The question of how to live with an alcoholic husband (psychologist's advice will be given in our article) began to worry more and more women in our country. People can drink for a variety of reasons: problems at work, lack of finances, lack of attention, and so on. However, today we will not talk about the dangers of alcoholic beverages and the consequences of their abuse. The article will provide practical advice to women who are forced to live with an alcoholic in the family. All information is based on expert advice.
Who is an alcoholic?
The psychology of relationships in a family with an alcoholic husband is quite multifaceted and depends on many individual factors. However, before discussing practical advice from psychologists, it is necessary first to understand who an alcoholic is, since many women, unfortunately, do not see the difference between drinking and a couple.cans of beer after a hard day's work.
The signs of alcoholism are quite similar to those of alcohol abuse, so a definitive diagnosis is often too late. The main feature of alcohol addiction is an irresistible need (not a desire!) to drink an alcoholic beverage, as well as a panic state in case this need is not satisfied. If your husband has a similar symptom, then you should sound the alarm. However, if you forbid him to drink beer from time to time, and he agrees with you without quarrels and scandals, then most likely the man does not have alcohol dependence.
It is also worth noting that alcoholism is more of a psychological addiction than a physical one. That is, individuals with a strong will can drink alcohol for many years and not feel dependent on them. However, if the patient has symptoms of alcoholism, then he first of all needs the support of his relatives and friends, and not censure about his helplessness. If the situation is in a state of neglect, then you should contact a narcologist who will determine the severity of the patient and prescribe the appropriate treatment.
Is it worth living with an alcoholic?
Do you want to leave your alcoholic husband? The advice of psychologists will help you make the right decision. Many argue that leaving such a husband is the only right decision, after which a woman will finally feel happy. However, let's face the truth. There are far fewer men in the world thanwomen, so the representatives of the stronger sex have the right to choose young and beautiful young ladies as brides. How many worthy men will pay attention to a woman who has already been married or even has several children? Most likely, after a divorce, the fair sex will have to live alone all her life, which is quite difficult, so you should correctly assess your opportunities if you decide to leave your alcoholic husband, and also be prepared for the fact that you have to spend the rest of your life in alone.
Of course, in order to resist alcoholism, you will have to stock up on a huge amount of patience, since the process of dealing with this serious illness can stretch for several years. At some points, it may even seem to you that your husband has completely recovered from addiction, but after a certain period of time he may again break loose and start drinking. In this case, many women lose heart and stop fighting the problem altogether or leave the family. Perhaps this way out is partly correct, but it is not always reasonable.
How to live with an alcoholic? The advice of psychologists presented in the following sections of this article will help you understand this issue in more detail.
Spousal dependence on each other
Few people know that living together with a loved one is addictive, as is the use of alcoholic beverages. However, if your husband is addicted to alcohol, then you risk getting serious mental disorders that will not be caused by his addiction, but by yours. More recently, youthey remembered how a young and handsome man courted you, you were madly in love with him and were ready to follow him to the ends of the world. If this feeling has not faded over time, then you may experience severe mental pain when you see your loved one in a state of intoxication. In this case, the woman's feelings are very detrimental to her mental he alth, so psychologists recommend dulling the feeling of love that you feel towards your spouse.
What to do if the husband is an alcoholic? The advice of psychologists suggests that a woman should look less at the past. If you constantly compare moments from the candy-bouquet period with what is happening at the moment, then you risk sinking into depression for a long time. No one says that you need to stop loving your spouse altogether. However, you should forget about warm feelings at a time when he does not deserve them. Just distract yourself from bad thoughts by watching your favorite TV show or reading a book. If your spouse realizes that he behaved ugly towards his beloved, then he will definitely apologize the next morning. If not, then there is no need to worry. Only those people who are ready to accept your love are worthy of your love. For example, you can devote more time to taking care of children or pets. However, remember that cheating on your spouse with another man is not a way out of a difficult situation, but only an aggravation of the problem.
Get rid of the feeling of sacrifice
If you believe the advice of psychologists, you can live with an alcoholic husband if you manage to completely get rid of the feeling of sacrifice. Many wives start crying the moment their husband returns home drunk from a bar, but this will not lead to anything good while the man is in an inadequate state. It is highly recommended to get rid of such a habit for good, since sacrifice blocks the manifestation of your individual abilities, and may also cause a desire to "recoup" other personalities for your evil fate. A woman who constantly exposes herself as a victim is characterized by imbalance, lack of initiative, and exerts destructive pressure on others. Moreover, even children often get hit.
To deal with this problem, you need to look inside yourself and analyze those individual motives that make the fair sex constantly expose herself as a victim. To do this, simply ask yourself a few of the following questions:
- Why do I keep trying to make myself a victim?
- What happens if others see me as a victim?
- Will my actions lead to a solution to the problem?
If a woman builds a chain of cause-and-effect relationships in her head, then sooner or later she will be able to understand that no one needs sacrifice. Of course, in order to get rid of this habit, you need to have great courage and perseverance, but this will not only allow you to deal withher alcoholic husband, but also to improve her life by engaging in self-development. What to do if you happen to live with an alcoholic husband? The advice of psychologists boils down to the fact that you must first of all overcome the desire to become a victim in yourself, since this will definitely not solve the problem, but only aggravate the situation - do not forget about it.
Focus on the kids or on yourself
Pretty good advice that allows you to deal with many unpleasant situations. According to psychologists, you can live with an alcoholic if you do not pay too much attention to the problem. Yes, yes, you heard right! Of course, you should not completely "score" on it, but until you manage to find ways to solve the problem, try not to forget about loved ones, as well as self-development.
Shifting priorities is the main step towards switching attention from a sick person to something that is really dear to you. If up to this point your focus was on your alcoholic husband, the advice of psychologists speaks of the need to carefully consider your life. Try to understand that your spouse is not the "center of the universe", and in no case should he push children aside, since this not only contradicts the moral and ethical standards formed by modern society, but can also adversely affect the development of a young person. If your child constantly feels unwanted by his family, then sooner or later he will also become addicted to drinking alcohol, smokingor worse.
If you don’t have children in your family, then you should do self-development so that you have less time for negative thoughts. In addition, if a woman is constantly in a oppressive atmosphere, all the time expecting a scandal or some kind of provocation from her husband, then this will negatively affect her nerves. Sign up for a gym and start looking after your he alth, or visit a literature club to not only read good books, but also meet new people. This will allow not only to distract from family problems, but also to spend time with benefit.
Bring awareness to your spouse
Advice with a psychologist about living with an alcoholic suggests that a woman should tell her husband about her awareness of his illness. Even if you have completed the previous point, many men may simply not notice the changes in their lives due to the constant craving for alcohol. Therefore, you must directly tell your spouse that you know about his illness and will fight it with all your might. Nothing scares a man so much as the indifference of his beloved woman, because this means that at one point he went too far, and it broke. Even if your spouse behaves inappropriately while intoxicated, and you just want to let everything take its course, you still have to show your husband that he remains dear to you in any state. It may not be entirely true, but this method really works.
If a man notices a change in a relationship before youtell him about your awareness, then you should be prepared in advance for the question: what happened? There is no need to panic. It is best to tell the truth as it is. You must convey to your beloved that it hurts you to watch his condition, that you still love him, like 10 years ago, and you want everything to be fine between you. However, in no case do not try to hurt your spouse's pride, as this will certainly not lead to good. Since a man will by this time already be heavily addicted to alcohol, he will feel fear that he may be taken away from him that allows him to abstract from pressing problems - drinking. That is, you must first hint to your spouse that you would like him to drink less alcohol. If you immediately tell a man something like: "Stop drinking!", then you will also remain guilty.
Now I understand how to talk to an alcoholic. The advice from psychologists in the following sections will help you get your husband to stop drinking for good. Also at the end of the article you will find a short video that will show several effective ways to save a man from alcohol addiction.
Use encouragement, not coercion
Thinking about how to work out the situation with an alcoholic husband. In psychology, there are several wonderful ways that allow you to achieve the desired result from a person. For example, one of the well-known techniques is "Incentive, not coercion." As it is easy to guess from the name, it consists inthat a woman should stimulate her husband to achieve a result, and not force him under threats. So many women do not understand the simple truth that if they forbid their husband to do something, then this only aggravates the situation. Therefore, if you decide to close your husband's access to intimacy until he stops drinking, then it is better to discard this thought. Or you can replace it with a really actionable option, like rewarding him every time he refrains from going to a bar and comes home sober. The more you stimulate your spouse, the sooner he will stop drinking.
How to live with an alcoholic husband? The advice of psychologists is quite simple: try not to make a man want to protest your rules. A man must decide to change on his own, and not with the help of various threats. Then he will be much more confident in following the intended goal and will not give up after the first failure. And the woman will have more confidence that her husband still loves her and is ready to make serious sacrifices for her. To awaken this desire in your spouse, you can master not-so-feminine hobbies that will motivate a man to help his wife, instead of getting drunk with friends.
Do not change positions after the first results
The psychology of an alcoholic in the family is arranged in such a way that he can relax after the first positive results and give up. However, this will only lead to the fact that you have to return tostarting point, and all the work will be simply useless. Therefore, the wife must be able to insist on her position. You should be able to tell your husband “no” in time, without succumbing to various persuasions or even reproaches. It is worth understanding the fact that even after a long coding, a man can start drinking more than before if he drinks at least a glass of beer. Therefore, it is in your interests to make your husband stop drinking everything that is stronger than kvass. Even if there is some serious reason (wedding or anniversary), then you should refrain.
To help your spouse abstain after the first months of treatment, try to follow the advice of psychologists. An alcoholic in the family is far from a sentence, you can fight it. You just need to be able to correctly use those motivational levers that are suitable in a particular case. For example, if your husband really wants to drink at his friend's wedding, give him a hint that today you will arrange for him such a "wedding night" that even the newlyweds will envy. To do this, you can always have in stock several sets of erotic lingerie that your spouse has not yet seen. Well, or just let him go fishing with friends if he promises to refrain from drinking alcohol. All in all, don't give up, especially if you want the same from your spouse.
Treatment of alcohol with folk remedies
The psychology of an alcoholic in the family also lies in the fact that a man may not recognize his addiction. However, if you are sure that your spouse is sick and are ready to fight it by any means, then you can find a great deal.the number of folk recipes that allow you to forever overcome cravings for alcoholic beverages. Having prepared such a tincture, you should add it to food or drink (depending on the recipe) to your loved one, after which he will begin to experience a serious aversion to drinks that contain alcohol in their composition. However, if you decide to resort to addiction treatment without asking the patient's opinion, then you should prepare for certain consequences.
Many people will react negatively to the fact that someone in secret from them is treating them. In addition, such actions can also lead to criminal liability if the husband decides to take legal action against his wife. Therefore, you should deny your involvement in your husband's aversion to alcohol. Pretend that you don't understand what encoding is and how it is produced. In this case, the patient will think that something is really wrong with his body, and for the sake of his own safety, he will stop drinking sooner or later. And besides, drinking alcohol when you have a physical disgust for it is an extremely dubious pleasure.
Hangover help at home
Above were the advice of psychologists to a woman. An alcoholic may sooner or later stop drinking completely, and until then he will experience hangovers after drinking alcohol the day before. In this case, you can help your lover at home. However, the psychology of an alcoholic husband is designed in such a way that hemay not take help in the form of drugs and deal with a hangover in a "beer" way, that is, by drinking a whole bottle of beer in one gulp. At first, this method will help, but in the future the body will get used to it, and it will be more and more difficult to cope with a hangover. Therefore, relatives of an alcoholic should be able to help a loved one.
The best hangover cures available at any pharmacy are:
- ascorbic acid;
- aspirin;
- "Glycine".
It is also necessary to force the husband to drink at least 1.5 liters of water within 2 hours after waking up. It is best that the life-giving liquid be mineral, but non-carbonated, then the cleansing of the body will be much faster. And from home remedies that allow you to get rid of alcohol poisoning, it is recommended to use a soda solution or various sorbents. If you believe the advice of psychologists, an alcoholic husband is fixable. The main thing is to strive to cure your loved one of addiction.
Conclusion
Now you know about the behavior of an alcoholic in the family. The advice of psychologists helps to live with a sick person and treat him. In the video below, an experienced priest talks about living with a husband who is addicted to drinking alcohol. It's no secret that priests are also partly psychologists and know how to choose the right words for a person in any life situation.
Is it worth living with an alcoholic? Advice from psychologistsarticles and recommendations of the priest from the video should help every woman if she decides that her lover is worthy of being helped. However, there are situations when the husband does not want to deal with the problem or even regularly beats his wife while intoxicated. In this case, of course, you should not endure assault. It is best to contact the human rights authorities and divorce your husband in order to start life from scratch. Therefore, it is worth giving a chance to an alcoholic husband, each woman decides on her own. In doing so, she must take into account the feelings of the children, her own emotions, as well as the behavior of her spouse.
