People communicate not only through voice (verbal communication). There is also a non-verbal form of communication - body language. Sometimes it is much more eloquent than words. By learning non-verbal cues, you can better understand others.
Body language
Non-verbal signals include:
- facial expressions,
- gestures,
- body movements;
- pose;
- eye contact;
- change of intonation in voice;
- distancing.
Let's analyze their types in more detail.
Gesticulation. It includes any movement of the arms and hands. Here you can add manipulations with small objects.
Mimicry. These are non-verbal signals that can be read on a person's face: blinking, smiling, frowning, grin. As well as any psychosomatic processes associated with the face: a blush that suddenly flared up, redness, a pale appearance.
Body movements. Any body movements (this does not include those for which you need to use your hands and head). For example, drawing with a foot in the sand, puffing out the chest, stretching, the “foot to foot” gesture. It means the generalbody position and change. For example, a person can stand, pushing the body into the wall, while crossing their arms and legs. This will signal a certain psychological state.
Intonation. This includes:
- tone of speech;
- smacking;
- sighs;
- breath-holding;
- pause.
We have listed the main types of non-verbal body signals. It will be useful to study them for those who constantly work with people or speak in public. Such signs act on the subconscious of people much more strongly than verbal ones.
Fake Signals
Non-verbal cues cannot be completely controlled, which means they are very difficult to fake. They come from the area of the unconscious, and if a person plays, then inconsistencies in words and facial expressions will be visible. He won't be able to fully relax, which is also easy to see.
It happens that the interlocutor answers in the affirmative, but in fact he does not think so. Pay attention: his head will unconsciously shake, as if saying the opposite. Your intuition is a great assistant in the difficult task of recognizing the correspondence between verbal and non-verbal signals. Do not brush it off, but on the contrary - listen.
Errors in decryption
Non-verbal body signals are not always interpreted correctly, and for good reason. Let's look at the main mistakes:
- Context is ignored. Pay attention to related situationscircumstances. For example, you see a girl who looked down sadly and hugged herself with her arms. At the same time, she trembles. If this lady is your employee and is sitting in the office, then you might think that she is upset and desperate. The same non-verbal signals can be sent by a woman at a bus stop in winter, but at the same time she is just very cold.
- Emphasis on one gesture only. For example, it can be the notorious gesture when the arms are crossed over the chest. Everyone knows that it means rejection, closeness of the interlocutor, rejection of your ideas. It is not always so. It may be just convenient for the interlocutor to stand like that, he is tired, leaned against the wall and folded his arms comfortably. In addition, you need to pay attention to the totality of non-verbal gestures. If the arms are crossed on the chest, and at the same time the person has a frown, a raised eyebrow and legs turned away from you, then we can talk about rejection.
The ability to recognize non-verbal signals of love is inherent in women by nature itself. This is the same female intuition. It is given to the weaker sex in order to understand what the child needs at a time when he still cannot say about it. But lovely ladies use it not only for its "direct" purpose. However, men are also endowed with a sixth sense…
Non-verbal cues from a man
Strong sex is in control of his emotions, at least better than women, but still it is almost impossible to completely disguise them:
- Pupil dilation. It's not always possible to look a guy straight in the eye, butif you see that his pupils dilate when he looks at you, then you can be sure that he likes you.
- An eyebrow twitch. If you notice such a non-verbal signal when looking at you, then it can also be interpreted as a sign of sympathy.
- Assessing look down. The guy looked into your eyes, and then his eyes went down? You can be sure that he likes you. Women know this masculine look well. The paradox is that when a girl does this, the guy does not understand this sign.
- The pose of a man who feels sympathy. When meeting a pretty girl, a man involuntarily begins to preen: fix something, wipe his shoes, smooth his jacket. A guy who wants to please pulls in his stomach, tries to take the most advantageous position to show his muscles. Will not miss the opportunity to lift or move something to show his strength - "flex his muscles".
Female Non-Verbal Sympathy Signals
Girls are emotional creatures. It is a fact! The quantity and quality of non-verbal signals depends on how much the charmer wants to attract the attention of a man. Let's look at the tricks and tricks that ladies most often use unconsciously:
- Voice. Almost all ladies, when communicating with the object of sympathy, involuntarily change their voice. The usual pace of speech slows down. The voice becomes lower, a slight hoarseness may even appear. This indicates that the woman is sexually attracted to the man.
- Shyness. When a girl likes a guybut she is afraid of being rejected, then the pace of her speech, on the contrary, accelerates. The voice breaks, trembles, shrill notes appear. There may be a spasm in the throat, and a cough may occur.
- Giggle. The girl's laugh also changes. even a well-bred lady can suddenly start giggling hysterically, laughing out loud. The picture looks pretty stupid.
Women's magic
Non-verbal signals girls use to attract the stronger sex. The gestures most commonly used by ladies are:
- touching the earlobe, adjusting the earrings;
- winding a strand of hair around your finger;
- wrist demonstration;
- sips that show a thin waist, expose a belly or a big bust;
- demonstrative crossover.
More explicit sexual appeals:
- Playing with a shoe, better with a boat. The girl takes it off and wiggles it on her toe, then puts it back on.
- Manipulations with cylindrical objects. Rolling cigarettes between fingers, stroking a misted glass of champagne. These non-verbal signals indicate that the hands are ready for caresses. In a man, such gestures awaken sexual fantasies against his will.
To make your gestures pleasant, not aggressively sexual, remember what a woman needs hands for. They rock the baby, stroke and soothe the beloved man, give him a massage, relieving fatigue. If you keep this in mind, then the gestures and movements themselves will become smooth, graceful and soft. You will look natural and open.
Unattractive manipulation
If a girl came to a party for the specific purpose of getting to know a guy, then you need to carefully monitor your gestures. Some may repel the stronger sex, no matter how beautiful the lady looks:
- You can't stand with your legs and arms crossed. This reduces the chance of making a pleasant acquaintance to zero. This behavior indicates that you are closed to contact with people.
- Touch your face less with your hands. Supporting the cheek with the hand, rubbing the nose and a finger to the mouth are the gestures of the "blue stockings". It also speaks of strong self-doubt.
Flying walk
A beautiful walk is another non-verbal signal for men. The strong sex is attracted by a flat back, laid back shoulders, feline grace. Don't swing your arms too much - it looks awkward.
You can read a person's character by walking. This applies not only to women, but also to men. A fearful person takes small steps. The soldier's march means a tendency to manipulate and command. Angular movements will tell about duality in character. Such a person tries to defend himself, but may suddenly become aggressive.
It's bad when the legs move, and the arms hang limply along the body. This betrays helplessness, unwillingness to take the initiative. In non-verbal language, it says: "I am weak, do everything for me." Men do not like such women.
In "Italian Marriage" Sophie demonstrated a stunning walk that has become a textbook. Her husband-director taught her how to walk beautifully. He came up with a very funny wayworkout. The actress had to walk between two rows of bedside tables and close their doors with her hips. Sophie practiced until the slamming of the doors was barely audible.
How to understand that a person is lying
Non-verbal lie signals are not that difficult to recognize if you know some secrets. Our subconscious does not tell a lie and easily betrays a liar. Be attentive to the signals, they can give out the real thoughts of a person:
- gestures:
- look;
- pose;
- intonation, voice timbre.
Do you want to know what your teenage son or daughter is hiding? Or maybe you want to understand how your boss really treats you? Are you wondering if your husband is cheating on you? These questions can be answered by studying the psychology of lying.
- Look at the left side. This part of the face can easily betray a liar. Take a close look at the person whose sincerity you doubt. If during the story his left hand dangles, describes obscure circles, or he wrings his fingers on it, this is a sign that the interlocutor is lying. The same can be said for the left leg. The thing is that the left and right hemispheres of the brain control both the left and right sides of the body, it only works crosswise. This means that the right hemisphere, which is responsible for emotions and is difficult to control, is likely to give out a lie, even a rehearsed one.
- Mouth covered by hand. If your counterpart wants to lie, then he can cover his mouth with his hand. The thumb is usually pressed against the cheek. In addition, the interlocutor may cough. The main thing - do not confuse thisnon-verbal sign with a real cold. If such a signal is given by a person who is listening, then this means distrust of the interlocutor.
- "Noodles on the ears". A person who is tired of his own lies will cover his ears with his hands or hold them near this part of the body. This gesture is an attempt to fence off the untruthful story. The same will be done by a person who does not believe the words of his interlocutor.
- Cut through your teeth. There is such a proverb: "The word is not a sparrow, it will fly out - you will not catch it." A person who deceives will try not to open the "birdhouse" too much, that is, to speak not very loudly and as if through his teeth. Such behavior can also mean dissatisfaction, annoyance, fatigue, or upset of the one who narrates. It all depends on the context and the situation.
- Eyes are a reflection of the veracity of words. The stronger sex does not like to look into the eyes if it is deceiving. The man scratches his eyelid. A lady may start to fix her makeup or pretend that something has got into her eye. This non-verbal signal also indicates that you are tired of your counterpart.
- Avert your eyes. Representatives of the stronger sex control their emotions well, but if the deception is serious, then they shift their gaze to the floor. Girls tend to look at the ceiling when they lie.
- Itchy neck. This is one of the most interesting gestures noticed by psychologists. A person who lies begins to scratch his neck with the index finger of his right hand. In doing so, he usually makes five movements. If the interlocutor who is listening does this,it means he doesn't trust his opponent.
- Speak briefly. Even if a person has been preparing and thinking over a lie for a long time, he will try to give it out as quickly as possible and without unnecessary details. The liar himself does not like the story he is telling, so he will try to end it as soon as possible.
- An inquisitive look. If in ordinary conversation people do not have the habit of catching the reaction to their words, then the liar will look inquisitively into the eyes, checking whether they believe him or not.
How to accurately detect a lie?
There are situations when you need to know for sure whether your counterpart is telling the truth or lying. Try the tips below:
- Say that not everyone understood. Ask the person you suspect of cheating to repeat everything in detail. This is a serious psychological attack. The liar will start to go astray and move away from details. Observe what nonverbal signals his body sends.
- Listen to the interlocutor carefully. Play different expressions on your face: benevolent abruptly change to a sign of distrust. The interlocutor who is lying, carefully monitor your facial expression. If he knows the meaning of non-verbal signals or he intuitively feels something, he will immediately begin to panic and go astray.
How to recognize the sincerity of a smile
Any person considers a smile a sign of sympathy and good relations. It affects the subconscious in any case, whether you like it or not. Therefore, it is so important to distinguish between a real manifestation of sympathy or a fake forced smile, with which they want something from you.achieve.
Asymmetry is a bad sign. A real smile is even, but when a person “stretches” it, one corner of the mouth may be higher than the other. Showing teeth is also considered a sign of trust and sympathy. A sign of goodwill is that the interlocutor does not hesitate to laugh in front of you.
Irony. Ironic laughter is inherent in people who treat you, in general, well, but means that at the moment you look comical. The smile is slightly crooked and one eye may be squinted.
Sarcasm - blatant display of disrespect and arrogance. A person considers you below himself and frankly laughs at you. Signs of sarcasm:
- smile curvature;
- arrogant squinting eyes;
- ill will in voice.
How to understand non-verbal signals of boredom? This is especially necessary if a person's profession is associated with constant public speaking. It is also important for sales agents to understand whether a potential buyer is listening to his speech or just pretending. If the opponent is bored, he is unlikely to be able to hide it: body language does not deceive.
Signals of boredom
By these signs you can recognize that the other person is not interested in your story or your company is bored:
- If a person is in a sitting position, especially at a table, he will prop his head up with his hand. And if it is not particularly visible (for example, a student at the back duringlectures), he may even fall asleep.
- A person who is not interested will look at his watch as if he is in a hurry somewhere. He does not look at the interlocutor, but through him or in the other direction, trying to occupy his brain with something.
- Yawning is the most common sign of fatigue. If a person already wants to end the conversation and go home, then he begins to stoop, pile on the wall, lean on the back of the chair.
Distance in sign language
Do you want to understand how the interlocutor treats you? Move closer to him. If you are pleasant to your counterpart, then he will remain in place and smile. When rejected, the person will automatically move away. He does not trust you, and it will be difficult to move into a closer phase of communication.
Non-verbal cues are very important in communication. If they match with your words, then the person will trust you on an intuitive level. Understanding other people's non-verbal signs, you can "read" the interlocutor like a book.
Non-verbal signals in communication will help to attract the attention of the opposite sex. A girl who speaks "body language" is more likely to attract a guy she likes. In addition, if a lady is familiar with such a concept as non-verbal signals of sympathy, and knows how to distinguish between them, she will be able to protect herself from gigolos, swindlers and pikapers. By reading the signals that the body gives us, we can find out what the young man is up to and make sure that he really feels sympathy.
However, sign language is useful not only in amorous affairs. The man, whomakes a career, gets a chance to better interact with superiors or outperform his colleagues if he has such knowledge.
