Understanding other people, their feelings and emotions is an important prerequisite for effective communication and the ability to find a common language. Therefore, most would like to know how to read people, whether it is possible to guess what a person is thinking from facial expressions and gestures, and how to use this information in communication and cooperation. Such a mutual understanding of each other could significantly reduce the time for searching for sincere interlocutors and screening out unsuitable people in life.
Why you need the ability to understand people
One could say that it is not necessary to understand the people around you, it is not necessary to learn to read them like books, because you can communicate without this knowledge. But modern society requires communicative qualities in almost any field of activity. Therefore, you need to increase your emotional intelligence, learn to understand other people and apply this knowledge in practice.
The ability to read people like open books will help you build a dialogue easier and easier, come to a consensus faster, and achieve your goals. This is especially important in working with people, this skill will come in handyto every leader. When you need to get a certain return from subordinates, you need to understand how to get it with the least effort.
Basic rules for understanding the interlocutor
Before trying to read a person like a book, it is important to understand that we learn most of the information about the interlocutor from non-verbal signals, facial expressions, and gestures. And when a person says one thing, and the position of his body and facial expression say something else, the interlocutor develops a double understanding of the situation. And often nonverbal cues are more trustworthy.
Another factor to keep in mind in understanding how to read a person like a book is to understand their needs and desires. Every conversation has a goal, every collaboration and communication leads to certain results. Understanding these goals and desires of your interlocutor will make it possible to correctly interpret all his words and emotions.
No wonder they say: "People are like books, and we read them." Any gesture, look, sigh, change in facial expressions can say much more than a spoken phrase or voiced thought.
Meaning of facial expressions
Many would like to know how to learn to read people like a book, and the first clear page in this "book" may be the ability to understand facial expressions. And not just one part of the face, but a complex. After all, it often happens that the lips smile, and in the eyes there is anger or hatred. The main points of understanding facial expressions can be called the following points:
- When a person reallyhappy, he smiles not only with the corners of his lips, his cheeks also rise, the muscles around the eyes are involved.
- When disgusted or disliked, a person's upper lip rises, and the skin on the forehead around the bridge of the nose wrinkles.
- If anger grows in a person's soul, his lips will be tightly compressed, and his eyebrows will be brought together in the center of the bridge of the nose.
- A sad or sad person droops the outer corners of the eyes, as well as the lips. The gaze becomes distracted.
- A person who is afraid of something involuntarily widens his eyes and opens his mouth. Horizontal wrinkles appear on the forehead.
By remembering these simple signs, you can quickly figure out how to read people, and eventually succeed in it.
Associated factors for understanding interlocutors
When trying to understand and "read" another person, it is important to take into account his life circumstances, hobbies, marital status, he alth, mood and other important factors. For example, from acquaintances one can often hear complaints about the lack of money. But when these words come from an unemployed lonely person, sympathy for him and a desire to help more than from a hard worker who simply does not know how to distribute expenses.
It is important not only what circumstances have developed in the life of a particular person, but also how he relates to them. Understanding this will give a direct answer to the question of how to read people. After all, even one relates to lack of money with ease andconfidence that he will cope, and the other falls into despair, looking for help and support from others. Therefore, it is pointless to draw conclusions from facts alone, you need to take into account various related factors in the life of the interlocutor.
The eyes are the mirror of the soul
The eyes of a person, like no other part of the body or face, can help to understand the interlocutor and find a common language with him. By the eyes you can understand the mood of a person, well-being, and even recognize when he is telling the truth and when he is lying. It is much easier to read eyes with close and familiar people than with strangers. The eyes of a loved one are familiar and understandable, their reaction to certain words is remembered over time, and even reading thoughts by sight becomes possible.
To understand the eyes of a stranger, you can remember a few basic signs:
- If the eyes are wide open and shining, this most likely means the interest and enthusiasm of the interlocutor.
- By how often a person averts their eyes, being interested in their surroundings, one can conclude how involved they are in the conversation.
- If the interlocutor looks away, most likely, he does not want to speak or assumes deception.
- Dim eyes and constricted pupils indicate a negative attitude towards the interlocutor or the topic of conversation.
Eyes can say a lot, and an observant interlocutor can understand much more than lips say.
The ability to ask the right questions
To understand how to read people and find a common language with them, it is important to be able to correctlyto ask questions. Sometimes what matters more is not what to ask, but how to ask it. After all, the same question can be asked in different ways.
To understand a person, you need to be interested in his opinion and attitude to the situation, and not just listen to a dry presentation of facts. The following questions will help with this:
- Why did you do this?
- How did you feel at that moment?
- What are you going to do next?
- What help do you need?
In order for a person to open up and become understandable, it is important to earn his trust. And this can only be done by being sincerely interested in the life and well-being of your interlocutor.
