthusiasm for life.
How long does it take?
The crisis lasts an average of 3 to 10 years. All this time, you need to remember that a person still has goals in front of him - you can realize dreams, the implementation of which was planned in his youth - after all, nothing has been lost, you can still set yourself completely new tasks. Middle age is only half of life. Although it depends on the country of residence.
Tips
It's worth trying to accept your age - being middle-aged doesn't have to beconnect their years only with negative feelings. After all, during this period a person becomes much more experienced than before, no longer makes decisions so hastily, enjoys a better financial situation and is more respected than at 20 years old.
Instead of dwelling on the bad, it's worth reflecting on what has been achieved. For example, not to think about the fact that before 45 it was not possible to become a pilot, and the chances decrease with age, but to notice the good: are there successful relationships now, happy and smart children, a stable position at work. It is recommended that you answer yourself the question of whether it is worth making drastic and hasty changes in life at this age and condition.
Conclusion
So, any person can face a similar problem, regardless of his social status, material status, family or physical condition. There are, however, factors that make people more vulnerable to the breakdown associated with new mid-life quests. However, a person who has no prerequisites for a crisis at all can also face a similar phenomenon.
