Do you want everything to be perfect? Do you spend a lot of time on constant improvement: appearance, your work, surrounding space, loved ones and relatives? Do you think that no one will love you "imperfect"? Perfectionism… Is it a virtue or a serious problem?
Should it be encouraged and cultivated or should it be fought?
Most of us set certain, often very high, standards for ourselves. From childhood, parents inspired someone that they needed to fight for love, to be better, smarter, more diligent. Someone is constantly trying to compete with other people, to get ahead of them in everything, longs for recognition and approval. Perfectionism is an excessive pursuit of an unattainable ideal. It would be a virtue (and often it is in the eyes of other people who see the results of our achievements or work) if it did not cause so much inner tension.
As ironic as it sounds, perfectionism is a hindrance to realizing our true potential. Why? For the simple reason that inIn the pursuit of perfection, we sometimes forget about the main thing: about life itself, about the purpose of our labors and concerns. We become less efficient. Even when
we complete one task, we constantly return to it to understand what could or will be changed for the better. As a result, we do not have a sense of satisfaction, and the project on which we build endlessly remains "imperfect". We spend much more time on our affairs and assignments than is required.
Sometimes improvements not only do not improve what we are working on, but also harm the fruits of our efforts. An example would be, say, a presentation of a project. It seems to us that the topic has not yet been fully disclosed, we get bogged down in the endless addition of details and details, links and quotes. As a result, the project loses transparency and clarity. Remember that in many ways the best is the real enemy of the good.
Perfectionism is also the constant expectation of the "perfect" moment. Which, most likely, will never come, but without which we cannot make decisions. This can be compared with the expression "wait for the weather by the sea." There will always be something to complain about: sometimes too cloudy, sometimes the sun is blinding, sometimes too cold, sometimes unbearably hot. By clinging to the little things, we lose sight of the bigger picture, the perspective.
What other difficulties does perfectionism create? This is nervous tension and increased anxiety. We anticipate problems before they actually arise, and in a panic we come up with ideas for them.solutions. It becomes an obsession to prevent possible difficulties.
However, most problems either never appear or are minor. Perfectionism in psychology is considered mainly from the standpoint of the stress and unrest that it generates. And although this quality helps to constantly strive for higher standards and become better, dissatisfaction is inevitable. And it is followed by frustration, a feeling of insignificance, a loss of self-confidence.
How to deal with perfectionism and is it worth it? If this property has acquired the character of obsession, neurosis, then psychotherapy can help. However, a person himself will be able to do a lot for himself. But do not stop being a perfectionist, but learn to manage your condition.
Learn to look at the whole picture, isolate the main thing. Try to follow the plan exactly. For example, if you have allocated 2 hours to complete a task, take a break after they expire, do not let unnecessary details and grinding absorb you for another half day. Learn to say "stop" to yourself too. Yes, you know about the imperfection of a thing or project and that something else can be added and improved. But compare what you have achieved with the intended goal. If it is done in the main, try to switch off and do something else. Perhaps with a fresh look at the task, you will realize that everything is already good enough.
