Ashamed after drinking: what to do? Feeling of shame. Remorse. Psychological discomfort

2024 Author: Miguel Ramacey | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 06:11

It often happens that after a drunken and stormy fun a person overtakes a sense of shame for acts committed while intoxicated. How to get rid of it if it starts to interfere with life? Consider some of the recommendations of psychologists to address this issue further.

Why is it embarrassing after drinking?

The first thing you should pay attention to when considering such a question is why is it possible to be ashamed after drinking and how this feeling did not overtake a person during the commission of such acts, for which a feeling of conscientious remorse comes in the morning?

First of all, it should be understood that after drinking a certain amount of alcohol, a person begins to lose certain psychological and social barriers. As a result of this, the drinking person begins to do things that he would never allow himself to do while in a completely sober state. It is not surprising that when his consciousness becomes sober, he begins to recall his yesterday's behavior and compare it with the imageideal "I", resulting in a general dissonance of patterns of behavior, which, in fact, causes a feeling of shame.

A vivid example of such a situation is the option when a young, but rather modestly educated woman, being in a state of intoxication, frankly flirted with a guy. Undoubtedly, in the morning she will be very ashamed of her behavior, because a completely different model of behavior has been imposed on her by society and a certain culture, which she consciously refuses when she is in a sober state. Precisely because the frank flirting of a drunk girl is not included in the image of an ideal woman (in her own understanding), she begins to feel a sense of remorse.

In some cases, one can observe a picture when the next morning after drinking a person feels remorse even if he has not done anything and has not crossed the boundaries of his ideal "I". It is worth noting that such a feeling is of a neurotic nature, which is considered abnormal by psychologists.

When ashamed after drinking, what to do? Let us consider further some situations of dealing with such a feeling, as well as the main techniques.

What kind of guilt is considered objective

An objective sense of guilt is one that is caused by the commission of certain acts that go beyond the established rules and norms of morality. Vivid examples of such behavior are situations when, in the midst of drunken fun, a person danced on the table, addressed the leader as “you”, insultedcolleagues, as well as violated the order established by society and committed other acts that were contrary to moral standards.

Psychologists note that such guilt is normal, since the result of its appearance was the exit of a particular individual beyond the established framework, as well as the boundaries of his own ideal image. In the event that a person in a drunken state caused moral or material damage to other persons, then the fact of the creation of such actions is an objective reason for the emergence of a feeling of shame and a drop in mood in the morning on this basis.

On the subjective causes of shame

What kind of feeling of shame after drinking is considered subjective?

Psychologists note that certain personal factors are reasons that were contrived by the person himself. So, for example, a situation may occur in which a drunk girl (or guy) says offensive words to another person or throws a caustic phrase that hurts his self-esteem. In this case, suspiciousness may arise, as a result of which feelings of shame, anxiety and guilt develop.

In such a situation, it is worth noting the presence of two inseparable categories: the subjective representation of a drunken face and reality. As for the first, this is only his opinion about whether he caused any harm to another person, and the reality in this situation is the very fact of the words spoken. If we describe this situation from the other side, then the person does not know and cannot know whether the opponent was offended by the expressions he said - the situationhe thinks out the occurrence of resentment on his own, and his fantasies, as a rule, are not at all interconnected with things that are really happening. In fact, the feeling of anxiety and guilt that has arisen in this case is far-fetched, and, according to psychologists, its causes actually lie much deeper than in a simple table situation.

General recommendations of psychologists

In the event that the morale in the morning after drinking leaves much to be desired, psychologists strongly recommend that you sit down and sort yourself out. To do this, you need to sensibly assess the manner of your behavior in a drunken state. In this it is very important to pay special attention to the aspect of the normal evaluation of all the actions taken. At the same time, it’s worth asking yourself the question: was it really that bad, or is it just the voice of conscience speaking now?

When assessing the situation, it is worth paying attention to what was really out of the ordinary in behavior, as well as identify those moments, shame for which is a consequence of the inconsistency of certain manners with the standards imposed by society and upbringing. It is also worth understanding in detail whether the committed actions really brought any harm to others or whether this is again spoken by an inner, overly conscientious voice. Only by reasoning on given topics can you find the right way out of this awkward situation.

How to eliminate guilt

What to do if after drinking, partying a person does not leave the feeling of guilt? In this situation, it is worth doing work on yourself. Experienced psychologists recommendspend it on the second day after the party, because on the first morning following the event, there is still some alcohol in the body, which does not allow a sufficiently sober assessment of the situation.

When studying the current situation, it is worth paying attention to what exactly happened in the series of events of that very evening. What was done? Was anyone offended by the behavior shown?

In the event that the reason for shame was nevertheless found or it was suggested by friends, it is worth looking at it not only from your own point of view, but also assess it from the outside, based on the "good / bad" ratings. In the event that the friends who make up the company at that very party do not recall anything that could be ashamed of after drinking, but nevertheless the feeling of remorse does not leave, then psychologists recommend doing a special set of exercises, the main action of which is directed for its elimination. Let's consider them further in more detail.

When remorse torments, but there are no obvious reasons for it

The described method of healing consciousness is ideal only for those who experience guilt and shame after drinking, not confirmed by any facts. In the situation described, it may be a consequence of a hangover syndrome that overtakes the insides of all those who had a very fun evening.

In a situation where, after drinking, a person begins to feel remorse for no apparent reason, he should do one very simple procedure recommendedpsychologists. To do this, you should get under the shower and stand for about three minutes, pouring yourself first with the warmest possible, and then with cold water (alternating procedures, giving each 30 seconds). At the same time, it is very important to make sure that the final flow of water is exactly cold.

After a shower, you should drink a tablet of Ibuprofen, Paracetamol, Spasmalgon or any other analgesic, the action of which is aimed at relieving the painful symptoms that come after a hangover.

In order to restore your body and completely eliminate all unnecessary thoughts, after taking the pill, you need to carry out a rehydration process, which consists in drinking a large amount of he althy liquid throughout the day. As such, mineral water is suitable, containing in its composition a large number of useful elements needed to restore the body after a hangover (calcium, magnesium, chlorine, potassium, sodium).

Throughout the day, a person suffering from a hangover needs to eat right. Preference should be given to natural chicken broth, vegetables, fruits and light soups.

In the process of healing the body, one must remember that drunken antics did not harm anyone, no one was offended by them. However, experts assure that if within 48 hours the feeling of remorse has not been eliminated, then it is still worth contacting a psychologist for qualified help. In fact, this specialist will be able not only to help look at the act with a sober look and help remove the depressing feeling of guilt, but alsoprevent its possible manifestation in the future.

What to do if a person is guilty

Special attention should be paid to the situation when a person really has a certain degree of guilt towards friends and colleagues with whom he drank. Psychologists note that when there is a serious situation in the memory that can be used as a starting point for introspection, then this is already very good.

At the moment when a person begins to realize the extent of his deed, he must ask himself for forgiveness for the act, saying mentally: "I forgive myself for everything said and done yesterday." The main factor in this case is self-willed forgiveness, so the specified or any other phrase close to it must be repeated until the feeling of shame begins to fade away.

Psychologists say that admitting one's own guilt is another step towards forgiving oneself. It is important to accept that this situation can happen to anyone, and anyone has every right to make mistakes. After all, only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

The practice of psychologists shows that you can get rid of the feeling of shame by some other methods, depending on the situation. Let's consider them further in more detail.

I need to ask for forgiveness

If it is possible to assess the whole situation with a sober look, the guilty person should understand the extent of the problem, as well as the offense and damage caused. After realizing all this, a person needs to ask for forgiveness from the offended person, and also try toexplain to him the whole situation, referring to the inadequacy of the perception of the world and everything that is happening at this moment.

Psychologists assure that in this situation it does not matter at all whether the person forgives the offender. The main element of the action is the demonstration of one's own sincerity.

Is it embarrassing to go to work after drinking with colleagues? In this situation, it is important to set yourself up for a favorable outcome of events, as well as remember more positive things that happened that evening. Upon arrival at work, you need to talk separately with all participants in drunken actions and, if necessary, ask for their forgiveness.

Switching your mind to the positive

In the recommendations of psychologists, it is often said that if you are ashamed after drinking, you need to switch your mind to more pleasant emotions. To reduce the level of sensations, it is worth occupying yourself with something. Many experts recommend spending the whole day following the party quite actively - in this situation, silent suffering will not lead to anything good.

In the event that the conscience for the deeds torments, a person can do a useful thing. It is worth remembering that it is necessary to benefit only with a sober look, realizing the full appropriateness of actions.

In some cases, experts in the field of psychology recommend switching to positive emotions. You can get them from communicating with loved ones, watching interesting programs, funny films, etc. If a person is a believer, then in this case he can visit the church -the atmosphere of the holy place will undoubtedly fill the soul with warmth and comfort, thanks to which the feeling of oppression will instantly leave the mind.

What not to do after drinking

Practice shows that most people cause great harm to their body, trying to restore it after severe alcohol intoxication. Experts in the field of psychology often notice that when experiencing stress caused by a sense of shame after a corporate booze, some people begin to smoke, trying to ignore the surging sensations. Doctors say that it is absolutely impossible to do this, since the ingestion of nicotine into an already weakened human body contributes to its oppression.

Also, practice shows that many people prefer to remove the feeling of a hangover by introducing a new portion of alcohol into the body, this is also contraindicated.

In addition to all of the above, medical experts strongly do not recommend eating fatty and unhe althy foods, as well as drinking coffee during a hangover period, this can only aggravate the situation.

"I don't remember anything after drinking: what to do?" - people who are not averse to drinking alcohol often ask themselves a question. It is worth noting that in this situation, friends who also took part in the party can clarify the course of events. However, doctors note that in similar situations it is necessary to pay serious attention to the state of one's own he alth, because temporary memory loss due to excessively drunk alcohol is notis a good sign.

It is also worth understanding that excessive drinking for any reason can lead to aggravation of the situation and to alcoholism, if not addressed in time.