Definitely, in every working or educational team there is an irreplaceable person who just wants to be replaced. He constantly provokes others into conflicts or behaves as if he is the center of the Earth. There is an unhe althy and difficult psychological atmosphere in the team, but as soon as this person disappears, everyone is happy, drinking tea together and having intimate conversations about life. Who is this despot, crippling the psyche of others? He is the same person, just, as they say, a conflict personality.
Conflict is my hobby
Among the bulk of people, psychologists distinguish between independent individuals who retain their beliefs without imposing them on the first comer. And conflicting personalities, for whom to impose their opinion on the first person they meet is a holy cause. Among individuals prone to conflict, one can often meet authoritarian people. In their eyes, they are outrageously ideal, they don’t even know about the existence of their negative qualities. From life they need only one thing - to achieve success and prestige that others can see and appreciate. In interpersonal relationships, they are rather stingy on the manifestation of anyfeelings.
It is natural for a conflicted person to aggravate the situation around him. It is difficult for ordinary people to endure the state of confrontation, so they strive to find a way out and achieve some kind of stability. It is much easier for a person in conflict to endure the state of confrontation. First, the conflict personality has a reduced level of sensitivity. She is not afraid of uncertainty, since she can quite realistically predict the outcome of the confrontation. Secondly, such people are characterized by inflated self-esteem, categorical judgments and a rigid system for evaluating others. A priori, such a person cannot have the thought that one can somehow try to get closer to others, find a compromise or adjust. Due to overly high self-esteem, it is quite natural to feel dissatisfied not only with oneself, but with all the people that are nearby, and a frozen value system simply does not make it possible to maintain flexibility and objectivity in the process of judgment. On this basis, a conflict arises.
If the situation in the team is calm, then the conflict person is in an extremely tense state. For such people, there is only one way out of the conflict - everyone agrees with their opinion. That is, they impose a solution to the problem. Very often this very imposition can be expressed in threats and intimidation. A conflicted personality can threaten with terrible violence, although it is unlikely to stoop to it. As practice shows, such people are quite cowardly and do not get into fights. Let their position be unfounded, but theywill speak loudly about it. Although one dignity for such people is still listed - they know how to admit their defeat. And not because they changed their minds, but only because they had already enjoyed the course of the struggle.
Thus, we can summarize that a conflict personality is an individual who is characterized by an increased frequency of entering into conflicts.
Characteristic of conflict personality
A conflicted person can be seen in the team almost from the first minutes. He reacts very violently to the statements of colleagues that do not correspond to his concepts, and tries in every possible way to attract people to his side. In addition, if there are certain difficulties in communication in the team itself, then they will certainly become confrontations that are protracted. And even if the causes that gave rise to this conflict are eliminated, the situation will not change. A person in conflict will seek support and encourage conflict.
E. Romanova and L. Grebennikov give the following characteristics of a conflict personality:
- Deviant behavior. That is, a person who loves conflicts behaves in a group in a completely different way than is customary in a particular socio-cultural environment. Everything he does is substandard.
- Conflict is a quality of people with poor he alth. It is known from medical practice that children and adolescents with deviant behavior suffer from various vegetative-vascular diseases. The same goes for adults.
An increased level of conflict is typical for patients with neurosis and psychopathy. Sometimes these diagnoses can be hiddenonly from an outside observer, but also from the eyes of the patient himself. But if a lover of conflict fails in disputes for a long time, then he can earn a stroke or a heart attack. Still, quarrels, even for people with a tempered character, do not go unnoticed.
A bit of history
Conflicts and conflicting personalities have always aroused interest in their study. In the 50s. last century, a discipline called conflictology appeared. This science existed before, but was called the sociology of conflicts, and only in the second half of the twentieth century was it able to take shape as an independent discipline. A huge contribution to the development of this industry was made by the works of A. Koser and R. Dahrendorf. Thanks to the works of D. Rapoport, M. Sheriff, R. Doz, D. Scott, a new trend of conflictology has taken shape - the psychology of conflict. In the 70s. there was a need for practices that would teach behavior in a conflict situation. Various practices and methods of resolving contentious issues in the most peaceful way begin to appear.
It is worth noting that initially the subject of conflict studies was conflict as a social phenomenon. Scientists described the types of confrontations and tried to find the most acceptable ways to resolve them. However, recently conflicting personalities have begun to appear in society more and more, which is hard not to notice.
Conflictologists mean by a conflict personality an individual with contradictions in consciousness and subconsciousness. V. Merlin notes that the most conflicting are people with a creative mindset andactive lifestyle. There are many theories regarding the origin of this type of character in humans. For example, according to Freud's theory, a conflict personality is a collision of the human "I" with its instinctive, unconscious component "It". According to Freud's theory, there is also a third component of the personality "Over I", that is, the ideal to which a person aspires. Thus, the individual constantly suffers from the clash of these three selves, and this can often result in external conflicts.
On the other hand, there was the teaching of K. Jung, who argued that human neurosis and the difficulty of adapting to others are formed in childhood. The scientist emphasized that it is important to teach a child to understand and be aware of his thoughts and desires in order to resolve internal conflicts. According to his examples, a conflict personality can appear if adults begin to deceive a child or stop paying attention to him. Then the child may draw incorrect conclusions, which will make it difficult for him to perceive himself.
Another interesting theory was voiced by Karen Horney. She also drew attention to the process of personality formation in childhood and introduced the concept of "basal anxiety" - a feeling of loneliness and complete isolation in a hostile world. This condition occurs when, in childhood, the child was unable to satisfy his need for security. As a result, "basic anxiety" becomes the basis on which a conflict personality is formed. Such people require more attention and react sharply ifthings didn't go the way they wanted. They have a much higher need for love and recognition than other people. In short, conflicted individuals are trying to find evidence of their importance, at least according to Karen Horney.
Types of conflict personalities
Diagnosis of a conflict personality shows that there are several types of such people. First, there are six basic types:
- Demonstrative.
- Rigid.
- Unmanaged.
- Ultra accurate.
- Conflict-free.
- Rationalist.
But since different researchers classify the behavioral characteristics of a conflict personality in different ways, there are such types as "screamers", "complainers", "know-it-alls", "rude" and others. It is worth considering in more detail the characteristics of individuals that are most common in society. It is difficult to predict how communication with a conflict person will end, so you need to know how one conflict person differs from another.
Demonstrative and rigid conflict personality
The word "rigid" is translated as "inflexible". If we apply this term to a person, then we can say that this is a person with high self-esteem, not taking into account the opinions of others. The rigid type of conflict personality has the following characteristics:
- Suspicious.
- Has high self-esteem.
- Requires constant confirmation of self-worth.
- Almost unresponsive to changing situations orcircumstances.
- Always blunt, has no clue about diplomatic negotiations.
- He finds it difficult to take into account someone else's point of view.
- Expects respect from others.
- Gets offended if someone is mean to him.
- Cannot criticize his own actions.
- Touchy and sensitive.
Most often, a conflicting personality of a rigid type is an egocentric, he lives by a fairly simple principle: “if the facts do not suit you, the worse for the facts.”
For a conflict personality of a demonstrative type, the most important thing is to be in the spotlight. It is vital for such a person to look good in the eyes of others, and besides, he treats others in the same way as others treat him. It is worth noting that only with frivolous conflicts, demonstrative personalities feel good, but if the conflict acquires depth and sharpness, then they will certainly step aside. Such people know how to adapt to situations, they are distinguished by emotional behavior, they avoid painstaking and systematic work, as for planning, they do it sporadically. Most often they act spontaneously or as the situation requires. This person often becomes the instigator of a dispute, but he does not consider himself to be such. He can inflate the conflict from scratch, so that at least in this way he can be seen.
Unmanaged and ultra-precise personality types
Based on the name, it can be understood that an uncontrollable conflict personality is particularly impulsive. Her behavior is hard to predict. Moreover, such people always behave defiantly and aggressively. They often violate accepted social norms, are characterized by exorbitant self-esteem and constantly require confirmation of their own importance. These people are not inclined to take responsibility and blame others for any of their failures. Unmanaged individuals cannot plan their activities; it is almost impossible for them to bring plans to life. It is difficult for them to compare their actions with goals and circumstances, moreover, such people do not know how to draw conclusions.
As for the ultra-precise personality type, such people are very scrupulous about their work, they are demanding of themselves and others. To those who work with them, it may even seem that they find fault with trifles. Such people are sensitive to details, have increased anxiety and react painfully to comments. Because of petty and ridiculous resentment, they can break off all relations with others. They tend to worry about failures and miscalculations, and as a result, they pay with insomnia and headaches. Such people are restrained in the manifestation of their emotions and inadequately evaluate the relationships in the group. It is also worth noting that conflicting personalities of the ultra-precise type often suffer from an unsettled personal life.
Conflict-free and rational personality types
Can a conflict personality be conflict-free? This is indeed a paradox, one might even say, cognitive dissonance. The model of behavior of a conflict personality of a non-conflict type is situational in nature. Such peopleare distinguished by the absence of their own views and are easily influenced by others, because of which they can become a source of many troubles. The danger of this type lies in the fact that they do not expect a dirty trick from such people, they are kind and calm. And if such a person becomes the instigator of the conflict, then the team perceives such a situation objectively and impartially.
People of the non-conflict type do not have strong beliefs about assessments and opinions. It is easy for them to inspire a new idea. They are inconsistent in their behavior and suffer from internal contradictions. They are impressed by momentary success, such people do not know how to see prospects. They are dependent on the opinions of others, in particular leaders. If a dispute arises, they always look for a compromise. Such people do not even theoretically have willpower, and besides, they do not think about the consequences of their actions and inactions.
And the last one is a rational, or prudent, type of personality. If you look at the behavior of a rational-type conflict personality, it becomes obvious that conflict for such a person is nothing more than a way to achieve one's own goal. Such people can be an active party that is trying to unleash a conflict. They are subtle manipulators and shamelessly use manipulative skills in personal relationships. If they come into conflict, they always behave rationally. Before taking any side, they will calculate all possible options, assess the strengths and positions of the parties, and choose only the opponent with whom they are sure to win. Such people have a well-developed communication technique inhot dispute. They may not show themselves for a long time, be executive and obedient employees, but when they see an opportunity to take a leadership position, they will show themselves at 110%.
Other types of conflict personalities. Ways to work with them
Besides the main types, there are other types of conflict people. They do not have such a variety of characteristics, but they have bright expressive features of behavior. And if you have to interact with a conflicting personality of a certain type, you need to be able to behave correctly so as not to bring a simple misunderstanding to a quarrel on a global scale.
"Trude tank" will never pay attention to anything or anyone. No matter what stands in his way, he will always go ahead, and at such moments it is useless to talk to him. If you have to work with such a person, then the best tactic is not to catch his eye. If you have to meet, then you need to be calm both externally and internally. First you need to let him speak, let off steam, so to speak, and then he will pay attention to the interlocutor and his words.
"Screamer Rude" raises his voice in any incomprehensible situation. In communication with him, the main thing is not to cry yourself.
"Grenade" is a calm and peaceful person, but at some point he turns into a monster in a second. This happens when a person begins to lose control over the situation, and there is a feeling of helplessness. If after the “explosion” you assure such a person that everything will work out, then he will very quicklycalm down.
The know-it-all is perhaps one of the most annoying types. Such people do not know how to listen, they constantly belittle the significance of the words spoken by the interlocutor, interrupt him and criticize him. They try by hook or by crook to put themselves on a pedestal, demonstrating intellectual superiority and competence. It is useless to argue with such people, it is best to agree with them, even if they speak curly heresy.
Pessimism, aggression, complaisance
"Pessimist" is another annoying type of conflict personality. But if he begins to criticize, then you do not need to dismiss his remarks, they can be constructive. It is worth minimizing the shortcomings that such a person spoke about and thanking him for his criticism. Then he will feel useful and, quite possibly, become an ally.
"Passive-aggressive" is one of the most difficult types of conflict personality. Such people do nothing openly, they will not criticize or resist. But if such a person has a specific goal, then it is likely that he will begin to achieve it with the help of other people. These people are secretive and cautious, it is almost impossible to bring them to clean water. It is typical for them to constantly find excuses for unfulfilled tasks, to work carelessly. Sometimes such people want to be useful and begin to actively offer their help, although in reality they will do nothing. It is difficult for them to complete their tasks, and the best tactic is not to be angry with such a person, because evoking negative emotions in their address is preciselywhat he is trying to achieve. Such people are strong as long as they remain unnoticed, and if you talk to someone in front of others, then he will be confused.
"Super-accommodating" also agrees with everything. He actively offers his help, but never does anything. And with all this, he firmly believes that no one appreciates his noble impulses. He wants to please everyone and tries to look useful. As a result, he is gaining so many obligations that he cannot cope with them. This person does not know how to say “no”, and in order to establish relations with him, you need to create an emotionally favorable atmosphere in the team.
"Sniper", "Leech", "Prosecutor", "Complainant"
"Sniper" bursts into life with barbs and ridicule, he tries to cause trouble using intrigue, gossip and fraud. It is better not to react to such behavior in any way, and if you attack, then in the forehead.
"Leech". This type of conflict personality will never blame anyone, be rude or insult anyone. But after talking with him, you will definitely feel tired and in a bad mood. The only thing a person can do in a conversation is to say how they feel at the end of the conversation. It may be possible to find out the reason for feeling unwell.
"The Accuser" criticizes his surroundings all the time, and in addition to him - politicians, doctors, football players and others. He constantly comes up with new hard facts. And it is better not to stop him, otherwise you will have to listen to a flurry of irritation. Such people are justwant to talk.
Complainers can be realistic or paranoid. They vividly and colorfully describe all sorts of failures and there is no need to prove that they are wrong. These people also want to speak up. In order not to listen to complaints in the second circle, you just need to rephrase everything that the interlocutor said in your own words, then he will understand that they are listening to him and calm down.
That's how different people who love conflict can be. Such a person may clearly show his aggression and inclinations of a dictator, or may not show himself in any way, but at the same time become a catalyst for conflicts.
