The departure of parents to work abroad has a negative impact on the emotional status of the child, as it is a major change that occurs suddenly and lasts for months or even years. As a rule, a toddler or teenager does not have the psychological resources necessary to positively adapt to such a change. He does not know the stages of adaptation. In order to minimize the negative influence of the child on the emotional plane, it would be desirable that the entire process of education cover the following stages: information, stabilization, adaptation and transition. The first three stages of adaptation are completed before loved ones go abroad.
Feelings of leaving
Informing a child about the departure of mom or dad is the most difficult task, especially because of the emotional burden. There is no special moment when a parent can talk to a child about care. But the sooner the better, because the child has time to get used to the message. Children need to get real arguments about the parent's motivation to leave. Importantinform him that he is not the reason for his departure. This will help in the stages of social adaptation. If this is not clearly stated, the child may feel guilty about the parent's care.
At the same time, the father (mother) must prepare the ground for the relationship between the baby and the person in whose custody he will remain. It would be preferable if the parent could choose this person together with the child and foresee that the person has the psychological abilities and moral qualities necessary to care for the child. The child should be informed about the practical aspects of the new context, which explains the location, the clear role of the person in whose care he will be, what will change in his life, the responsibilities of children while their parents went to work abroad, what school rules will be. In turn, people who will take on the role of educator need to learn more about the baby (food preferences, his best friends, what he is proud of, what household duties he has to be useful at home, favorite school subjects, etc.). Last but not least, the parent should communicate to the prospective guardian the importance of the children's involvement in all decisions that directly affect him or her. This information succeeds in reducing the level of unpredictability, which makes it easier to build a positive relationship between the child and the caregiver.
Child's fears
The stabilization phase and stages of adaptation of children require their preliminary placement with adults who will remain withhim. Their common goal is to reduce the excitability and emotional state of the little man, so that he feels safe. People who stay with a child should try to reduce the hyperexcitability of the emotional toddler through various methods, and should also provide an environment in which adults continue to establish and maintain the emotional tone of the relationship. The best ways to prevent hyperexcitability are to gradually expose yourself to the new environment and adult consistency.
Trust for adults
Progressive exposure aims to develop and implement trial periods during which the child is placed in a new location. I would like these trial periods to be held with the participation of parents at the beginning. During this trial period, adults should be consistent in their relationship with the child, try to keep promises to him. Only in this way can you be sure of a favorable outcome. The ratio of truth under any circumstances can be considered a "technique" that reduces the fear of the baby, inviting him to trust adults. Clear rules, a special daily program helps to balance the emotional state and the stages of adaptation, as it provides a predictable environment for children: they know where the limits are and what are the consequences of breaking them.
Safe environment
There are a couple of indicators that can show that this step has been completed:
- Children speak easily (with whom they stay)about how difficult their lives are.
- Manage to exhibit social behavior in a new context.
- Consider a new "home" secure environment. May feel uncomfortable, scared, upset.
In the first two stages of the adaptation process (information and stabilization), the child may experience various emotions: anger, anxiety, sadness, shame, guilt, etc. In these moments, he needs a parent who can show that he understands the feelings of the baby and knows about the strength of the situation. Dad or mom should identify the child's experiences, name them and discuss them together, show that this is all very important to them.
Planning and methods
After justifying a sense of security in new relationships, the child can distinguish and recognize their nature and different roles, move from the position of a dependent person to the position of an autonomous person who is able to maintain relationships of interdependence. This is the stage of adaptation. The mission of adults at this stage is to help their child develop their social skills, positive self-esteem, form new relationships with people around him, test his own power of control and trust, acquiring protective skills in the future. A great way to achieve these goals is to develop independent life skills: the ability to manage a budget, act in various situations, talk about safety, the ability to identify and use community resources, plan time, etc.
Mental set of feelings
If the baby has a sense of security in his environment, and if autonomy has developed, the transition can be positive. However, studies have shown that any transition awakens a sense of loss and forgetfulness. To minimize the impact of these feelings, any transition-related action should be predictable (the child knows exactly the day they will stay with the caregiver and should be expected with a positive mental set of feelings).
Confidence in the negative emotional impact of the child when the parent goes to work abroad forces the adult to develop and implement a plan for the reception and adaptation of the baby to the new context in which he will live, thereby trying to prevent serious mental he alth problems (depression, anxiety, etc.).
Steps and steps
To find out if these steps are real, we must first define what the model is so that the utility is not too broad and applies to most people. Descriptions like "everyone experiences suffering in their own way, some go through stages, others don't, some go through several stages, others go through others" don't help much. Such a description cannot be falsified, since everything that happens corresponds to the description and does not tell us anything new. Thus, in this article we will consider the following description: for most people, overcoming serious suffering occurs through five stages. This is similar to the stages of professional adjustment.
Problem with fivestages lies in the fact that they were not developed empirically, that is, experiments were not carried out. They were suggested by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross as a result of her experience with terminally ill patients. If psychology is to be considered a science, it must be based on evidence.
Different models
The five step model has not been scientifically studied, it is the oldest testing exam we have found since 1980. After analyzing all the variables, the authors concluded that the stress associated with the departure of parents persists for many years if the child is not psychologically worked on. More recently, a study has been done that concludes what steps exist, and these have been cited as the first empirical evidence for the model. This will probably be the only confirmation of all these ways of working with children and the stages of adaptation of the worker, therefore it deserves special attention. Many people and their children have been analyzed. The duration of the analysis was two years. The results showed that each of the five stages has a point where it averages a maximum and then decreases, except for decision making. This point increases continuously over time. There is a difference between deferral and acceptance for a child. The child must accept the loss, and not just alleviate it. This person is no more. He must not only suffer less, but also admit that it is not his fault, that everything is going right, that life goes on. The following was also carried out for the concept of stagesstaff adaptation. This is often the most difficult but the wisest step. The parent leaves and nothing can be done to bring him back. All it takes is to move on. These methods are also suitable for such a thing as the stages of adaptation in the organization.
The concept of pain
Pain is a complex and often difficult emotion to understand. Yet each of us has experienced it at least once. And this is because we all inevitably lose someone dear, pain is what we feel from loss. Is this feeling the cause of death of your dear, dear, or other reasons. If, for various reasons, we remain in one of the stages of pain, the process does not end, and therefore we cannot cure it. Everyone who suffers from a loss must go through all the stages in order to truly understand the suffering they have experienced and be healed. Obviously, each person has a different rhythm of going through the stages, and no one is forced to do this when they do not feel in shape.
