For stable, long-term and reliable family relationships, it is important to have compatibility of temperaments of partners. As a result of numerous studies, scientists have found that the compatibility of a choleric person and a phlegmatic person in marriage is the best of all other combinations of temperaments. Such a pair has many opposite features that complement each other. Partners who have opposite properties of the nervous system create the most successful friendships and marriages.
In the article, we will consider the compatibility of choleric and phlegmatic people, what properties of the central nervous system contribute to the rallying of two opposites, how they complement each other, why their relationship develops favorably compared to the same types of temperament.
What is temperament
Before considering the compatibility of choleric and phlegmatic, you need to understand the concepts. It is worth knowing what temperament is, its nature and main characteristics.
Since the time of Hippocratesknown division of people according to varieties of temperament. At birth, everyone has different types of nervous system, which differ in the strength and mobility of the processes of excitation and inhibition. This is determined by the endurance of the cells, and hence the human psyche itself.
Scientific confirmation
The patterns of these processes were discovered by IP Pavlov during his study of conditioned reflexes. The researcher discovered the relationship between the rate of formation of conditioned reflexes and the excitability of the central nervous system. So, if excitation prevailed, then the process of formation of conditioned reflexes took place much faster, and the relationship lasted longer. Otherwise, they formed slowly and subsided in a short period of time.
Thanks to these studies, the types of temperaments have found scientific confirmation. It became clear that these are innate personality traits that should not be confused with the concept of character. If parents and teachers in educational institutions can work on the formation of character, then temperament is given to a person by nature. It belongs to the biological characteristics of a person. The strength of the processes of excitation and inhibition cannot be changed by education.
The speed, intensity and direction of a person's mental activity depend on the type of temperament. Some are anxious, others are more emotional. There are impulsive personalities and very impressionable people.
Division into types
The conclusion about the compatibility of choleric and phlegmatic can already be drawn from the list of basiccharacteristics of each type of temperament.
In total, 4 types of processes of excitation and inhibition, that is, temperament were found:
Choleric - the excitability of the nervous system goes off scale. Such people are nervous, active, impulsive and aggressive. They are distinguished by intemperance and loudness, sharp transitions from anger to laughter, they do not like to wait and are intolerant of the slowness of others. They are easy to recognize by their fast speech, active emotional facial expressions, and sudden movements. This is the most excitable type
- The sanguine person is calmer compared to the first type, he has a quick excitability, but he also knows how to stop quickly. Differs in activity, cheerfulness. However, in the absence of classes, it becomes passive and lethargic. This type of people is not too sad over trifles, quickly changing both hobbies and activities. He is loved in the team, he is also lucky in family relationships.
- Phlegmatic - has inertia and balance. People with this type of temperament are quiet, peaceful, resistant to irritants, however, stubborn, patient and efficient. Despite their slowness, they bring the matter to the end, you can always rely on them in a difficult situation. They are reliable in both friendship and marriage.
- Melancholic is the weakest type of NA. People with such excitability are prone to anxiety and self-doubt. They are touchy and passive, fearful and very emotional. Their speech is quiet, and their movements are slow. This type is passive and inert. He is bad at adjusting toconditions of the surrounding life, however, he has a highly developed associative thinking. He often lives in his inner world.
Compatibility of choleric and phlegmatic
Such a couple in marriage is the most prosperous due to the balance of one of the partners. Despite the fact that the choleric is a woman or a man, their irascibility and excitability are perfectly compensated by the patience and peacefulness of the second spouse in a couple. Love compatibility phlegmatic and choleric favorably affects family relationships.
As we all know, opposites attract. So in such a pair, family or love relationships can become strong and lasting. According to statistics, such partners show love and mutual attraction in a relationship, quite rarely there are complete breaks and quarrels. The life of a phlegmatic person is brightened up by the brightness and activity of a choleric person. The activity of one does not let the other get bored. But in the marriage of a choleric and a phlegmatic there are also many disagreements that you need to be able to deal with. Both one and the other partner should be ready for this in order to maintain a family or friendship.
Marriages of two choleric people
If you take a couple with the same type of temperament, for example, two choleric people, then the family will have constant screams, disputes, sometimes reaching physical reprisals. None of the partners is able to give in to the other, everyone wants primacy and leadership in the family. Unwillingness to give in on controversial issues aggravates the situation, conflicts flare up more and more.
If lovecholeric and phlegmatic is more or less stable, then a couple of two choleric people can be called an "explosive mixture". Explosions of emotions simply go wild in power, turning into smashing dishes and assault. But even in such relations it is possible to find a compromise. For stability and well-being in the family, psychologists recommend separating responsibilities and not engaging in one type of activity. This will not cause competition, envy for the success of another partner, which can be observed in many couples of Hollywood actors. Most successful people have an explosive nature, and the success of one partner in a couple causes the negative of the other, unable to contain his emotions.
For family peace, it is recommended that partners take breaks in the relationship, such as taking breaks apart for a while. You also need to often give rest from two choleric relatives and children, leaving for the resort together. From the stormy temperament of the spouses, not only they suffer, but also those living with them under the same roof.
Marriage of two phlegmatic people
A pair of phlegmatic people, according to statistics, is very stable in relationships, but you will not find bright passion in them. Each of them is doing their own thing. They are laconic and therefore conflicts rarely arise between them. However, if they do not agree on any issue, then the quarrel can drag on for a long period. Such partners rarely come to an agreement, they can hold a grudge for a long time, even part on the basis of disagreements. In this case, even joint children do not hold them.
However, let's get back to compatibility in the marriage of choleric and phlegmatic. Let's see what "underwaterstones" interfere with the well-being of such partners in the family.
Keep the relationship together
Patience even for phlegmatic people ends sooner or later. Choleric should not forget this. If the topic of the dispute is fundamental for a balanced and otherwise tolerant person, then it is better for a violent choleric person to give up and not insist, as he may stumble upon a solid wall of stubbornness. Unwillingness to give in will only lead to a protracted conflict.
Knowing the nature of your partner and his temperament, be more tolerant of the slowness of the phlegmatic, do not blame him for slowness. After all, he is not able to complete the work at the same pace as a high-speed choleric. He will definitely cope with it and bring what he started to a successful end without your attempts to speed up the process.
Recommendations for phlegmatic people
Friendship of phlegmatic and choleric people will be strong and reliable if both partners treat each other with respect. Not only the choleric should give in and restrain emotions. On the part of the phlegmatic partner, there must also be an understanding of the violent temper of the partner, whether it be a spouse or just a friend. It is not necessary to constantly restrain the pressure and slow down all the undertakings of the choleric. Most of the time, he just won't hear you. This can provoke a quarrel.
Don't try to stop an enterprising friend, let him act at his discretion. Do not forget that choleric people love praise and are constantly waiting for approval of their actions. If there are disagreements in the family or among friends,then psychologists in such a situation advise phlegmatic people to wait for the right moment for a serious conversation. Observation is important here. When the choleric person moderates activity and is at rest, you can talk with him on a topic that is sore for you. You need to act without shouting and emotions, calmly explain what exactly does not suit you.
Conclusion
In the relationship of a married couple, most often a woman makes concessions, therefore, if a man is a choleric, then a phlegmatic spouse will make him an excellent match. But in cases where the woman is choleric and the man is phlegmatic, compatibility depends on both partners.
The stormy half of the couple should also try to restrain their emotions. The spouse should also perceive the temper of the wife with understanding. Only together, working on the well-being of the family, you can find happiness. Respect each other and know that the type of temperament cannot be changed.
