What is he althy selfishness? This is what we will talk about in our article. We are all born selfish a priori. Only in the process of formation and development does this character trait acquire its colors in all people.
What kind of selfish are they?
Egoism is a character trait due to which a person achieves his goals, but at the same time he puts his own interests above all else, not thinking about how much it will cost others. An egoist will never engage in a business from which he will not receive benefits. The morality of serving one's neighbor is alien to him. Self-love comes first. Egotists lack empathy, lack empathy and diplomacy.
As a rule, such people are too confident. When they set a task, they achieve it at any cost, using all means, and at the same time they want everything at once. Therefore, if a child has this character trait, the main thing is to direct this powerful energy in the right direction. Teach him moral and ethical principles, with the help of which he will achieve his goals without causing harm to other people. Thus, it is possible to bring up a strong purposeful personality. This is about egocentrism. Let's talk about he althyselfishness.
Dive into history a little
It is believed that the term "selfishness" was adopted during the Enlightenment. But if you dig deeper, you can see that already in Ancient Greece the thinkers Epicurus and Aristippus actively used it, interpreting life as a desire to satisfy needs, as a chance to protect themselves from unpleasant sensations. According to this theory, morality was recognized as everything that gave joyful emotions. It was only in the 8th century that the term "selfishness" and the concept of he althy selfishness appeared.
The Age of Enlightenment gives us a different morality, which preaches the correct understanding of their interests. A he althy egoist has a sense of self-preservation, individualism, correctly places life accents. Personal interests are also a priority, but at the same time he is able to compromise, respects the rights of others, achieves a goal without harming anyone.
So what is he althy selfishness? The definition of this concept is quite simple and easy to understand. So…
Definition of the concept. Is it so bad to be selfish?
This is the ability to solve problems without infringing on the rights and dignity of other people, without allowing personal values and priorities to be affected.
People with this character trait know their own worth, but do not turn up their noses, do not ask for praise and do not seek quick recognition. Possessors of unhe althy egoism, on the contrary, demand worship, humiliating other people, go over their heads.
He althy egoism is inherent only in psychologically he althy people. Let's look at its benefits. He helps:
- put talent in the right direction;
- keep yourself in control;
- defend interests and desires;
- distinguish lies from truth, deceit from love;
- hold back emotions;
- achieve goals without wasting yourself;
- maintain composure in a critical situation;
- comprehend the heights, go on a feat, fearing nothing.
As you can see, only virtues are characteristic of him. The question automatically matures: is he althy egoism useful? Let's talk about it.
Signs of intelligent selfishness
A he althy egoist has the following distinguishing features:
- He can calmly refuse if something contradicts his views, does not coincide with his interests.
- Will stand to the end, defending the opinion, but not for the purpose of stubbornness, but only based on their convictions and a balanced and reasoned point of view. But can compromise.
- Says direct, but does not try to impose his opinion.
- Unaffected, loves himself just the way he is.
- Respectfully treats the opponent, while not trying to please, he is not interested in the attitude of others to himself.
- Does not feel guilty about being useless. Will strive to correct the mistake, and if this fails, learns from the situation and benefits and moves forward.
- Does not cross personal boundaries and demands it from others in return.
This is a characteristic of a he althy egoist.
Let's talk about benefits
From birthWe are taught by our parents that selfishness is bad. But if we consider this word in the correct sense, then … they need to be. Judge for yourself: people who live, taking care of everyone except their own person - are they happy? Of course not. First of all, you need to take care of yourself, love yourself. Consider the qualities that a he althy egoist will acquire:
- He will get freedom from the modern society of consumers, from the desire to take everything at someone else's expense. He won't let himself be used.
- Will be respected because he is independent of other people's opinions.
- Rarely gets into bad situations because he thinks soberly and rationally.
- Take responsibility. Because reasonable egoists are obligatory people, they keep their word, they keep their promises.
As a rule, successful people are more common among he althy egoists than among altruists. Because they go to the goal without being distracted by anything. They are charming because they are in harmony with themselves. Because of their impeccability, there is nothing to reproach them with. Therefore, we can conclude that a he althy egoism is useful. Have we convinced you? Then read on!
Let's give arguments in favor of he althy selfishness
We have already figured out the essence of the term. Let us give examples of he althy egoism and arguments in favor of this character trait. So, who is a reasonable egoist? This is a person who consciously takes care of himself first of all, but he is ready to help others if he benefits from it. For example, a rural person will look after a cow, feed her, because she gives him milk. Young woman,living in the city will show care and attention towards her friends, because she needs them, if only because they can have fun and have a good time.
Here are 5 reasons for he althy selfishness:
- Work. There are people who look forward to Monday with horror, because it is necessary to go to work that is not unloved. But it takes up most of our lives. If your position does not suit you, set goals, look for different ways of development. A he althy egoist loves his job because he loves himself, knows his worth and finds something to his liking. Wherever you work, look for ways to improve and advance. Think about your hobbies, use them to get additional or basic income.
- Money. We are rewarded for our work. The work done and professionalism should be paid adequately. So don't be afraid to ask for a pay rise. And if there are no prospects at this place, you should not be afraid to lose it.
- Private life. Women dream of an affectionate and gentle man who would be carried in his arms, guessing desires. But this is self-deception. In the depths of their hearts, ladies want a self-sufficient, proud, handsome man with an athletic build. Achieve him and then suffer from a broken female heart by him. According to psychologists, we are looking for a partner who will treat us the way we treat ourselves. Due to the lack of he althy egoism, a thirst arises to fill the empty spiritual space with the love of a person who has it in abundance from greatself love.
- Intimate relationship. In this area, he althy egoism is the place. A man feels like a king in bed when he is sure that he will please a woman. The poet should not be afraid for a hairstyle, an imperfect figure, and so on, and there is no need to worry about the feelings of a strong half. It is necessary to completely surrender to passion and enjoy the process, thinking about your pleasure.
- Children. There are many stories that spouses lived together, not loving each other, only for the sake of children. They created the illusion of a happy marriage. A he althy egoist will break this connection and be happy. He will also never give up his career to raise a child, because there is always another solution.
It turns out that the essence of he althy selfishness is love and unity. Then life will be happy.
Give more examples
A friend asked me to borrow a certain amount for two days. But you know perfectly well that he will not return them soon. How to refuse? You need to do this reasonably: they say, save up for a trip for a child on vacation.
Or the boss asked to stay after work to help make a report, but they won't pay extra for it. It is also worth wisely refusing here, explaining that you have other plans jointly with your family that cannot be canceled and rescheduled.
The theme of selfishness is also touched upon in literature. True, little attention is paid to he althy egoists, writers condemn the callousness and indifference of people to others in general, they talk about conscience. But Chernyshevsky put forward the theory of "reasonable egoism." What is it about?
The theory of "reasonable egoism" in G. N. Chernyshevsky's novel "What to do?"
According to the classic, an individual is not able to become successful and lucky alone. The grace of both will be conditioned by the happiness of others. Thus, the theory of rational selfishness consisted in existence in the name of others. The heroes of his work (he althy selfishness - this is their main feature) were united by a common great cause, in connection with which their common success will become their source of happiness. The moral principles of the heroes are determined in a single struggle, striving to satisfy the general interests, which are based on attention and guardianship, the thought of another person.
Chernyshevsky was against selfishness. He believed that the egoist was a freak, and his life was unenviable. His "reasonable egoists" do not separate their benefit and interests from the happiness of others. Lopukhov, who freed Vera from himself, having learned about her feelings for Kirsanov, will subsequently be proud that he made such a noble gesture.
Heroes go against selfishness, individualism, self-interest. The author proposes a new doctrine in philosophy - materialism. The focus is on the individual, who is guided by the calculation to give up a smaller benefit in order to obtain a larger one. Only then will he benefit.
He althy and unhe althy egoists: is there a big difference?
Summing up, let's give another life example. Take a he althy egoist and an unhe althy one. Both act in the same way - they give a gift.
A he althy egoist does it consciously, showing what to give himself. That is, he loves to present something and accept surprises in return. His positionobvious. He does not hide his self-interest deep in his mind, but openly demonstrates, voices it. It turns out that a he althy egoist pursues his own interests, and honestly declares this.
And an unhe althy egoist gives and blindly tries to believe that he does it disinterestedly, with all his heart, and allegedly free of charge. No, he wants to receive such a gift, but he keeps it a secret. If this happens, then everything will be fine, otherwise egoism will break out. The person will begin to be offended, freak out, will not be able to contain his anger, thus forcing the person to pay for his “selfless gift.”
Yes, an unhe althy egoist also pursues the goal of gaining profit, with the only difference being that he demonstrates that it is not important to him, and at the same time he is proud of "disinterested" service to other people.
What conclusion can be drawn from all of the above? You need to stop being ashamed of your selfishness. The more you hide from him, the more he will break out in the form of resentment, attacks and manipulation in relation to other people. The more clearly you realize that you are an egoist (and we are all by nature so), the more you will respect the interests and freedom of other people. Conscious he althy selfishness is an open path to correct, open, honest relationships between people.
