Lyudmila Petranovskaya is an amazing person. Despite the fact that she sees her goal as helping children left without parents, in fact she helps many parents to better understand the essence of education and build harmonious relationships with children, not only with foster children, but first of all with their own. In the article you can learn about her biography, books and get acquainted with the most relevant ideas and thoughts that she expresses.
Lyudmila Petranovskaya: biography
Born April 20, 1967 in Uzbekistan. A philologist by first education, she received a psychological education at the Institute of Psychoanalysis, she specializes in family counseling and psychodrama. In 2002, she was awarded the Prize of the President of the Russian Federation in the field of education. In 2012, Lyudmila Petranovskaya creates an institute for the development of family care for orphans. The Institute is a public organization whose goal is to train specialists in this field. For a psychologist, it is important that children left without parents do not end up in a boarding school, as this is a completely abnormal world.
In wide circles, Lyudmila Petranovskaya, whose photo can be seen below, became known for her books on parenting. The books were written to help foster parents, but parents of non-foster children find a lot of value in them.
Books of Petranovskaya
Upbringing, parents, relationships are the range of issues explored by Lyudmila Petranovskaya. Children are the main theme of her books. The most popular works: “If it’s difficult with a child”, “What to do if”, “Child of two families”, “Minus one? Plus One!”, “Secret Support: Attachment in a Child's Life”, “A Step Child Came to Class.”
Besides this, she leads LiveJournal, writes a lot about different things: about personal growth trainings, about their dubious benefits and safety precautions, about generational trauma, about new skills combined with old ideas and what it leads to, about emotional burnout of parents and many other useful, relevant, touching things. In a short article it is impossible to cover all the work of this amazing person, let's talk about one topical topic that Lyudmila Petranovskaya raises. It is not customary to discuss it, but it gives rise to a large number of problems.
Parent burnout
The burnout syndrome has been recorded and described in America in the last century. It was believed that it is typical only for people in helping professions: social workers, teachers, doctors, etc. That is, those people who are constantly forced to be in a situation of dependent relationships, when there is a weaker and more vulnerable one nearby.
Such communication creates a need for the helperto be constantly in a cheerful, optimistic state, which, in fact, is a long-term stressful situation that destroys the psyche.
However, it turned out that this syndrome is also typical for parents. But it is not customary for us to discuss this, such a situation is not socially approved, therefore it is not customary to help a parent, despite the fact that the whole family suffers from emotional burnout.
Stages of burnout
The main thing to understand is that the state does not appear suddenly and abruptly, it accumulates slowly and gradually. At the first stage, a person realizes that he is very tired, but he can still control himself due to a sense of duty. If a short rest allows you to feel a surge of strength, then this state of affairs is considered favorable. The characteristic sensation for this stage is irritation.
At the second stage, thoughts that you can pull yourself together and endure are replaced by thoughts that there is no longer any possibility to endure. Any new task causes a feeling of despair, nervous exhaustion sets in, tears, a state of apathy, nothing pleases.
At the third stage, which is considered the most difficult, the deformation of the personality begins. She is characterized by the idea that it's not me that's bad, it's all around the parasites, the children begin to feel like a hindrance.
Risk groups
The risk group includes, first of all, mothers with two children whose age difference is less than five years, parents whose child is often sick, mothers whocombine family and work, single-parent families, when all tasks fall on the shoulders of one parent, families in which difficult living conditions, families in which conflict situations constantly arise.
Adult people who have experienced a dysfunctional childhood in the past. The presence of "witnesses", that is, when children behave badly in front of strangers.
Big stress comes from a bunch of little problems. Therefore, from the outside it seems that there are no reasons, just life. But when a person is already tired, then any little thing can cause a breakdown, a reaction of inadequate guilt, which gives rise to a feeling of guilt in response, and the situation becomes like a vicious circle.
What to do?
Get rid of multitasking. Do one thing at one time. If you work, then let someone take care of the child at this moment. If you make time for your child, then do not be distracted by work.
Get rid of all unnecessary and optional things. Dumplings are also suitable for dinner, and not three courses and dessert, only the most important things around the house, delegate tasks, seek help, take care of yourself.
Get rid of perfectionism. The desire to be perfect in everything is the shortest road to emotional burnout. It is important to accept yourself as imperfect, to treat yourself more carefully and affectionately.
If you feel that fatigue has already accumulated, you need to switch to power saving mode. The amount of sleep for 7-8 hours is important. Figure out how to get enough sleep at least 2-3 times a week. Eat normally and regularly, go for walks, drink vitamins.
If you notice signs of emotional burnout in a loved one, it is important to support him: surround him with care, feed him, give him the opportunity to sleep, hug, stroke, bring breakfast to bed.
Want to learn more?
To all parents, real or just planning to start realizing themselves in this role, I would like to recommend that you definitely read the books written by Lyudmila Petranovskaya. You will find a lot of useful things for yourself, some complex things will turn out to be much simpler and easier.
Besides this, it is worth subscribing to the psychologist's live journal, where she regularly shares her thoughts and talks about projects. In the social network "VKontakte" there is her unofficial group, which contains a lot of interesting and useful information about education, which is given by Lyudmila Petranovskaya. Psychology is a topic that becomes simpler and more understandable in its presentation.
Also, the psychologist periodically holds seminars for parents, where you can get important information on how to raise a happy child, but not lose yourself, where to find strength for your mother and much more, ask questions to the trainer personally. She holds them not only in Moscow, but also in other large cities of Russia. For example, not so long ago seminars were held in Krasnoyarsk and Novosibirsk. There is also an opportunity to attend online lectures given by Lyudmila Petranovskaya.
