What to do when a relative, friend or closest person dies? Let's talk about how to properly pray for the deceased, what pious traditions exist in Orthodoxy. But first, we will clarify: was the deceased a Christian, an Orthodox believer, baptized, or is he a non-Christian. It is very important. Prayer for repose is church and home. In the temple, you can submit notes for both the liturgy and the memorial service. But only the baptized should be written, and those who during their lifetime did not reject God in any way (including suicide).
If the deceased is not baptized
As we said above, in the temple you can submit a note only for the baptized. What to do if a loved one has gone to another world without a cross? Nobody forbids praying at home. The elders and modern priests say about this: “Prayer for the repose of the unbaptized is allowed, but it is impossible to submit notes in the church.” So where is the guarantee that the deceased will be accepted by God?
There is a story about Saint Ouar (Orthodox Christian) who was brutally murdered. For some time, no one collected pieces of his body from the ground to bury. But one kind woman saw a torn bodysaint, carefully collected the remains and buried in a crypt prepared for relatives, despite the fact that she and her family professed a completely different religion. And burial in the family crypt is a great honor. The benefactor saw in a dream Saint Ouar, he thanked her for burying his body. The saint told her: he interceded before God for her dead relatives, now they are in paradise.
Heaven to whom, hell to whom
In different religions there are concepts of heaven and hell, but they interpret and imagine everything differently. Only the Orthodox Church can give an answer as to who is destined to go to heaven and who is to be in hellfire. Open the Gospel: Jesus Christ during his lifetime answered people's questions, taught the apostles. Despite the fact that many answers are given in parables by the Lord Himself, one can read there what sins people can go to hell for, and what the Kingdom of Heaven is like.
Why did we start talking about the Gospel, about hell and heaven? Because the soul of the deceased goes forever to another world, it is eternal. And her fate may depend not only on him, but also on the fervent prayers of loved ones. Therefore, if the deceased is dear to you, you need to remember him. The prayer for the repose of the soul is read both in your own words and according to the prayer book. In the morning rule, pious Christians, among other prayers, have a petition for repose, where you need to list the names of parents, relatives (relatives of all generations), benefactors (those who helped you during your lifetime, prayed for you), all Orthodox Christians.
If the person just died
Who is the newly deceased? From the first day of death to the fortieth day, the soul of the deceased is considered to be newly deceased. But this means not only that he is a “newbie” in the afterlife, but even during this period his future is decided to be taken into account. Therefore, the prayer for the repose of the soul of the newly deceased should be, so to speak, intensified. What is meant? First, be sure to ask the priest to hold the funeral service on the third day. Secondly, a Christian reads the Ps alter for 40 days. In this book, King David sings psalms to God, praises Him and asks for forgiveness for his terrible atrocities. For more than 2,000 years, the Ps alter has been the textbook of true repentance.
Not every person knows how to ask God for forgiveness for their sins. King and psalmist David left behind a unique "textbook". You can read the Ps alter not only during illnesses, mourn for yourself, for others, but also for the deceased. Thirdly, notes should be submitted for the memorial service and liturgy.
A wake or an excuse to drink?
Unfortunately, since the time of the pagans, memorial customs have come in our days that run counter to Orthodox traditions. In fact, you should not drink vodka during a feast, especially putting a stack next to the portrait of the deceased - this is all wrong. If you want to see the deceased humanly, you should read Orthodox prayers for repose to yourself or aloud. The Lord accepts sincere prayers from the relatives of the deceased, and a glass of vodka can be punished, because such an action is a great sin.
It is recommended to invite to the table not crowds of guests who want to eat, chat and drink, but pious people, the poor, the destitute, who could pray for the newly deceased. It is advisable to put kutya (boiled rice with raisins) and at least some juice on the table. Instead of a shot of vodka, the portrait should have a candle or lamp and an icon of the Savior (if a man died) or the Mother of God (if a woman).
What happens to the soul of the newly departed?
Do you know why prayer for repose is so important? Because the soul of the deceased is defenseless. When she leaves the body, she already sees what a living person does not see. Being in the body, a person does not see another world, but can feel it. For example, he feels fear, anxiety, because demons attack him invisibly, he can pray to God with the words of the prayer “May God rise again …”, read the 90th psalm, “Our Father” or in his own words. But when the soul is released, as if it comes out of protective armor, then it is in danger. Only a prayer for repose (from living people) will help get rid of already visible demons and call for help from angels, saints.
For three days the soul is on earth, she can visit her favorite places, be close to loved ones or be close to her body. On the third day, she goes to Heaven to worship God. This path is very difficult for sinners, but easy for the righteous and those who confessed and took communion before death. On the sixth day the soul descends into hell to seewhat is happening there. Then, on the 40th day, ordeals pass. This is a kind of exam, judgment, where the sins of a person are exposed, read by demons. If a person is strongly guilty, then demons can drag him to hell. Therefore, it is very important that a prayer be read for the repose of the soul of the deceased. The Orthodox Church exists for that, to teach all people, to prepare for eternal life. If all this were a myth, then there would be no Church that exists despite severe persecution.
How does prayer work?
It is worth noting for a start that at all times the holy fathers and priests said that the strongest and closest connection with relatives (living and deceased) is through prayer. When you ask the Lord for a loved one, it becomes easier for both the one who asks and the one for whom they ask. Prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased is no less effective than for a living person. The Lord is waiting for us to sincerely ask for each other. He hears requests.
Good deeds
For example, if a person prays for a deceased loved one something like this: “Lord, he did not have time to repent before his death, please forgive him! But may the Lord be Your will, and not mine”or“Lord, now I will give the poor a piece of bread and an apple, accept my prayer for the repose of Your servant (name)”.
The last option says that food and clothing should be distributed to the poor and destitute, help the weak in business. Let this be a sign of intercession for the soul of the deceased. But remember that things must be done sincerely, with love, with a desire to help, and not just for the sake ofdeceased. God needs sincerity, not "necessity."
